Parents should pick up after their kids who make mess in restaurants

[LifeofI]

Do you think so?

I was in a restaurant today with my friend and her two year old, her child always eats about 4 chips then the rest she just throws the food around. When we were leaving a lady made a comment "aren't you going to clean that up" my friend didn't hear but i did and said no and she just tutted.

When i got home me and my partner had a discussion and he thinks the parents should clean up after their child as he has work as a waiter and said it is annoying but i'm on the fence about it. We have a very young baby who hasn't started eating solids so we are not at that stage.

What do you think?

of fucking COURSE! my friends laugh at me but its so disrespectful to not

Yeah, this is the reason why I don't work in restaurants anymore. People leave their chilren to make a huge digusting mess, and then when the next family come along they are forced to wait at the door while I get on my hands and knees and clean it all up before they can sit down.

I have since avoided any customer-facing role like the PLAGUE.

If your friend knows her child only eats about four chips then starts throwing them around, why the hell did she give the kid more than four?

Yes you/she should pick up the mess. You are paying for the meal not slave labour.

I always cleaned up after mine but tbh they were just not that messy. I was in a pub recently and a family of four were eating, not all babies either and the state of the table, floor and chairs when they got up to leave was a disgrace, I have no idea how 4 people could a) make that much mess in the first place and b) have the nerve to just walk away and leave it, several other people looked horror struck too. I am especially amazed at the total devastation some people leave behind on air flights as I walk down the aisle to leave, rubbish strewn about, blankets and pillows dumped on the floor, rubbish, food, sweets and wrappers, crumpled newspapers, there really is no need for it. How hard is it to put the rubbish in the bag when the attendant comes round for it, and to put blankets and pillows onto the seats.

Have you changed your opinion/sitting on the fence stance now?

To go against the grain a little I'd find it rather odd to see a parent on their hands and knees under a table in a restaurant.... Surely the staff have access to dustpans, brushes, etc? In a cafe where it's more casual yes maybe that's fine. But otherwise I think it's odd behaviour. If my child had made a real mess I'd tidy up the table somewhat so it wasn't an absolute disaster, and I would acknowledge anything else under the table and apologise to the staff and tip generously. When I go out for dinner I don't want to see people rummaging around on the floor particularly!

It depends - if you child has thrown food or rubbish on the floor then it's appropriate to lift up the big chunks before you leave. A tip really doesn't cut it - it's like saying 'here, clear up my mess, and don't complain because I have left you money which means I can leave it as I choose'. If your child can't be trusted not to throw food - and you can't be trusted not to take food away from a child that throws it or pick up - then you shouldn't be eating in restaurants. Throwing food and leaving a mess is far more offensive to watch than a parent doing their best to tidy up after their child.

I don't see how a parent cleaning up after their child is odd!

Generally big chucks of foods are easier to pick up by hand than to brush up anyway, especially on a carpeted floor.

I think it's pretty horrible to leave the place filthy after a meal, and rude to the staff. Used serviettes, crumbs, a drop of spilled drink, yes - that's a normal used table, but extensive food on the floor, smearing and spilling is not. My child has never been a particularly messy eater but on some occasions we've had a disaster, in which case I have always alerted a staff member to what's happened and apologised. They are equipped with brushes and dustpans etc, and generally wouldn't expect you to go down and clean the floor with your hands. But I wouldn't just walk off and leave it, that's rude.

Yes I would always clear up as much as possible. I do think its terrible to leave a complete mess on table and floor for someone else to clear up.

Dp thinks I'm mad but I always tidy up after my kids. I have actually had a polite moan in a cafe we go to regularly that they need to put a bin out so we can clear tables when we leave - not dishes but the wrappers and napkins etc. I will condense everything on to a tray at the very least I can't bear leaving a mess. I don't feel the wait staff should have to do more than remove the dishes and wipe and relay the table - that's all

I take twins out and have always cleaned up.So disrespectful not to. It is disgusting how some parents leave the Highchairs never mind the floors! Take toys for the baby don't let him / her throw food

Personally, I clear up a bit obsessively after my children.
But I am constantly surprised by how other people notice/ pay attemtion to/ judge other diners pretty much only those with children in restaurants.
Crawling around on one's hands and knees is required to clear debris as a diner, wheras a quick sweep with a long handled dustpan and brush can be done more efficiently by a member of staff.
I am not bothered by clearing other people's mess. I don't really get the outrage in this area. If I start noticing who has dropped what when I am out to eat I should probably be concentrating on my own meal/ company.

No

I would pick up big bits off the floor and do what I could, within reason. It really depends on the place. Quite often I've been told to leave it by someone hovering with a dustpan and brush. I think in most cases it IS their job to clean up. My DC wouldn't throw food on the floor, but they are messy eaters.

Clean your mess up. It's just good manners. There's a difference between staff and slaves.

It's a wonder any of you go out for meals at all.

Do you want to cook it as well?

As someone who used to work in a restaurant, I can only say, more fool you if you think part of being in a resultant is picking food up from the floor... And paying for the pleasure of it.

Remember you're not trained to do it and the buss boys and wait staff have all the equipment, training, and insurance!

You need to up your game and leave big tips and let the restaurant staff do their work.
Please enjoy your meals out, pay and tip. That's the agreement isn't it!?

No need to think you're being rude, if your kid drops food. Please don't go under the tables to pick things up- you can injure yourself, and the buss boys and wait staff have to do it anyway to be hygienic.

They whole area after a table has left has to be cleaned anyway, don't bother to do any of it- you're actually delaying the table turn over and you're getting in the way.

Come on, leave it to the professionals- and pay them for the service. Tip your wait staff properly and don't crawl around in everyone's way. Restaurants are working environments and busy- just stand up, tip and leave.

You don't get any extra brownie points by doing someone else's job.
Just like you don't get any gold stars from your midwife by not cleaning up your poo during childbirth. Leave it to the professionals and don't forget to tip.

I know I haven't RTFT and I know what MN is like, people so anxious to be the biggest virtue signaler.

What I do in my head: Clear up after DD.

What actually happens: I offer to clear up, get told not to by the lovely staff and leave an enormous tip. 20% is standard for 'dealing with my child'. 25% for 'above and beyond' when she's made a mess (rare now because she's older) or they are particularly sweet to her. Our local restaurant fights over us now.

And, I've broken DH of his habit of stacking dishes. It's irritating to the diners. The waiting staff have to act grateful. Even though I know they'd rather choose how to stack themselves.

Hilarious virtue signalling on this thread! " I never leave the house without a mop and bucket" "i clean hotel rooms" "I stack not just my own plates but all the other customers too" brigade. Well done you!

OMG most people were raised to pick up after themselves. They don't do it to get brownie points from the restaurant staff. If you work in a restaurant and you get annoyed when people walk off having left the table reasonably tidy behind them, because you think they're virtue signalling and trying to win your approval, I'm afraid it's really not about you.

I was once told off by an angry air hostess because I cleared dd's tray table, stacked her tray onto mine, and thus left dd with a clean tray table to continue her flight without a pile of whatnot in front of her face waiting for the hostess to go on her clean-up rounds that the hostess felt she's the only person with permission to do. When she came round for dd's tray and found it was already cleared and stacked on my tray she was furious! She had a right go at me and said I must NEVER stack trays because it's inconvenient for her as she now has to unstack the two trays (TWO! It's not like I had stacked 5 million trays and presented her with them with an evil grin). It wasn't about making her life impossible or slowing her down by stacking two fecking plastic trays, it was about making the flight comfortable for my child. Sitting in filth is not comfortable. Leaving filth in your wake behind you as you move off is disgusting. I will absolutely clean up after myself.

I actually complained about her for scolding me. I thought she was rude. Probably she has a go at passengers because she thinks if they all stack their trays it will slow her down on her rounds, as she has to unstack them. Maybe soon they will be announcing on flights that passengers are NOT ALLOWED to tidy up their tray tables, the children must sit and stare at piles of uneaten food until the authorized stewardess comes to take it away.

Can't believe we now have to fight for the right to clean up after ourselves.

Blimey, so many people saying they always clear up. Not in my experience. I have a light lunch out every Saturday and Sunday and I would say 80% of parents just leave the mess behind them.

Kawlinga - I so agree with you. What is wrong with air crew these days. I was offered a role with BA as a air hostess many many years ago. My mother wasn't keen as it would mean moving away and she didn't want to lose the rent money (we didn't have huge amounts but definitely not in the gutters). So, I turned it down. Looking at what their role is now I don't have any regrets. They go around collecting other people's rubbish and ignoring the call buttons as though its all beneath them. I agree as well, its vile food and so plastic so I never bother to have it.

When you get off on a long haul flight and you have to walk through the whole of the cabin - have you seen the mess people leave around their seat (business class, economy, its all the same).

People - you are sitting in that mess for hours on end. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

Kawliga

I'd have cleared away your tray table and said thank you.

How rude

Wow kawliga - you weren't on North Worst West airlines were you? Rudest cabin staff I've ever come across, they were!

I always end up stacking mine and DSs' trays on one table (mine) so that they can go back to doing what they were doing - no one has ever complained at me so far!

That's right terry, leave the mess to those trained and paid to look after it!

I never "clean before the cleaner" as during college I worked as a maid also, and I know when you're trained to clean, feeble, half hearted, inept attempts by clients are super irratating and give more work actually, as everything has to be done over.
Also it's awkward and rude to ignore their protests.... "I did that already"! Yeah, with a sack over your eyes!

Why not enjoy your meal and pay the professionals to do their jobs?

You don't get any thanks for plate stacking or ducking and weaving out of your seat under the table in a busy restaurant from me.

Why not just tip the wait staff, and let them do their work?
Relax and enjoy your meal! All kids drop food. I hated to see uptight patrons fussing guiltily about.
You're supposed to having a meal out.... a treat.

If you want your table cleaned up in the middle of your meal, ask the wait person to sort it out, and don't forget to tip.

Why keep a dog and bark yourself?