AIBU to change DS's room a bit, remove posters, add some nice bits? To make it nice for visitors.

[BlueEyesAndDarkChocolate]

I really thought this would be ok. But my DD (age 17), thinks not!

So, my DS left home last September, for Uni. He is only 30 mins away by train, perhaps 40 mins by car, but nonetheless, he decided to stay in Halls, which I totally agree with. He has made some lovely friends and is having the time of his life. He does not come home at weekends, he is too busy partying! He went back to Uni after Christmas, and I haven't seen him since, (although we text daily). He and 4 friends will move in to a rented flat this July. Deposit has been paid, contract signed etc. So, I know he won't be coming home to live any time soon! I suspect never, it's a 5 year course and he wants to be in the thick of things rather than commute.

So, I thought I would remove the truly awful posters from his room, and put a nice picture up in their place. I wouldn't throw the posters away, just roll them up, in case he wants them later (he won't, imo). I thought I would also add a few niceties, like candles and stuff. Basically, to make it a nice guest room for visitors. My Sister, her DH and their 2 year old are coming in March for a weekend, and I think it would be nice to make the room more homely and remove the very scary skull posters, that would most likely freak out the 2 year old. My parents are coming in May.

DD says that if I change the room, DS might not want to come home. But the thing is, he doesn't come home! I texted him the other day asking when he might visit was secretly hoping he'd say he would visit me on Mothers Day and his reply, was that he had "no idea", and that he'd "not given it any thought, as he was having so much fun".

Surely to goodness, I don't have to keep his room "as is"? I should also say that this isn't his room since he was little. We moved in to this house when he was 16.

I wasn't denying their feelings, SDTG I was deriding them.

That said, I believe it was more likely to be inappropriate use of the word "devastated" rather than actual devastation. The word is over-used, as is "awesome". Where do you go to describe real depth of feeling when all the powerful vocabulary has already been applied to trivia?

Deriding people's feelings? Nice.

Agree with some PP.
I would ask him if that's OK to do a bit of reorganising/decorating so you can use the room as a guest room.
And I would insist that will still be his room of course.

Is there no compromise?! I don't know about your DS but when I went to uni I certainly didn't completely clear all the crap from my bedroom - there was stuff all over the place. But there's nothing to stop you putting it 'away' (clear storage containers under the bed?) condensing clothes that have been left behind into two drawers, leaving two for guests, etc.

You could also frame his posters like a PP said - not only does it look a bit smarter but it means you could switch them out for framed prints when people come over, just store the one you're not using in the wardrobe or similar.

Different bed linen, tidy bedroom (no clutter), vase of flowers on the drawers and nice pics on the walls = instant spare room. His stuff all over the sides, pics on the walls and his chosen bed linen - still his bedroom when he's around to use it.

YANBU. Just dont throw away all his 200AD comics numbers one to 60. They'll be worth a fortune in 20 years time and he'll never forgive you .

DS is just relieved that dd2 changed her mind about her plan to move into his room the second he was out the door
His happens to be the biggest room out of my 3 dcs' rooms - she is in the smallest. I absolutely said she could, and he (who has had the big room for the 11 yrs we've lived here) can have a turn at having the smallest. As it turns out, it was "too much hassle" when it came to the reality of sorting and moving all her junk stuff, so she never bothered, but no-one needs to get that possessive over 'a room'.