dd [21] objects to £50 pw rent

[mrsfuzzy]

title says it all, low-ish income house hold. dh reduced hours [26 per wk], i have medical problems so limited for work, ds on j.s.a, two in college, one in school. ddhi college full time, but works 14 -16 hours at weekends, takes home about £600 pm. self inflicted debt, wastes money on stupid things i.e £20 bet that her mate would throw up after chugging a milk shake, dd lost 'but it was a laugh' .
now she has told dm that she is 'paying £50 a week to share a box room with her dsis [3 bed house] and it's not fair because she's not at home much ! dm has just me this on the land line dd uses [dropped her phone - broken].
aibu, considering we cannot do with any reduction in income.

No point comparing it to a flat share. Because it's not a flat share but her family home.

To be fair you could get a room round here for £50 too. You wouldn't get food but you could get a room in a house share and bills.

But that isn't relevant because the op isn't a landlord out for profit.

£50 a week for a room and a full board is peanuts! You'd think she'd want to contribute to the family wellbeing

Well she's not doing all she can onlylovers she has another adult there who presumably costs at least as much as the DD to keep who isnt paying the same amount. There's £30 a week she isnt collecting.

"You'd think she'd want to contribute to the family wellbeing"

She is!

She's paying what has been agreed.

What more should she do?

I don't think it's the amount that's unreasonable (well as bit I would suggest 20 pound a week) it's the fact her dad and brother are both work shy and she has to study and work.

Exactly vixxface, if everyone else was also contributing £50 per week then fair dos. But they're not.

My ex's double room in shared house in city centre was £200 a month. He had use of all rooms in house that werent bedrooms (except his own obviously) plus parking space and use of back garden and garage for storage. That works out at £46.15 a week. Half of that is £23 but thats a double so lets say £20 for OP's DD's half of the boxroom. Food, electric, water on top of that. Would it be £30 a weeks? If it is then it is for the son too and he should be paying £50.

OP, for what it is worth I think you've raised a responsible young woman there.

She is working and going to college and has offered £50 per week off her own bat to help cover her costs at home. Lots of parents would want one like her.

It isn't your fault but the living situation where you have 4 young adults at home in a small house is maybe frustrating for her and that has come out as "Waaah, it's not fair" to your mum. It might be out of her system by now.

There may be a source of the frustration that you don't know about. Has she found out that one of her friends stays with her parents and pays nothing? Is there a new boyfriend on the scene that she'd like to see more of but can't because of college/work/sharing a room with her sister?

Hope you can sort it out with her.

thewocket, you wrote earlier the op's dh could be overqualified for whats available jobwise, as we all know if you need the money you take whatever's on offer....and this family need the money

I think it's a huge lot. She's in full time eduction and it's her family home where she doesn't even have her own room and privacy.

The lesson to her is study and work on your days off and be penalised as it's cheaper to do nothing all day and live on JSA.

If the household income is low, it's not her fault. She shouldn't be expected to pay the difference because you or her siblings don't work and dad just does a few hours. Bar food, your bills would be the same with or without her there unless she has numerous showers.

A token gesture for food yes but as a full time student I'd want her to concentrate on that not working to provide for the rest.

I think £50 is too high as she is fulltime student. Your husband should work more hours and it is vague if you are working as it just says you are limited and not that you can't. So if you as a couple are only working 26 hours between you, it seems pretty unfair that you expect a full time student and part time worker to contribute so much, I only ask £75 a week from my partner and he is on over £40 000!

If she's got enough money to spend enjoying herself, then she's got enough money to pay her way. £50 a week all-inclusive is your offer. She can like it or lump it. I doubt she'll find anywhere else where all the bills are included, but she's free to look if she wants to. You aren't forcing her to stay against her will.

For those saying that taking 1/3 of income to spend on rent, bills food etc is high...you must live on a different planet to the one I'm on. I don't know anyone who has 2/3 of their income left over when all the bills are paid! I work full-time in a decent job, and I'd be laughing if I had £400 a month left over at the end of the month like this girl does.

I've worked out what my dd costs us. She is 14. In just food and essentials such as washing and ironing she costs close to £200 per month (I admit she eats a lot and likes a lot of meat). Yanbu

dh reduced hours (26)....you dont work due to medical problems, i special needs teenager, one on jobseekers and another in college....the 21 yr old in full time education and working weekends and you rely on her money to keep afloat..... your husband feels he doesnt have to work full time to support your family so i guess tax credits fill in the gap, you get DLA prob for a special needs child and i presume you get carers allowance.....im quite shocked really that you take money from the only hard working one in the family....poor girl subsidising your family when your husband should man up....shocking!

Scooby - why on earth don't you charge your DP more?!

She's not subsidising the family at all. She's an adult, and she is being asked to pay a contribution which covers what it costs to house and feed her, and is hugely less than it would cost her to house-share somewhere.
If she was at university aged 18 and above, she'd be expected to pay for her own food and rent.
She is not studying full time, after all.
If the DH can earn more, then that would obviously be a great help, but wouldn't mean that the DD should stop contributing to her upkeep.

I'm of the opinion she should pay board £50 a week is cheap but I would also charge board to DS who is on JSA 1/3 same as your DD.

I will be charging my children board when they start working and if all goes to plan it'll go into a savings account

Forgot to add. I will be charging my DC board so it teaches them the value of money and that bills need to be paid.

has OP explained why her partner isn't working more than 26 hours ?

any medical reasons aside, he should be stepping up...there is no childcare to do as OP also doesn't work so what is he doing for the rest of the 14 or so hours a week a father of several kids would be expected to get his arse into gear for ?

Rucker, the 21 yo is studying full time

im with anyfucker !

I think it's a joke a child who doesn't work pays £20 to sit in the house all day whilst his sister is in full time education and works so has to pay £50 to share a smaller room. Wow.

For a shared room, it really is quite a lot.