Was I unreasonable to buy my friend something she didn't ask for

[LifeofI]

I went on holiday for a week and my friend was looking after my cat.
Before i left i said i will give her petrol money (she lives about 10mins drive) but she refused and asked if i can buy her some tobacco in the duty free.
When i came back i passed by spain and the tobacco she wanted was 55 euros as they only had the big boxes.
So instead i brought her a MAC mascara.

When i gave it to her today she said to me she didnt ask for this and wanted tobacco.
I could tell she was disappointed and i felt bad.

was i wrong to do this?
should i buy her a pack of tobacco from here?

[Phalenopsisgirl]

I would have just bought the tobacco ! Why on earth would you substitute that for mascara? If the brand she asked for had not been available then I would have have texted her and asked what she wanted instead. It's not just the money for petrol, what about her time? £40 is peanuts considering the effort she made. Now I think you should go out and buy the equivalent amount of tobacco at full taxed price and take it as a lesson learnt !

[gobbynorthernbird]

The friend was also (albeit secondarily) looking after OP house. She would have been responsible for dealing with any immediate issues had she arrived to a break in, leak, whatever. I don't think £40 is too much in this situation at all.

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

It's just such an odd substitute i'm baffled by the logic tbh. £20 on something someone didn't want is a waste of your money. You should have just given her the £25 in a card when you got home if that's all you wanted to spend.

[KiwiJude]

Next time be prepared for friend to say no she can't look after your cat. Not sure what the regs are over where you are, but here in NZ for a cat to go to the cattery they have to be up to date with immunisation so that might be another cost factor to take into account on top of cattery boarding fees.

Also, MAC are a company that test their products on animals for their lucrative China market. Tell that to your cat.

[LifeofI]

i couldnt text, call. My phone wouldnt let me.

[LifeofI]

kiwi my friend is not petty like you. She wouldnt refuse to do something again just because i made a mistake and MAC do not test on animals which is why i use it.

[LifeofI]

to posters telling me "next time put your cat in a cattery"
You do not get to tell me what to do with my cat and i would never put her in prison just because i want to go away.
Some of you are so petty, I made a mistake luckily i don't hang around petty people who will say things like "i'm not going to look after your cat again because you never got me tobacco"
God how sad of an individual do you have to be to think like that. Grow the hell up.
I clearly wasn't trying to be an arse as i brought her something in return, maybe i was being tight as i would have had to pay for the tobacco on my card which charged and I didn't want to and i had 30 euros on me.
Makes me appreciate my friends the way some of you behave on here.

[Glastokitty]

In prison, FFS! Have you ever looked at any catteries? Some of them are like five star hotels!

I also think you were being tight.

[TurnOffTheTv]

Typical AIBU

OP- 'Was I being unreasonable buying my friend something she didn't ask for?'
Whole of mumsnet 'Yes'
OP 'waaahhh no I'm not, you're all petty'

[nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath]

You should have bought the tobacco. You offered her petrol money and she refused. The cost of going backwards and forwards every day for a week presuming it was once a day is 20 mins driving x 7, plus the cost of the gift for helping you wasn't worth 40 quid? When a cattery would have cost you at least twice that?

I'm not surprised she's a bit put out. It was an odd thing to do for the small amount of money it saved you in the end.

[KiwiJude]

You're funny OP, getting all bitter and twisted and calling people names when they don't agree with you. Have a slice of and a while you write x 500 I will buy my friend the tobacco she asks for next time she does me a big favour

And moving right along... parent company of MAC, Estee Lauder resumed animal testing in 2012 to meet testing requirements in China. You can say it however you want but it's still part of a company that does animal testing.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Goodness me. Poor op has been roasted on a Pitt folk and dished out for supper.

[TurnOffTheTv]

Pitt folk? Do you mean pitch fork?

[HamaTime]

YABU. She did you a big favour and it was petty not to spend a little bit more than you expected on what she asked for. If she had known you weren't going to get the baccy she may have taken the petrol money.
My mother does this and it's infuriating. I'll say something like

'Can you pick up a copy of Mary Beard's book, bag of sweet potatoes and some felt tip pens AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY'

Then she'll turn up with a different book 'because it was cheaper' , one white potato 'these ones were 11p a kg less' and some coloured pencils stolen from a restaurant. Then I'll give her the money and she'll keep the change 'for going'.

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

i would never put her in prison

Actually can't stop laughing at this! Op is utterly ridiculous but providing a good laugh for this time of the morning 😏 :o

[OohMavis]

I actually think yanbu.

You offered to cover petrol, which would have cost £20. She said no thanks, grab me some tobacco instead. I'd have thought to the same value of the petrol, so £20 worth of tobacco.

You got there, the tobacco was double the price of the amount you had in your head to pay her back, you'd have had to spend it on your card so would incur fees and you didn't have the full amount in cash anyway, so you got something that matched it.

Maybe it would have been better if you'd have come home empty-handed and given her the £20 (what I would have done), BUT the rude one in this scenario was your friend, who let it be known she was unhappy with what you gave her, surely? Even if you're a bit disappointed and , you say thank you, don't you? You don't have a face like thunder and mumble about tobacco like a spoilt child.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

You do not get to tell me what to do with my cat and i would never put her in prison just because i want to go away.

😂😂😂

Do you know what a cattery is?!

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

Is this the picture in the cattery brochure OP?!

[icelollycraving]

Sorry op but that has really made me laugh.

[MartinaJ]

Two cats here so I know the cattery costs only too well. I'd pay €55 to my friend who'd look after them without even thinking. A mascara is a bit of an afterthought present so I'd be peeved off too.

[RidersOnTheStorm]

So funny!

[MartinaJ]

You do not get to tell me what to do with my cat and i would never put her in prison just because i want to go away.

This actually made me laugh. Ever been to a proper cattery? Even my two fiercely independent two indoor/outdoor cats don't suffer in a cattery. A well run cattery ensures that cats have enough play time, cuddles, food etc. My cats even managed to catch a mouse and proudly presented it to the cattery owner once.
You were stingy and your indignant reaction is almost funny. Grow up. She asked you to do a favour for her, you didn't because you didn't want to spend the money. We told you that, you don't like it, fair enough. Let's move on.

[Fedup21]

MAC do not test on animals which is why i use it.

Yes, MAC is so principled that when China demand animal testing on products to be sold there-they give in and start animal testing. Rather than...oh, you know...something principled like NOT selling MAC in China.

A prison, OP?!!

Perhaps you'd better stop being so tight-fisted with your friends or else the 'prison' might be your only option.

[BipBippadotta]

OP, I think the point people are making is that she did you a big favour and saved you a lot of money in catsitting fees (£20 per visit where I live). You offered a favour in return and then couldn't be bothered to follow through.

I think the point is not that your friend would say 'I won't look after your cat because you didn't get me tobacco'. It's more likely that your friend might think, 'I'm done putting myself out for someone who takes me for granted'.

You asked people's opinions. You got them.

And if you can't text from Spain you need to sort your phone contract.