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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone just want a day off work and a day off your kids?

135 replies

BloodyHell33 · 01/03/2016 21:43

I work term times. Great, it works amazingly round the children.

I love my job and I love my kids but on Monday I found myself willing an illness to come so I had a genuine excuse to have a day off work and the kids be at school. As if I would enjoy it if I were ill Confused.

Even tonight I'm busting for a day off.

My DH would happily take the kids off my hands for a few hours on a weekend. But I want a whole day. Selfish, I know!

DH works full time too, self employed so gets 4 days holiday a year (unpaid, when we go to Butlins which isn't exactly relaxing!)

So he too, deserves a day off no work no kids.

No family round us to give us this pleasure either. Even then, if they did, I'd like it totally alone and not even with DH. Blush. I know, meany.

I just want a DAY OFF!!

OP posts:
JeremyZackHunt · 02/03/2016 00:07

I work in a paid job which means that I must save a bit of leave until March in case of emergencies.
And if I still have those few days come March then I get to take them for Meeeeeeeeeee! I'm awesome at neglecting housework and can happily blow a day on my hobby.

FastWindow · 02/03/2016 00:08

Young dc, your Royalness? Drudgery is my middle name and praying for September when we get 30 hours free childcare. Oh my goodness, i could even get my hair cut. By a professional.

FastWindow · 02/03/2016 00:09

Jeremy ah do tell.

JeremyZackHunt · 02/03/2016 00:21

It's monstrously boring, sorry Fast!
But it makes me happy and doesn't involve leaving the house or benefitting my children :) And a bit outing Grin

FastWindow · 02/03/2016 00:28

jezza Then i shan't ask any more, but shall imagine you knitting huge scarves then unravelling the whole thing and rolling it all back up into a perfect , shop bought wodge of multicoloured wool. With the paper thing back on, so noone knows. (v difficult getting that back on.)

HerRoyalNotness · 02/03/2016 00:30

No that's the thing, they're at school. I've been out of work 9mths now and losing confidence that I'll actually get something soon.

I am sick of getting up and doing the school run and not having funds to do anything much to brighten the day. Anything I think of, eg oooh I'll do the garden, needs money. For the first time in my life I don't know how to solve our current problems and that is hard!

JeremyZackHunt · 02/03/2016 00:36

Fast omfg. You're my flipping mother spying on me!!!!! She's knitting a Dr Who scarf...

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 02/03/2016 00:51

Hell.YES. To this entire thread.

DD starts full-time school in September (at nursery school 4 mornings) and good GOD I can't wait for the days when I don't work all to myself.

And yet, I still feel guilty Sad

Incidentally, I took her out of nursery school yesterday to have a day together as I worked all weekend. She told me "This was nice, but I miss my friends."

I think we understand each other.

Ooof35 · 02/03/2016 07:33

I had an entire 6 hours to myself at the end of summer when youngest ds was taken out by DGP and others went to school. I just lay on the sofa, dozing, listening to the silence and not getting up. Put my phone on do-not-disturb and marvelled in the fact that NOBODY was asking me questions / demanding / requesting / needing anything from me. Really was pure and utter bliss.

redexpat · 02/03/2016 08:02

Read How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. His first suggestion is a 'Boxing day' every month which is basically a day off from everything and everyone. So that means getting someone to watch the kids one day a month in order to facilitate this.

MissHooliesCardigan · 02/03/2016 09:55

I started a new job in January and my new boss wouldn't let me take all of half term off so I now have 3 days leave to take in March. I can't fucking wait.

OhHolyFuck · 02/03/2016 10:06

Fuck yes. I work nights so I have the kids all day and homeless adults (who come with their own chaos) all night.

I want silence. I want someone not to talk AT me about shit I don't care about, especially when they repeat that shit 15 times in a row at me until I answer. I want to be not touched or have someone climbing on me. I want to move with having a child follow me/get under my feet/stand exactly where I want to be. I want a hot drink. I want to pee in peace without it being a spectator event. I want not to be woken up at 5am with someone breathing in my face.
I want it not to all be on me since DP fucked off.

DS2 starts nursery in September and I cannot fucking wait.

BaryMerry · 02/03/2016 10:11

A bit embarrassed to post this, but I am in the middle of a whole week off work on my own. I've been promising myself this since last year when I was so busy I almost burned out and then I carried over some leave from last year, so here I am! I work p/t but it's amazing how little I get done in the two days I don't work Hmm
So far I'm enjoying taking things at my own pace, and I've indulged in a fair bit of writing, walking and gardening (which is what I wish I could do all day, every day!) but I've not yet managed to do half the things I thought I would do with a week off - and Saturday is looming, when the DDs and DH will need entertaining again...
I won't complain, I'm very lucky to be able to do this and the opportunity may not arise again for some time!

imwithspud · 02/03/2016 10:37

Enjoy Bary that sounds heavenly!

Postchildrenpregranny · 02/03/2016 10:41

It will be fine when you retire .I loved my job and my kids but it is bliss .

NewLife4Me · 02/03/2016 10:51

I have this everyday, I love my life.
People say, don't you get bored but there's lots of things to do.
So the normal work week I spend doing all sorts of things and when dd comes home at weekend sometimes, or school holidays, I spend time with her and the other dc come home for family time.

I love not having to be somewhere at a particular time, with the exception of appointments, obviously.
It's lovely to come and go as you like, eat what you like, when you want to.
Not to have to answer to an employer or kids, time for me and dh to have some fun, in between his work.
Going out and not having to find babysitters, having the odd break away or holiday.

Friends tell me they'd be bored, but there's a whole world out there to explore, even from your arm chair if you are unable to get out.
I have lots of hobbies and interests that are long term, rather than just for a few weeks.

I see it as our time now, with of course the care of dd when she is at home.
I have dropped the label sahm now, not that I used it anywhere but here.

BugPlaster · 02/03/2016 11:10

YANBU.
I had a few days sick over half term and the fact I was so ill DH had to look after kids was itself a treat. I was able to be ill, let it take over, then Recover. BUT as pp said, that has made me want a real real day off. I'm desperate for it. Trying to get youngest into a childminder so it might one day be possible but now he keeps getting ill too so we can't even go and check them out. I am sympathetic to my poor DS. Doesn't stop me wanting a day off though.

Vanillaradio · 02/03/2016 12:39

I am doing this on Friday. Normally I work 3 days a week but last week I worked 4 as there was training I needed to do. So this week I only have to work 2 days and hell yeah ds is still going to nursery! Can't wait! I'm thinking lots of rubbish telly, coffee and uninterrupted computer time! Brew

weegiemum · 02/03/2016 12:43

Last week I had a 3 day residential intensive for my MA. It was too far away to come home on the last day so I had a night in a hotel all to myself and then a 6 hour train journey home on my own

Luckiest woman alive!

Shinyshoes2 · 02/03/2016 12:43

I have a whole WEEK off work this week .... A whole week to do as I please ( ok during school hours ) ... I'm living it and am spending a ridiculous amount of time in bed ... I'm currently about to make fish fingers in a roll and watch some bollox on the telly
Bliss

lornski · 02/03/2016 13:22

I am doing just this today. been for a run, housework for an hour then had a bath in total peace followed by a nap. Now out for lunch and going to take a stroll round the shops before i pick DD up. I just needexd "me" day x

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 02/03/2016 14:04

I'm having a day off on Friday! I'm currently on maternity but dp is off on Friday and I'm going to have a baby free lunch with a pal and then wander around the shops without a pram and maybe even have a hot cuppa at some point! This is the height of excitement for me these days Grin

BaryMerry · 02/03/2016 14:12

OP I do hope you get a day off soon.

No-one should feel guilty for wanting time on their own! I thrive on it so I carve it out whenever I can and it makes me a much better mum/wife when I am with the DDs and DH. When they were small I really struggled with having them at home so much, and DH is a teacher so school holidays were HARD with everyone around - they still are sometimes!

When they were small I was desperate to work, now the DDs are at school I'm starting to wish I could stay at home Grin We couldn't afford me giving up work of course and I do like my job, but I dream of the day when I can spend my days knocking about at home, do some writing, gardening, keep on top of the housework, get a dog and go for long walks...Perhaps I really would get bored after a while and miss having a job and office life - but it would be nice to try Grin

JapaneseSlipper · 02/03/2016 14:16

"I want a whole day. Selfish, I know!"

Can people stop saying this? Of course it's not selfish to want a whole day off. Perpetuating the idea that it is only makes other women feel bad for wanting the same.

Good luck - hope you get a break. Sounds tough xx

oldlaundbooth · 02/03/2016 17:32

Sorry, BloodyHell, I'm late coming back to the party!

I:

Dropped DS at nursery. (7:30am)

Went for breakfast with DH. Ate too much but whatever.

Went home. Minced about, put laundry in, vaguely tidied.

Went out for coffee (piping hot coffee, dontcha know!) in my fave local coffee shop. MNetted and relaxed.

Home for lunch. Laundry. Read for a bit. Did lots of cooking.

Went for a pedicure. One hour of bliss. Did some clothes shopping, generally floated about.

Picked DS up.

I recommend it!