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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my sister has lost the plot and not know how to respond ?

115 replies

Arrowfanatic · 28/02/2016 17:14

She says I'm copying her and I'm jealous of her life (I'm a couple of years older than her) because she has 3 children and I have 3 children.

I am Confused at this because my eldest is 6 months older than hers, my middle is 3 months older than hers and my youngest is starting school soon but she's still pregnant with her third.

She's posting all over fb about me copying her family and I don't know how the heck I am meant to respond to it?? Aside from 3 kids we really have zero in common anyway but I'm fed up of being slated publicly by her and her friends (who btw I have never met). I'm almost 40 years old, this seems mental.

OP posts:
StrictlyMumDancing · 28/02/2016 18:00

Are you close to your parents? I did very subtly mention to mine last time that I was genuinely worried about my sister. It did provoke a big conversation between DM and her which, whilst it didn't repair our relationship, meant I got a few answers. In my case it was because sister felt I was living the life she 'deserved' and felt it was unfair. Hmm like you I'm the nerdy quieter one and she was always the more popular bully type.

Haudyerwheesht · 28/02/2016 18:01

My sister is a bit like this because we have 2 kids and a boy then a girl. Tbf her kids are older BUT I didn't really have any control over the sex of my kids!!

gatewalker · 28/02/2016 18:01

She's projecting, Arrowfanatic. As soon as you're aware of this, then it's easier to see that it is absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your sister, who is essentially telling the truth about herself through you. But that truth is too difficult for her to admit to and deal with directly, so she is throwing it out on to you. If you walk away, you can no longer be a mirror for her delusions.

MrsFrankRicard · 28/02/2016 18:01

She sounds totally unhinged. I would probably have posted something like what are you even talking about :-S on her wall, but blocking her probably is the right answer as if she is that much of a dick then you can't reason with her.

Damselindestress · 28/02/2016 18:03

Just block and ignore her and her friends. Responding, even though you are right, would only fuel the fire. You can't reason with someone who isn't thinking rationally. Distance yourself from her drama. Anyone who knows you both will realise that your children are older so you clearly didn't copy her and who cares what anyone who doesn't even know you thinks?

Her behaviour is bizarre, even if your children weren't older it would still be ridiculous for her to claim that you copied her, as if you can't just decide to have three children because it works for your family too! As if she invented and patented the idea!

Original poster
Arrowfanatic · 28/02/2016 18:03

Seriously I can't think of anything I've done to prompt it. My life is pretty run of the mill. If I see my mum I'll say to her about it, maybe she can get to the bottom of it.

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 28/02/2016 18:11

Honestly, she sounds like people I have run across who genuinely can't stand that they have siblings, especially successful/happy/breathing siblings, and that they themselves aren't the centre of attention at all times. So they constantly snipe at and bad mouth their siblings who haven't done anything.

Defriending her was the sane thing to do. I would just refuse to engage.

Diggum · 28/02/2016 18:14

Honestly, she sounds hypomanic. I'd be worried about her if this has come out of the blue. Don't engage but maybe flag it with your mum and possibly ask her to have a word with your DBIL in case there's more going on here than childish ridiculousness.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 28/02/2016 18:18

I think you've done the right thing u friending her on fb. She's being a total bitch to you.

Original poster
Arrowfanatic · 28/02/2016 18:18

Yeah, I'll speak to my mum. She does tend to have an "that's just your sisters way" attitude about this sort of stuff though as my sisters nature is to be a bully and always has been. But she equally is the only one who can really talk to my sister and vaguely get through.

You've got me thinking though that maybe she is having some jealously towards me abut something and so turning it on me. I guess if the table were turned there has been a couple of things we've had happen that "could" make her jealous????

OP posts:
voddiekeepsmesane · 28/02/2016 18:20

people like this need to be put in their place. I would go with ...if I was copying her then my children wouldn't be older every time dear sis has hers would they!!??

Sister or not she is completely out of order and I would have no problems going NC (have done) just because they are blood does not mean you have to put up with shit

AcrossthePond55 · 28/02/2016 18:23

"Oh Sis, bless your heart, I'm so sorry you're feeling so insecure. Just want you to know I'm praying for you". Then block the bitch.

Too PA?

tomatodizzy · 28/02/2016 18:30

I haven't put anything on her fb as whenever I do comment her little "crew" all come on to slate me. They're grown adults!!

🙈🙉🙊 and ignore them. My SIL is very very jealous of my DH. She doesn't really use fb and has few friends but she loses the plot at family get togethers. We just ignore her outbursts now.

Gobbolino6 · 28/02/2016 18:31

It sounds like she's the jealous one here. I'd like to think I wouldn't rise to it but im pretty sure I'd go with var's response. .

YakTriangle · 28/02/2016 18:31

Isn't it sad when people have so little to think about that they start inventing arguments that never happened, and then post deliberately provocative nonsense on FB about it? I have a relative just like this, I just assume she's barking and move on.

SanityClause · 28/02/2016 18:36

Across, I love that "bless your heart" thing that grand American ladies do.

I really want to adopt it, but it would sound silly with my English-over-Australian accent.

CrazyDuchess · 28/02/2016 18:49

Block and ignore... you will feel SO.MUCH.BETTER

Sis has clearly lost the plot and trying to start a fight with you. Best response is no response

SoThatHappened · 28/02/2016 18:49

The only thing I can think of to justify her nuttiness is that maybe she thinks you knew she was trying or wanted kids and you had to get in first and get pregnant first to copy her.

But that is utterly ludicrous. It may work as a crazy reason for the first two. Only 6 months then 3 months diffference in ages tells me you were trying at the same time. But with the last one there is several years difference.

I honestly would just cut her off.

CauliflowerBalti · 28/02/2016 18:59

Bonkers. Defriend her.

ricketytickety · 28/02/2016 19:09

You say she's popular but if I saw someone post that I'd think 'wow, she's shown a nasty side. I'll avoid in future.' These 'friends' are probably scared of her. It also smacks of her being jealous of you. Something good has happened for you and she's lost it. I'm afraid no-contact is your way forward. Any fb rantings always reflect badly on the ranter, despite people 'liking' or commenting, inside it will just make them even more wary of her.

SharkSkinThing · 28/02/2016 19:13

Lots of wise advice!

What things do you think have perhaps triggered her jealously?

Spandexpants007 · 28/02/2016 19:21

.

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/02/2016 19:22

Have a fourth. That'll fox her.

HortonWho · 28/02/2016 19:32

I love the PP "no audience, no performance."

I'd be tempted to text her that after I blocked her and any of her friends from my FB

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 28/02/2016 19:33

Excellent plan fluffy, twins!

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