Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shoes off house rule

840 replies

BettyBi0 · 02/03/2016 16:11

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

OP posts:
seafoodeatit · 03/03/2016 13:26

We're a no shoes house too although for guests I do inform them that if they feel more comfortable doing so then they are free to wear their shoes as I know it's a big deal for some.

SatsGrrrr · 03/03/2016 13:27

The few offices I've been in here the people switch to indoor shoes but that's because it's easier to wear trainers/flats for the commute then change to more formal shoes, not to stop the germs coming into the office, isn't it?

Iamblossom · 03/03/2016 13:34

I insist my kids take their shoes off in my house. And visiting kids do the same.

I am less fussed about adults because I make the assumption:

they wipe their feet properly before coming in the door
they are more savvy than kids and are able to avoid walking in mud, puddles, dog shit - IME kids are oblivious

I wear my own outdoor shoes in my house for the above reasons. DH usually takes his off as he prefers to wear slippers.

Natsku · 03/03/2016 13:34

They usually switch to more comfy shoes rather than formal shoes SatsGrrrr and change at the entrance/changing rooms. So about being comfy and not bringing in dirt.

Iamblossom · 03/03/2016 13:34

I would hate it if I had to take my shoes off before going into other people's houses

spanky2 · 03/03/2016 13:37

Why? Just want to understand, not judgey.

Gabilan · 03/03/2016 13:38

People really have indoor shoes for the office!

Well usually I cycle to work, often after having been to see my horse. Trampling muddy boots through the office does not seem like a good idea. Even without that, my feet often get wet from cycling. So having a spare clean, dry pair of shoes under the desk makes sense to me. They're not specifically indoor shoes, just cleaner than my riding/ cycling footwear.

As for the expense of this, my feet have not changed size for nearly 30 years. That's a lot of time to acquire an extra pair of shoes, even on a tight budget. Also, it helps shoes last longer if you aren't wearing the same pair every day, as they get a good chance to dry out properly in between wearing.

Really though there are good reasons either way to keep shoes on or take them off. Therefore it makes sense to me to ask when I first go into someone else's home. Unless it's over 25 deg c., which happens about twice a year in the UK, I'll have socks on.

ComeonSummer1 · 03/03/2016 13:39

This thread still going?

It's so fucking rude to wear your shoes in someone else's house.

If it's a party I would take heels in a bag and change.

It's basic respect isn't it?

Spanky ggggrrr how annoying the damage is done by then..

MitzyLeFrouf · 03/03/2016 13:41

'It's so fucking rude to wear your shoes in someone else's house.'

Really? Even if people don't want guests to remove their shoes? Is that really 'fucking rude'?

Or have you just not thought this through very well?

RidersOnTheStorm · 03/03/2016 13:45

It's so fucking rude to wear your shoes in someone else's house.

No, it just isn't, it's the norm.

Do you "shoes off" people ask doctors and health visitors to take their shoes off?

Madness.

LaurieMarlow · 03/03/2016 13:51

It's so fucking rude to wear your shoes in someone else's house

Or is it rude to expect your guests to sit there in discomfort with cold feet?

The mumsnet standoff to end all standoffs Wink

MitzyLeFrouf · 03/03/2016 13:54

I'm happy to take my shoes off if the house requires it but if you come to my house, please leave them on. Or don't visit.

liz70 · 03/03/2016 13:56

CBATRTFT but I would hate to have to pad around somebody else's house in socks, tights or slippers. I'd feel like I were on my way to bed. I have indoor shoes for my own home - slippers during the day makes me feel like an old dear, so they're only worn with PJs and dressing gown. We have laminate floors and washable rugs so any muck etc. will just get cleaned anyway. I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes, nor have I ever been asked to when in anyone else's house.

KatharinaRosalie · 03/03/2016 13:57

I have underfloor heating. Your feet will be toasty.

Where I'm from, yes it's quite common to change shoes when you get to the office, and it's mandatory to change shoes in schools.

Pyjamaramadrama · 03/03/2016 14:00

Why would you have cold feet with your shoes off?

I'm in my house now with no shoes on, my feet aren't cold at all.

Surely you wear socks in winter in closed shoes anyway?

I don't actually ask anyone to take off their shoes because I know some people don't like it, but cold feet is just stupid.

I've found in my personal experience that everyone's different.

I always ask when I go into someone's house if they'd prefer I'd remove my shoes. I'd say it's about 50/50.

As for visitors again it's about 50/50, if people ask I just say "however you're comfy".

When I had midwives visiting most of them removed their shoes without even asking. The health visitors didn't.

VilootShesCute · 03/03/2016 14:00

Filthy house=leave shoes on. Nice clean floors=take shoes off. Quite simple.

VilootShesCute · 03/03/2016 14:01

Yes midwives health visitors etc always took their shoes off in my house too.

MitzyLeFrouf · 03/03/2016 14:02

Such a pity that you don't dedicate as much time to your manners Viloot as you do to your floors.....

Natsku · 03/03/2016 14:04

I have fond memories of sliding around the school hallways in my woolly socks the two days I went to school here when I was a kid. My friend has nicely polished wooden floors just like the school so I slide around his flat in my socks too. Couldn't have fun like that with shoes on!

SatsGrrrr · 03/03/2016 14:04

Filthy house=leave shoes on. Nice clean floors=take shoes off. Quite simple.
Yep, think you've probably nailed it. But with 4 kids (3 dirty boys), 3 cats and a dog I gave up having a clean house years ago Grin

ameliaesmith · 03/03/2016 14:05

Maybe you can buy a fun sign like this which will do the nagging for you? s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/53/28/52/532852c4cacacb63aaef3810db345f18.jpg x

JessieMcJessie · 03/03/2016 14:07

I love the way people on MN declare categorically that a certain behaviour is rude or not rude, without having any appreciation for the fact that different people think different things!

I, for example, Comeonsummer am with Mitzy and would find it rude if some person I barely knew but who had to come into my house started taking off their shoes at my front door - to me it's excessivley informal and I really don't enjoy seeing other people's socks, expecially strange men's! Plus I think that it's a bit dangerous to go about in stockinged soles as you might step on something or slip and fall on our tiled floor and I don't want that responsibility thanks.

Of course if a guest comes to settle in for an evening on the sofa that's different, they're welcome to take off their shoes if it makes them feel more comfortable or at home. But I would think it rude if they didn't ask my permission first.

onehellofaride · 03/03/2016 14:10

We have shoes off rule too and everyone has to adhere to it.

No one has cold feet as the house isn't ever cold and we have clean carpets.

Likewise the dog has his paws wiped when he has been out before he is allowed to run around the house.

I have cream carpets, my DC and dog manage to keep them clean so I don't want to let someone trail mud all over.

VilootShesCute · 03/03/2016 14:13

Each to their own. The joys of free will.

crunchynutclustersdevilswork · 03/03/2016 14:16

I think it's a class thing TBH

Swipe left for the next trending thread