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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby gender reveal party!

162 replies

Flashbangandgone · 02/03/2016 14:31

Firstly, it should be 'sex' not 'gender', but that's not my issue.

Maybe I've lived in a bubble the past few years, but I've only just realized these existed. For those of ignorant ones like me, this is where a sonographer doesn't share the sex of the unborn child with the parents, but sends it off to a baker, who then makes a cake either with blue or pink sponge, covered with icing. It may get sent to a balloon supplier too who blows up a load of pink or blue balloons depending on the result.

So, the parents or parent, hosts a party at which guests are invited to share in the drama of finding out the baby-to-be's sex.... The cake is cut into and the assembled throng whoop and cheer as the sex is revealed, with many congratulations given.... The couple would then let loose the balloons (hitherto encased in some kind of sack to keep the suspense), gazing open mouthed in wonder as the news of their foetus' sex is carried off to the world on the four winds, providing an Instagram-tastic opportunity.....

AIBU to think this is kind of party is the height of a toe-curling, self-indulgent pretention that I hope never catches on (though I believe it already has the in the States).... or am I just being a grumpy, fun-hating grouch.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 02/03/2016 16:17

I suspect that in ten years' time we'll also have Daughter's Day, Niece's Day, yadda yadda to go along with Mother's Day etc. Sad

dolkapots · 02/03/2016 16:21

A very average, down to earth school friend of mine moved to US and got married there. I follow her on FB and oh! the entertainment value has been brill. She had a "congratulations your pregnant" party first and then the gender reveal was a massive affair with a party co-ordinator, lots of themed decorations, lots of people and presents and food. it must have cost an absolute fortune and they are not well off. I didn't realize that that is the first time the couple find out?! I thought they were doing a big reveal to others? I would find it really weird that others were privy to that info before me (baker, co-ordinator) and then I would find out at the same time as friends/acquaintances...

Anyway she then had a baby shower, party post arrival of baby etc. I found out that subsequent baby's "shower" is called a "sprinkle? Far, far too much effort for me.

Birdsgottafly · 02/03/2016 16:22

Yeah, it's terrible to find an excuse to get together and celebrate something.

Me and my circle are a bit "any excuse", but we're also apparently unusual in that we love to meet up and enjoy each other's, news, company and events. That what comes of having a friendship group of people that you actually like and wish well.

In RL I've never heard the attitudes spouted on here, thankfully.

Primaryteach87 · 02/03/2016 16:23

Confession time. We did this. Sort of. We already knew and I made a cake which revealed the gender and invited both sets of grandparents round. So it was a very low key but fun way of telling them. I enjoyed it and think you are a big meanie for spooling the fun Grin

dolkapots · 02/03/2016 16:25

I thought "Team Green" were people who weren't finding out sex?

coffeeisnectar · 02/03/2016 16:26

Green cakes are for those giving birth to Kermit

Battenburg for twins

Skittles filled cake for triplets and more

Fruit cake for gay couple who don't care what sex the baby is

squoosh · 02/03/2016 16:27

That what comes of having a friendship group of people that you actually like and wish well.

Thinking these parties are the last word in self-obsessed guff means you don’t like your friends or wish them well?

Okaaaay.

GobiasIndustries · 02/03/2016 16:27

Grin Thank you Primaryteach! Glad I'm not the only one on here who thinks its ok to do this!

Burgatroyd · 02/03/2016 16:27

Sounds fun but I'd use any excuse for cake.

dolkapots · 02/03/2016 16:30

I forgot to mention the push present Grin

PiperChapstick · 02/03/2016 16:31

Yeah, it's terrible to find an excuse to get together and celebrate something.

Me and my circle are a bit "any excuse", but we're also apparently unusual in that we love to meet up and enjoy each other's, news, company and events. That what comes of having a friendship group of people that you actually like and wish well.

In RL I've never heard the attitudes spouted on here, thankfully.

Take it you're the woman who hired a DJ? Grin

It's possible to be happy for each other's news without having a full-on party about it Hmm it's not like if you dont throw a party every time they get a job interview or win at bingo you fucking hate them

MyLifeisaboxofwormgears · 02/03/2016 16:32

My cousin was told she was having a girl - she had twin boys, so this sort of party would have been a massive irony!
Also - who really cares? Does it matter? Why are we making it matter?

Alconleigh · 02/03/2016 16:49

I am very fond of my friends. I've known some of the buggers for 30 years. I like their kids, remember their birthdays, take them presents, etc. I don't care if they are boys or girls though, and I certainly didn't care when they were in utero! What is there to celebrate about knowing which sex it is, and why should anyone else be interested?! If I were asked to such a party by any of my friends I would genuinely think they were having some sort of breakdown, it's so extravagantly self obsessed.

Flashbangandgone · 02/03/2016 16:51

Me and my circle are a bit "any excuse", but we're also apparently unusual in that we love to meet up and enjoy each other's, news, company and events. That what comes of having a friendship group of people that you actually like and wish well.

Wtf?!? Sharing news and good times with friends is very different to thinking every incident needs to be 'celebrated' with a massive party replete with specially ordered cakes, presents and decorations all organised by some party coordinator (ffs, I didn't even have a party coordinator at my wedding!)

OP posts:
specialsubject · 02/03/2016 16:52

the world has indeed gone mad.

and yes, you don't always get what the sonographer thinks you will get; this has happened to a friend of mine too. No problem, she and all concerned are happy with a healthy baby of either kind but the whole reveal concept is fundamentally flawed.

Sadly I've also just been told about a stillbirth in the family, totally unexpected. This is another reason for no baby showers, pre-birth parties etc; wait until the kid is safely here. It's not about 'bringing bad luck'.

Buckinbronco · 02/03/2016 16:54

It's very American and not common here but I don't really see the problem. Most people don't have enough parties!

mummymeister · 02/03/2016 16:59

what next? Live feed to the maternity suite so your friends can watch it all on tv a la big brother!

viewing rooms overlooking maternity suites?

how about a party on the night you are going to have sex to make a baby?

why or why when America leads do we just follow.

I used to love guy fawkes night. now completely overshadowed by trick or treating fecking Halloween.

Deletetheheat · 02/03/2016 17:00

It's just beyond self indulgent and ghastly.

Who the fuck cares what sex a friend's baby is?!

I am always very very happy to hear their joyful news of a pregnancy, I couldn't care less about the sex (or the pregnancy...or the birth..)

mcoy · 02/03/2016 17:09

It's hard enough for those who suffer infertility or losses having to see scan pictures and birth announcements every 2 mins on FB, I can't help but feel gender reveal parties are simply photo ops to plaster over FB

There's no actual need for it, and nobody really cares. Except for the parents and those who are upset but hide it by having it thrust under their noses.

Littlecatbigpanther · 02/03/2016 17:10

Yanbu. Self obsessed and cringe worthy, like baby showers.

VikingLady · 02/03/2016 17:13

I do care about my friends, I really do. And I care about the wellbeing of their babies and potential babies.

But I don't give a flying fuck what sex their foetus is. Not am I especially interested in poring over scan photos (I never got the hang of magic eye photos anyway). I'll feign attraction to their new baby and pretend it's almost as cute as mine, even if it's truly hideous. That's friendship to me, and I fully expect my friends to feel the the same towards me.

Baby showers are bad enough (counting eggs springs to mind), particularly if the parents to be make you admire 3D scan pics (truly creepy). But this adds. Whole new layer of twee!

CreamofTartar · 02/03/2016 17:13

Who are these sonographers??? The two I had were both, understandably enough, concerned with measurements and checking for visible anomalies. If I'd tried to rope them into some sub-party-planner, baker-liaison role, they'd have been unimpressed, to say the least...

fuzzpig · 02/03/2016 17:14

wow. just wow

Lweji · 02/03/2016 17:19

My sonographer had to go back and check, as I asked, even though it had been really obvious during the scan. I think she was concentrating so much on measurements that it didn't register at all.

As for such parties, some people do need to feel the centre of attention. I don't, so I wouldn't dream of doing one. Ever.

nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath · 02/03/2016 17:41

I forgot to mention the push present grin

And the Babymoon, let's not forget the Babymoon.