To want a clean house and a baby?

[princesspineapple]

I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby... And a bit houseproud. Is it possible to keep your house nice when you have a baby?
Our house was always a bombsite when I was growing up... My DM is one of these "love me, love my mess" types... And I've always hated that attitude.
I've spent the first week of my maternity leave nesting, and my house is sparkling (and a bit bleachy )... My friend came over yesterday and was laughing about how it will look like a Chinese laundry / graveyard for brightly coloured plastic crap within a fortnight, and I'll forget what flash wipes are even for.
My MIL and colleagues have a similar view and I even got a little "please excuse the mess, my children are making memories" sign when I left work. I hate it!
AIBU to think it's lazy? Or AIB a dreamer? Or what tips do people have for keeping a clean house and a baby?

Completely depends on what kind of baby you have! If my daughter had come first, yes, I would've done no problems, she's aways napped well, gone to bed well, slept through early etc (textbook heaven baby), but my son came first....dear God...ALL normal life was impossible for the first 2 years of his hyper, angry, tantrumming life, cat napped for minutes, breastfed constantly, didn't sleep through the night for many many months, needed constant interaction and attention and input...sooooo much easier now, but yeah, TOTALLY depends on the baby and its temprement.

I was far too busy watching DVDs box sets, BF, going for long walks and relaxing with my new baby to give any fucks about housework.

But whatever floats your boat. It's certainly not compulsory.

I don't think YABU if that is what is important to you, but having worked with quite a few children who got very anxious when they got dirty or when they accidentally made a mess because they thought their parents would get mad- can I please just ask you to consider letting your child have regular times when she can just make a mess with free abandon. Being able to jump in a puddle or get finger paint right up to your elbows because you are enjoying the feel of it, are fantastic experiences, but they also let a child know she is free to explore to make mistakes & not feel like she needs to 'cry over spilt milk'. It makes for resilient children.

Absolutely teach her to look after her things & help tidy up, most children enjoy helping to clean if it's a fun part of the family routine, but they are quick to absorb any anxiety about cleanliness & it really can cause issues with their play/learning if they take it too much onboard.

It's perfectly easy, I have a reasonably large house and managed to keep it immaculate , husband works away a month at a time. You can clean when baby sleeps

Yeah your shattered but it's about priorities and to me a clean house is a priority

Now son is 17 months and I clean once he goes to bed every night for 1-2 hours I'm also pregnant and working p/t, with no help

It can be hard at time but like anything you just manage.

Hi. I am a messy type and have three kids, the middle one doesn't sleep, the other two are easy. Insisting on a clean house would have killed me. If it's very important to you, you might want to think about getting a cleaner just in case you have a baby like my DS2. Even doing night on night off with my husband we are still shattered, and there's work and two other kids that take priority over a tidy house(although my DH is a cleaning champion who has done the bathrooms, kitchen and hoovered this morning already - he has many faults but this is not one)

Oh Spudlet you just concentrate on getting better. Lots of time for housework when you feel well. I actually believe that in the early days sleeping when the baby sleeps is good advice. I had a jointly owned business and tried to do my bit while baby was sleeping instead of having some rest. I ended up with PND and cannot remember a few months of my son's early life . Everyone copes differently just don't put yourself under pressure.

Just saw the time after I wrote my last post. We have been up since 5 - this could be your future OP.

Cleaning is good but go easy on bleach, flash, air fresheners etc - chemicals are strongly linked to asthma and allergies especially with babies who are closer to the surfaces and put things in their mouth. We mainly use the natural cleaners now, baking soda, vinegar, ecover products. Works surprisingly well without the nasty stuff

Haven't everyone's responses but it sounds like you are by nature someone who is organised and likes a clean house so I don't see why you shouldn't be able to continue.

I found the most annoying things about having a newborn was all the laundry. Didn't have a dryer for each of my babies, so there was always babygros drying on the radiator or a rack of baby-related paraphernalia. But it was fairly tidy and all the clothes got folded away once they were dry to be replaced by the next lot so it doesn't have to be too messy.

I also used the dining room table as a day-time change station because it was easier to keep an eye on my toddler. All the nappies, creams etc were kept in an Ikea small storage box and I used to put it behind the door if anyone was coming.

Will you have help in the early days? With my first baby my mum came out to stay for a month when she was ten days old, and before that DH was on holiday so I wasn't alone. It made it extremely easy to maintain normality. I think it is a bit trickier if you have noone at home and you have a baby that doesn't like being put down.

Neither did I BF. Which might also explain why I was able to carry on as normal as I wasn't the only one who could feed the baby. I think if I had struggled to BF things would probably have been a lot different. That's just my case though - am not insinuating that you would have this problem! I have friends who BF and managed to keep their homes tidy too :)

KitKat I totally agree with

"In hindsight I think that 'perfectionism' and refusal to give myself a break pushed me towards PND, and I would have been better off having a nap"

I was very house proud before DS came along and also very independent. When he arrived, DS was sick and DH developed severe depression and couldn't help with anything.

I'd been fully prepared to have DS be reliant on me but not for how much I in turn would be reliant on my DH.

We lived away from family and friends as we'd recently moved so it was like being a socially isolated single mum. DS cried all the time, didn't sleep and wouldn't go in a sling or be put down. I honestly just about managed to shower and eat let alone clean.

I was surviving on less than 2 hrs sleep a night for over 5 months and with that and everything else going to pot I became very very anxious. The state of the house was one of the things I used to panic over and we had no spare money for a cleaner.

The thing that helped me in the end was trying to celebrate small achievements and to focus on what I'd managed to do instead of all of the things that still needed doing.

Rather than having an always sparkling house with everything newly cleaned it was much easier to try and do things in rotation at first. It was a bit like setting myself smart targets for the home. It might not have been pristine like I was used to but it became respectable again and made me feel better.

Slowly the time between jobs shortened and now I'm in a fairly good routine. Its rare I get to do a top to bottom clean and have everything lovely all at once but my house is tidy and clean and perfectly presentable.

Overall the experience has made me a bit more relaxed about the house than I used to be and now if my choice is between doing the dusting which was done in the last week or playing with DS I'll play with him and don't feel anxious or stressed about it.

Hopefully you'll have an easy baby, a supportive partner and, if needed, money for a cleaner but if not please don't think you have to get it all done at once and for it to be perfect.

Life with a new baby can be really tough, you don't realize how tough until you experience it for yourself and its important to remember to give yourself a break. Its only ourselves who we expect to be superwoman and get it all done.

Good luck.

I think yanbu to want this for yourself but don't but too much pressure on yourself that it has to be this way. The one thing I learnt is to expect the unexpected. You just need hope for the best, in that your baby is content whilst you keep up with your housework, but prepare for the "worst" with a baby that doesn't want to be put down. The worst thing you can do is put pressure on yourself if you get the latter kind of baby. Go with the flow, do what you can and enlist the help of daddy so you get time to look after you and the house.

Good luck!

My house was neat and tidy until the toddler years. It is tidy in the morning and evening but messy (toys on floor/surfaces and dirty ware in sink) when dc are up. I tidy up for 15 mins in the evening, when dc are gone to bed. My house was at it's very tidest when I worked full time and everyone was out during the day (for obvious reasons). Newborns usually sleep and feed a lot in the first while so it is tidy until dc get mobile. It depends on the type of dc you have too, some are messier than others and your priorities change. I prefer to let my dc play and spend time with them whilst they are up and tidy when they are out or in bed. If I can, I tidy when they are playing.