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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents should pick up after their kids who make mess in restaurants

344 replies

LifeofI · 28/02/2016 19:17

Do you think so?

I was in a restaurant today with my friend and her two year old, her child always eats about 4 chips then the rest she just throws the food around. When we were leaving a lady made a comment "aren't you going to clean that up" my friend didn't hear but i did and said no and she just tutted.

When i got home me and my partner had a discussion and he thinks the parents should clean up after their child as he has work as a waiter and said it is annoying but i'm on the fence about it. We have a very young baby who hasn't started eating solids so we are not at that stage.

What do you think?

OP posts:
witsender · 28/02/2016 19:57

Your first post sounded as if you thought it was an odd question for her to ask, as if tidying up was a novel concept. And it must have been quite a mess for a stranger to comment.

kawliga · 28/02/2016 19:57

Looks like there are some people who believe cleaning up after themselves is optional. I would automatically pick up something I dropped, and raise dd the same way. I think most people do! Leaving litter behind you when you move off is disgusting and anti-social. Look around you. You will notice that most people do pick up after themselves, regardless of where they are. Obviously not crumbs from the toast or a pea off your Sunday lunch, but if your baby dropped her chips on the floor those are really easy to pick up.

Now I understand why some people leave their seat in the bus/train/plane like a disaster zone. Rubbish everywhere. They think staff will come and clean up after them.

CooPie10 · 28/02/2016 19:57

Funny you should mention 'common sense' when you are asking this question Hmm

Original poster
LifeofI · 28/02/2016 19:57

math, tbh i dont know why she does because her child never eats but she always orders her own food. I dont know why she doesnt just share her food.
I dont like to question peoples parenting though so I'm not going to say anything.

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 28/02/2016 19:57

This thread has made me realise I didn't clean up after DS at the pub this afternoon Blush I usually ALWAYS do! DS was on the brink of a huge meltdown so we left in a hurry, the rest of the family stayed and did clear up though. So onlookers were probably judging me as I left the mess behind. Was totally distracted.

I usually always do though! I feel bad now.

Having said that, when I waitressed I never raised an eyebrow at having to clear up after customers though.

shazzarooney99 · 28/02/2016 19:58

Of course you should clean up after your own child, how selfish!

Littlecaf · 28/02/2016 19:58

Oh gosh, I don't clear up! It's one of the best things about eating out with a 1yo, you don't have to wipe the floor/wall/high chair after!

Having said that, I do try to take food for him that it's spoon fed rather than finger food. He can have some of mine if he wants to pick something up. So in general the mess is minimal.

Original poster
LifeofI · 28/02/2016 19:59

coopie yes it is funny to ask opinions on a public forum for opinions.
Funny you should mention "common sense" when asking a question like that. Hmm

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 28/02/2016 19:59

I don't think children who throw food around should be in restaurants till they learn not to do this. Fair enough the odd thing dropped but throwing food. Not on.

CooPie10 · 28/02/2016 19:59

Asking whether to pick up after your child? Okaaay.

Maro11 · 28/02/2016 20:00

I am surprised that the majority of posters say that they would/do clean up, what a lovely bunch you are but you don't come in my restaurant. I work in the hospitality industry and in my experience the majority are happy to walk away and leave a trail of devastation in their wake, just today I watched a mum peel a satsuma onto the floor, feed it to her toddler then get up and walk out, the people at the next table were Shock

bakingaddict · 28/02/2016 20:00

I'm normally a reasonable person but if some random stranger ordered me to do something or had a go at me then my natural inclination would be to say no or mind your own business so I don't think the OP is being an arse which is a bit ungracious and exactly the sort of bad manners your berating the OP for having

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/02/2016 20:01

"her child always eats about 4 chips then the rest she just throws the food around"
Why is the child allowed to throw food around? Why does your friend not just move the plate out of reach if the child has finished eating and is doing that? That way, there isn't much mess to clear up?

I took DS to restaurants when he was young partly to teach him restaurant manners (e.g. food is not for throwing).

alltouchedout · 28/02/2016 20:01

Of course you should. It's fucking rude not to.

HanYOLO · 28/02/2016 20:01

Mess made in the normal course of eating - staff can cope with that
Mess made by "throwing chips around" - ideally they would stop that happening in the first place, being the parent in the situation....but if not, then yes, they should clear up, and be apologetic about it too, frankly

Original poster
LifeofI · 28/02/2016 20:01

Witsender,
There were crayons left, sauce on the drawing and some chips on the table not anything on the floor. We were sitting in a booth.

OP posts:
StarlingMurmuration · 28/02/2016 20:02

DS (15 months) often drops a lot of food on the floor, I pick it up using baby wipes. It's gross to leave it for someone else.

MrTiddlestheFatCat · 28/02/2016 20:02

I'm with Maro on this one. Brief spell working in a children's soft play centre with a cafe revealed this to me.

I spent more hours that I care to count scraping crushed chips out of the carpet. I know its a bit different to a restaurant, but it really was a disgrace. People eating their picnics and leaving all their rubbish behind on the Cafe tables used to really annoy me too.

DaisyDando · 28/02/2016 20:03

I've fed DS in restaurants since he began weaning and the mess could be pretty awful. It's slightly better now he's one, but I don't get the people saying their children were taught not to drop food. At 6 months? Really?
Anyway, I've always picked up his mess the best I can and have found a few extra bits of food whilst scrabbling around on occasion from past throwers.
The number of times I've been told not to bother is extremely low. But then, I don't make a big fuss about cleaning up, I just quietly do it.
It's mostly food not even bought from the venue, bit of a cheek to leave it all over the floor.

BathshebaDarkstone · 28/02/2016 20:03

I do my best with bad hips, but I usually get told by kind staff to leave it.

MrsMook · 28/02/2016 20:03

I clear up my after my children so there's not a significant difference to the normal amount of clear up.

Where self-tidying is required, I encourage my children to put the rubbish in the bin to set good habits. Cleaning staff have made positive comments as many adults don't, and they've found it refreshing to see it from children.

AStreetcarNamedBob · 28/02/2016 20:04

Oh my goodness!! YES of course you should!

If your child dropped litter would you pick it up? Or think oh well there is probably a litter picker employed by the council who will be along soon.

I would be mortified to walk out and leave a mess at the table I always tidy it up

needastrongone · 28/02/2016 20:05

But you aren't really taking on board the majority of opinion are you OP? And seem a touch defensive if you don't mind me saying?

Yes, I would clear up. I try to do so as much as I can. I would stack my pots onto a tray or whatever in a cafe too. My teenage DC do the same, and push their chair in after they have finished. Manners and respect cost nothing, but show a lot.

redexpat · 28/02/2016 20:05

In defence of the OP I wouldn't clear up after someone else's child.

I usually get the worst from the floor. DD doesn't throw her food but she does drop quite a lot.

camelfinger · 28/02/2016 20:07

I would always clean up, it's often a disgrace when we've finished. That said, a punter was waiting for my table at the cafe today and was a bit peeved when I started picking bits off the floor (wasn't too bad) and told me to leave it to the cleaning staff. So whatever you do you're guaranteed to annoy someone.