Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 12 13 14 ··· 33 34

Original poster

Shoes off house rule

840 replies

BettyBi0 · 02/03/2016 16:11

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

OP posts:

cleaty · 03/03/2016 08:00

This seems a thing that has come in in the last 10-20 years. Honestly when I was young you would have been thought an extreme control freak to demand guests take off their shoes.

Personally I like guests to feel at home. So take off your shoes or keep them on, up to you.

Although I do object to taking my shoes off in friends houses with dirty floors. I don't appreciate going home with dirty feet.

Natsku · 03/03/2016 08:01

You really offer up your fucking crocs for guests to wear? You expect them to wear your shoes?!

I've never offered them because nobody (except dingbat ex) has a problem with removing their shoes because every fucking person in my entire country removes their shoes when entering a house because its fucking rude not to. They remove their shoes when entering daycare, preschool, primary school, certain health clinics, etc. etc. It is the height of rudeness in my country to wear shoes inside someone's house. Oh and we don't even have carpets so its not to protect carpets, its because its good manners.

Don't recall my parents ever having an issue when I was growing up in the UK either. We were a shoes-off household and everyone took their shoes off.

Shesinfashion · 03/03/2016 08:09

My shoes are not covered in mud or poo. I like shoes and they compliment my clothes. I get your point OP but I feel very uneasy and self conscious sitting in other people's houses shoeless. Especially if (as usual) I'm wearing random odd socks.

TheDowagerCuntess · 03/03/2016 08:09

We're a shoes off house, but I don't expect guests to make themselves uncomfortable if they'd prefer to keep their shoes on. They're just floors!

I can't actually imagine asking someone to remove their shoes, especially an older person, or an evening guest who's dolled up - it's too cringey for words.

Chiup · 03/03/2016 08:12

Why are guest slippers grim? Mine are cotton spa slippers that go in a hot wash between guests. Isn't it more grim to spread bacteria all over the carpets? Think of all the traces of dog poo and wee, drain water, spit, chewing gum etc that we walk through even if they're invisible. Common sense to remove outdoor shoes when entering a home. If you don't like guest slippers bring your own. My mum brings a pair of indoor shoes when she visits. I like my floors and carpets to be hygienic, my baby drops toys on them and I like sitting on the floor.

at the DH who changes his work clothes in the glass lobby! Mine has indoor/outdoor clothes too. He doesn't like to lounge on the bed/sofa in work clothes.

at the poster who thinks it shows you care more about your carpets than guests comfort. Surely as a guest you respect people's furniture and homes? Or would you touch a cream wall with grubby fingers, and blame the host for having expensive wallpaper that marked easily? Is it too much to ask to have clean feet?

Why is it inconvenient to take your shoes off?

Shesinfashion · 03/03/2016 08:13

The only people we know who are "shoes off" dictators are BIL and SIL. They kept the plastic cover on their brand new pram for months and months cos they were obsessed about getting it dirty. Enough said. OCD the pair of them.

cleaty · 03/03/2016 08:17

I too feel self conscious sitting in someone's house just wearing socks, or even worse, bare feet. I have ended up dressed up and having to walk around in bare feet in other people's houses.

xenapants · 03/03/2016 08:17

YABU. Why the hell do you let your toddler lick the floor?!

cleaty · 03/03/2016 08:19

Does that mean guests have to walk barefoot over floor that has just been licked by your toddler?

AKissACuddleAndACheekyFinger · 03/03/2016 08:19

Natsku, what country is that? Only out of interest! I always take my shoes off but I also take my slippers with me to people's houses because I get cold feet! Especially on tiled floors!

TheDowagerCuntess · 03/03/2016 08:27

Surely as a host you welcome people in,
and make sure they're comfortable.

I find 'my house, my rules' types, um .... not particular friendly. You can't imagine going to their place and having a particularly raucous good time.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 03/03/2016 08:29

Iggi my in laws have been collectors for years and some cousins are in the rug trade so in laws don't pay full whack. I have started to hang the more expensive ones on the wall after a couple of accidents (mine) and massive cleaning bills. We have a few Killims as well which are made of wool but still expensive - nobody has ever minded taking off shoes when we explain. I just blame DH's funny forrin ways while being secretly relieved!

And yes chiup I keep waiting for the neighbors to ask about DH's strange post-work strip tease ritual. I take them fresh eggs regularly and smile a lot so hopefully the police don't need to be involved!

Natsku · 03/03/2016 08:32

Natsku, what country is that? Only out of interest! I always take my shoes off but I also take my slippers with me to people's houses because I get cold feet! Especially on tiled floors

Finland. We keep our houses warm so no need to worry about cold feet!

crystalgall · 03/03/2016 08:34

I'm with Natsku (is it Japan?). Do people realise there are numerous cultures/countries where shoes off is absolutely the done thing and it would be horrifying not to take your shoes off?

I too am from such a culture ( South Asian). You just do not ever ever wear shoes indoors at your own or anyone else's home. My mind boggles at walking around in shoes in a house.

As for people who wear shoes all evening in their own home. How bloody uncomfortable! What if you want to put your feet up on the sofa? Do you do that in shoes too? Gross!

MarvellousCake · 03/03/2016 08:36

I never understand these threads. I never ask people to take their shoes off - everyone who has visited our house either takes them off automatically or offers to. It's good manners. Likewise when I visit friends, I make sure my socks are not embarrassing. I don't know anyone who isn't ok with this, including relatives all over the UK. The only situation which might be different is for a party or more formal ocassion.

crystalgall · 03/03/2016 08:37

Maybe people live in cleaner parts of the country but London is filthy. I know I can clean my floors/carpets. I jut don't want to! Much easier to have shoes off.

Also so many shoes on people seem to not own decent socks! Lots of mismatching and holes. Maybe buy some!

oldjacksscrote · 03/03/2016 08:41

The only time I have a shoes off rule is when I have a crawling baby and people still don't respect that.

I don't mind a shoes off rule, if it's their house it's their rules and I think you should be respectful of that.

RidersOnTheStorm · 03/03/2016 08:41

I haven't ever been asked to take my shoes off when visiting friends. And I'm in my 60s, so that's a long time of not being told to take my shoes off. It just doesn't happen.

And I certainly never tell people to take their shoes off here. Muddy boots are automatically removed if we've been walking through fields, obviously, but normal shoes - just no.

cleaty · 03/03/2016 08:42

I own decent socks. And also do not wear any with some shoes. Barefoot on dirty floors is horrible.

I wear shoes in the evening in my house. I have problems with my feet and it is way more comfortable to wear shoes. Of course I don't put them on the sofa.

Murphyslaw21 · 03/03/2016 08:46

No shoes on my house. Dog poo and dirty street. Baby dribbling and licking floor. My attitude is don't like it then don't come

KatharinaRosalie · 03/03/2016 08:46

Why are people walking around in smelly socks with holes in them? Isn't it uncomfortable, even if you don't take your shoes off? Socks are not that expensive that this should be a financial issue for most people.

KatharinaRosalie · 03/03/2016 08:51

As for why someone would let their kids lick the floor - I might have missed a trick, but how on earth do you stop them?

I have a 7-month old, she chewks and licks everything (which I think is perfectly normal developmental stage). But the only way to stop her from licking the floor is to never allow her on the floor, which is not really ideal.

Greyponcho · 03/03/2016 08:52

What amazes me is the assumption that every dog does neat little poos that can be, and always are cleaned up in their entirety... along with discarded takeaways, phlegm balls, fag ends and general street grime

Clearly the problem is light coloured carpets, apparently (from some of the posters on here), it is perfectly acceptable to expect to wear shoes indoors as you can't see the dirt that's being trodden into dark coloured carpets if you can't see the dirt and shit, it's not really there

So stop dithering on here, OP, and get your dark carpets ordered!

Greyponcho · 03/03/2016 08:54

KR - baby hands on floor, baby toys on floor, baby hands in mouth, baby toys in mouth
Can't expect OP to be on constant standby to wipe baby's hands before every floor to mouth movement

monkeymamma · 03/03/2016 08:55

We are shoes off household but I would never ask someone to remove shoes unless visibly dirty. If asked 'should I take my shoes off' I say 'yes please if you don't mind'. My ddad never ever ever takes his off (even when going up the stairs and to the kids rooms etc) BUT he is very clean, hates dog poo etc, and is also disabled after multiple fracture back injury and it is really painful for him to fiddle about with footwear. I also usually offer my slippers to my mum as our floor is cold and she does the same for me at their house! We don't find it yucky but we are family!!

Flip

1 2 ··· 12 13 14 ··· 33 34