to say don't go and get signed off with stress

[writingonthewall]

I see this all the time on MN

OP: there's been a death in the family, I'm doing fine but need time off work to organise the funeral/comfort DH. work will only give me 3 days compassionate leave, after that I have to take holiday or unpaid leave

everyone else: go to your GP and get signed off with stress.

before I get flamed, I am a GP and I fully understand that bereavement hits different people in different ways. I sometimes do sign people off work after a bereavement - if you can't stand up for crying, then you can't work. And whilst there is no hierarchy of grief, as a general rule losing a child is very very traumatic whilst losing a parent is something that you do expect to happen at some point. So no problems with signing certificates for genuine mental health problems post bereavement.

What I do object to is this "get signed off with stress" when you aren't ill.

Do people not realise that, firstly, you are asking the GP to commit fraud. Secondly general practice is buckling. We are under resourced (all practices in one area I know are about to lose 20-25% of their funding) and even if we had the money, there are no GPs to recruit. And it's going to get worse if the new juniors contract doesn't get sorted out.

Every appointment taken up with a medicalisation of normal life, is an appointment that someone who is ill can't have and a potential delay in the diagnosis of someone else's cancer or other serious condition.

so please. see your GP if you are ill - physically or mentally. But think before you do and don't involve us in your battles with your employer and your general normal life events. Being sad after a bereavement is normal. The treatment is to talk about the person you have lost, cry a bit, and take care of yourself. It isn't to rush to the doctor for a medical cure.

I agree entirely with the OP.
These days it seems that the answer to any of life's problems is either see the GP or call the police.
And then when you can't get a GP appointment or a police response there are bitter complaints.
We have a wonderful local surgery with very caring staff, but I can see they are seriously overworked.

I understand the OPs point. Sick notes are for people when they are medically unable to work - not because they need some more time off to organise a funeral, or because they are sad and grieving. That is NORMAL. Sort it out with your employer, not via your health provider.

There has been a creeping rise in the medicalisation of Life over the years.

Got a shit job? See your GP.

Social housing allocation not big enough? See your GP.

Want to join a gym and walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes? See your GP.

Fed up because your boyfriend's a twat and you don't know what to do? See your GP.

It cannot be sustained.

Yanbu.
People also frequently advise ringing the police for things that are not crimes. Sometimes to 'log it' like the Police are some kind of diary

Also, if you don't think they need a sick note, don't produce one. Or am I being over simplistic?

oh indeed, and I don't

but I can't magic back the appointment that has been wasted. And over 80% of the complaints that I get are for sick note reasons. My favourite was for a day case surgery that usually needs 1-2 days off work - a week at a push. The woman had booked a six week cruise and wanted sick leave to cover it. wrote a three page letter to complain - which we have to take seriously

I am heartened by how many people agree with me!

MrsdeVere most of the people I sign off longer term after bereavements are those who have lost a child.

for MrsDeVere and all the others who have suffered heartbreaking loss.

So the performance measures put in place by trusts put pressure on gps to go along with the patient, or they will not get their funding allocation. More stick for the gov to beat the nhs with.

Get angry with the system, op.

Sidge yes, a poster today is knackered with new baby and emotionally and financially abusive partner 'see your gp' was some of the advice. Not a medical problem! GP can't prescribe ditching a twatty partner.

My BIL is a GP. He has tons of experience in paediatrics.

Anyway, my sister had a baby with reflux and my BIL visited one night when the crying/roaring was going on. He kept saying "what the hell is wrong with him, why is it so loud" etc. and eventually had to leave because he actually couldn't cope with the screaming baby.

We laughed so much afterwards because he had given so many parents advice about reflux over the years, but had never actually experienced how awful it was himself.

I know you have experienced grief OP, I absolutely understand where you are coming from and I do agree with you, but all I am saying is sometimes the same situation can cause different reactions in people. Maybe you have handled your bereavements very differently, do you think because you are GP, that you are used to dealing with deaths and maybe were able to accept and handle them a bit easier? Sorry if I am totally wrong, because I frequently am!

I have huge respect for you and your profession, it must be a very difficult job. I love my GP and think he is the bees knees.

But it's not the general public's fault general practice is buckling.

It is part of the problem, ricketytickety. The general public (which I know is not a homogenous mass) puts undue pressure on primary care. Many many people take no responsibility for their own health, and expect a GP appointment instantly for every cough, cold, headache and sore throat the day it appears.

This thread is vile.

I was once offered time off for stress by GP

I turned it down as there is a huge stigma and I was ashamed

OP its a teensy buit unprofessional to rant like this online, I expected better from a GP!

'BUT there is very little provision for people who are bereaved. There are no benefits or special leave (barring short and discretionary compassionate leave)'

This x 1000.

If the complaints aren't upheld, can they still count re. your funding? That's a sad situation. No wonder you're frustrated by it.

'OP its a teensy buit unprofessional to rant like this online, I expected better from a GP!'

O, c'mon! Others have written and published entire books that are rants about their jobs. Doctors are people, not saints.

The problem is that there isn't a nationwide policy on compassionate leave. Don't blame people who genuinely need time off work for using the only option available to them to get it.

I'm one of those people that was only given three days leave after a bereavment and that was after losing my beloved husband with absolutely no warning whatsoever. I know you said you've granted sick notes for certain situations, I assume mine would be one of them if you were my GP, but there would have been very little time taken up needlessly. It was all sorted over the phone, so I don't really understand why you're choosing to use bereavement to make what could have been a valid point.

Looking back I do not know how I managed to work so close to losing DD. I think it absolutely interfered with grieving and compounded the PTSD that took ten years to resolve

Yes, yes. I think this likely very common mrsdevere

I also meant to add, that I actually agree with a lot of what you are saying and maybe it would be an idea to have "unpaid bereavement leave" available to people, rather than expecting the employee and the GP to produce a sick note when the person is not actually sick, but grieving.

Even a week or two of this might be helpful to employees, and if the person genuinely needs a GP after this time, then they could go to see the doctor then.

I'm not sure what your point is now. Seems to have changed. That people come in and waste your time with idiotic reasons for wanting time off work? Most people could sympathise with you for that being very irksome.

But as I said if someone's been bereaved and needs a sick note for some time off work, I don't know why comparing it only to your personal experience of grief is relevant.

Many people do sidge, but probably a small minority of the population. Used by the gov to explain an overloaded nhs they want to break.

stopfuckingshouting I was given a sick note for 6weeks for stress-I didn't go to the doctor about the incident at work, a routine appointment just happened to be booked for the day after.

I never used the note, but carried it about in my handbag like a little comfort blanket. Like you I was concerned about having it on my sickness record -which is awful isn't it, although this was over 25 years ago so maybe I would feel differently now.

Actually if someone is suffering abuse at the hands of a partner a GP visit is often necessary to have an official record in case of needing legal aid.