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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this woman rude?

108 replies

BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 09:49

In the school playground this morning, DS brought some toys with him to play with before school, the usual group of boys came to play. One mother told me I shouldn't let him share with other DC, and told her DS to put a toy down. I told him it was OK, he could play with it. Later, my DS ran off to do something else, leaving the other boys to play with his toys. The same woman said "He's gone, put the toys in the bag" to me. I replied "No, his friends are playing with them." I really wanted to say "ODFOD" but I realise that this isn't appropriate in a school playground. So my question's in the title.

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 01/03/2016 12:33

Also angie a library is not really a place to scoot. A scooter is an outdoor toy.

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 12:34

Whatthe then, according to Sod's Law, we'd be late. I allow 10 minutes for faffing, tantrums, last minute poos etc.

Midnite he might be leaving them, but I'm sat right there watching. I know all the kids and if things get a bit rough I'll ask them to be careful. Obviously I wouldn't let them steal anything right from under my nose.

He's 4.5 MT. The "little more suck" will get gradually littler as he'll have to give him back before he lines up for Y1.

TripTrap he doesn't share Bear, he's his transition object. Also he doesn't actually suck him, he sucks his thumb while stroking Bear.

The mother told her DS not to play with the toy because she thought my DS would get upset, despite having done this every day since he started, his own choice. I know this, because that's what she said to me before she spoke to her DS.

OP posts:
TheJiminyConjecture · 01/03/2016 12:38

To be fair Angielou I'd have a face like Confused Hmm if you allowed your child to ride a scooter in a library regardless of who it belonged to!

Only1scoop · 01/03/2016 12:40

What's a 'transition object'?

Sorry I'm clueless.

Seems to me she was faffing around to make sure he got all his toys back maybe? Was she a tad stressed?

SoupDragon · 01/03/2016 12:40

Good grief... What a load of fuss about nothing! Who cares if a kid has toys before school? It was none of the other mother's business and she has no right to tell you to put them away.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2016 12:42

Stop doing it you're pissing off the other parents.

Actually, it only seems to be one control freak parent who is making a fuss.

gandalf456 · 01/03/2016 12:43

Soup, you put it a lot more clearly than Idid Grin

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 12:45

Hygge they have climbing equipment but they're only allowed to use it during school hours because of insurance. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 12:48

Only he sucks his thumb and strokes Bear, it's his transition object. He doesn't actually suck it, and he doesn't have to share it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 12:51

Blimey Perspicacia he's in reception! He's also August-born, so the youngest in his class.

OP posts:
Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 12:58

Only transition objects are teddies, blankets etc that children use for security. He sleeps with him and takes him everywhere, although he's becoming gradually less reliant on him.

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 01/03/2016 13:00

My DDS school must operate very differently from others then! After the first week of Reception, parents didn't even go onto the playground, we just sent them in and off we went, the school is very hot on fostering independence and I wholeheartedly agree. DD was only 4+1, but would happily skip into school and that was that, not because she was especially independent but because that was the way it was! No fuss, just straight into school.

It might be worth using the rest of this year to wean him off the teddy and toys,so that come Y1 he won't be singled out as different to the rest of the kids OP.

Neither of mine have had any toys they are attached to like that, so I've no experience of doing it but I'm sure there are lots of mumsnetters who have Smile

StarOnTheTree · 01/03/2016 13:00

If you want to let your son bring in his toys, that's your business. If other people have a problem with it then that is their business. This woman has no place to decide what you do or don't do with your son's toys. If it's a headache for her, it is a headache for her. It's part and parcel of being a parent.

This

I'm with gandalf456 and SoupDragon

Only1scoop · 01/03/2016 13:00

Ah I see thanks

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 13:01

Thanks Soup you took the words right out of my mouth! And it's amazing how many PPs are missing the fact that it's being talked to like a 4-year-old that I really objected to!

OP posts:
cuntycowfacemonkey · 01/03/2016 13:07

I don't know why everyone's getting their knickers in a twist about a 4 year old taking a few toys on the school run. Total non issue. Other woman is weird. You sound like a lovely mum by the way

cuntycowfacemonkey · 01/03/2016 13:11

I can assure you OP that no Yr1 child will give a tinkers toss about seeing another kid with a toy in the playground. IME children are far more accepting of differences and quirks than grown ups well until their parents influence finally rubs off on to them.

So many parents are scared of their child being different in anyway they force them to grow up too fast lest they don't fit in perfectly

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 13:15

Whatthe he's not different, a lot of the kids have toys and a few have teddies or blankets. DD still takes toys in sometimes and she's in Y3. He'll hand Bear over before he lines up in Y1.

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 01/03/2016 13:16

That's not what I said at all cunty, the school will no doubt stop the toys at some point. I was talking about the teddy, as I witnessed myself a boy absolutely distraught that he couldn't take his blanket on a school trip, as he was so used to having it when anywhere but in school.

DownstairsMixUp · 01/03/2016 13:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 13:18

Thanks cunty. Wow that's a weird sentence! Grin

OP posts:
OliviaDunham · 01/03/2016 13:25

My DS3 often takes things to school in the mornings, him and his friends play with them, then when the bell goes I take them home - didn't think this was odd. The woman telling you to put them away and not allowing her DS to play does seem very odd though.

Original poster
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/03/2016 13:26

Whatthe he's been on school trips loads of times and has never asked for Bear, and I've helped out on all but 2 of them.

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 01/03/2016 13:27

Ahhhh ok, well he should be fine then!

lalalalyra · 01/03/2016 13:27

Some of you would hate DS's school - loads of the kids bring toys into the playground. As long as the parent/childminder/dropper-offer takes them home the school don't mind at all.

If the other parent doesn't want their child to play with the toys then she should deal with him. She shouldn't be speaking to the OP likes she's some sort of playground boss figure. Especially when the OP's DS has taken his toys in every morning.

OP - your DS will wean himself off his toys himself. My DS is 8 and now now doesn't take any toys in the morning because he and his friends have discovered 'toilet tig' and they are busy playing that in mornings.