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Original poster

Oh shit. How much trouble am I in??!

127 replies

ribbitrabbitribbit · 25/02/2016 17:51

My parents have gone away on a cruise for 3 weeks. Left last Thursday and asked me to housesit and to look after DSis who was 18 2 weeks ago.

My parents said she could have a party last Friday night (yeah, cheers for that one Hmm). I wasnt told anything about it until last Wednesday evening. Mum said it would be max 10 friends and she agreed they could drink but the rules were no spirits and no smoking indoors (both me and DSis smoke but we know to smoke outside or in the garage)

Anyway DSis and me went to the supermarket last Thursday and brought some beer and cider and alcopops. Set some extra ground rules: anyone carrying alcohol on the way into the party would be turned away, I would be checking on them all every so often and if anything iffy was happening I would be pulling the plug straight away. And I set a curfew to have everyone apart from her 2 best friends to be out by 1am.

It is worth pointing out here that DSis has friends varying in age from about 14-25. She does some volunteering, has a part time job and goes to college so has friends from those places.

DSis and everyone turned up at the house about 7.30pm. Everything seemed fine. Nobody turned up with extra alcohol (to my knowledge at the time). There was an extra 4 people but I let it go.

About 8.30 and I was cooking some pizzas in the kitchen. 2 girls came in and
asked where they needed to go to smoke and I pointed them in the right direction. Didnt pay much attention to them tbh as the beeper went on the oven and I was trying to Skype my DP at the time.

Took the pizzas in and all was OK until about 10pm when DSis came in and said one of her friends had been sick behind the sofa and was drunk. Cleaned her up and took her upstairs and put her to bed in Dsis bed where shefell asleep. I asked Dsis if she knew her Mums number- her phone had a passcode on it so I couldnt get in to to get the number. DSis just ensured me that the girl was just a bit of a lightweight and had got carried away.

I told her it was time to wrap things up. Went into the lounge to find they had smuggled bottles of vodka and tequila in and had been doing shots (I had gone into the louge to get the girl but they had hidden the evidence behind the other sofa) and that they had been smoking out of the window of the lounge. Kicked everyone out and told them that if they came back id be calling the police to escort them all home to their parents which funnily enough got rid of them all. DSis told ne later they had hidden the bottles under the hedge and when the two girls went out to smoke they brought it in

I was furious with DSis and told her that aside from college, work and her volunteering she wouldnt be lesving the house until she was my parents reaponsibilty again and that id be taking her and collecting her. Ive managed to confiscate her bank card and I know she doesnt have any cash so shd cant get anywhere without me anyway.

Let the girl stay the night who I then dropped off the next day. She insisted I dropped her at the corner of the street, but I drove her to the front door. She let herself in and there were no cars about so her parents musnt of been in.

Anyway all was OK until today when I got a phone call from the girls mother. It turns out she is only 14, had never had alcohol before and had been told by their DD she was just going to a sleepover at a different friends house.

Theyve said they are ringing the police for supplying alcohol to a minor and that they will be making my employer aware. I explained the situation (that I was DSis, Mum gave permission for the party and the alcohol and gave us the money to pay for it.) but they didnt care. The girl was incredibly hungover and apparantly told her parents everything

Im shitting myself. Im furious. If i get a criminal record, a warning even, I will more than likely loose my job. DSis is remorseful but it isnt good enough. Ive sent her to stay with my grandparents for the remainder of my parents trip who are uncontactable as they are on a cruise and obviously cant get phone signal in the middle of the Atlantic. This will be the case until Sunday.

OP posts:
salsquiggle · 26/02/2016 08:39

elephant you summed up the situation perfectly, I totally agree with you.

kazlau · 26/02/2016 08:51

I had a girl stay over (she was 16) with my 16 & 18 yo daughters. She called a guy to my house in a car and my two snuck out with her while I was sleeping. Upshot was they were involved in a RTA. She told her parents that the guy was a friend of my eldest and I went ballistic at my DD. Turns out this was not true and that she was the friend. Her parents told the neighbourhood that I was the most dreadful parent and my girls were out of control. I knew different. Like the other commenter - I feel her parents were lasting out at us because they were furious with their daughter. It'll all blow over. You just have to deal with your Wee sister and make sure your parents know the whole story. Lessons learned all round.

Dapplegrey1 · 26/02/2016 08:53

I'd tell the mother that you are sending her the bill for having the carpet cleaned.
Yet another example of alcohol causing problems for others as well as the drinker.

Helencandy28 · 26/02/2016 09:00

Don't worry. Firstly parents allowing teenagers to have a party in their house whilst they're away is just asking for trouble. Secondly, if I was the parent of the 14 year old then I would have contacted the parents to check if it was ok that she could sleep over. I have teenagers and whenever they get invited over to friend's houses for sleepovers I always check with the parents to make sure it's ok. The parents of this 14 year old clearly didn't do this otherwise they would have realised she was lying to them, which makes them irresponsible. I very much doubt the police will do anything about this. I remember going to a party at a similar age and having too much to drink. My mum just gave me a big telling off and grounded me for a month, which is what these parents should do. Involving the police is going way over the top.

maydancer · 26/02/2016 09:01

Is the bank card on her own account .If it is you need to give it back to her!!!!

Sunnybitch · 26/02/2016 09:09

I feel kind of sorry for your dsis to be honest. She's 18 and is an adult and yet she's been treated the same age as her silly little friend (who's parents are bang out of order trying to blame you btw) Bloody hell I was in ibiza at 16 with my mates, I was also left to look after the house and animals aswell as getting to work when my parents went on a holiday for the first time (17 at the time)
Please give your sister some slack...we all make mistakes.

ghostspirit · 26/02/2016 09:16

I do think it's a hard one. The mum should check up on the 14 year old. Ask for number of the parents so they can check all is well. But also teenagers can be pretty sneaky. And they may not always tell parents the truth. I think it's one of them things
I don't think it's anyone's fault. Although I do agree that ops parents put her in a difficult situation hosting a party for such a mixed age grout. And also that the gIrlam who's 14 parents could have checked up

ReginaPhalange72 · 26/02/2016 09:41

I have to say it feels a bit unfair of your parents to agree to her having a party while they weren't even gong to be there, and leaving you responsible for everything. Hopefully they can help sort things out when they are back.

Arfarfanarf · 26/02/2016 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaitrosePigeon · 26/02/2016 10:21

The mum doesn't have a leg to stand on.

You need to give her back her card though, that's really bad.

MogLikesEggs · 26/02/2016 10:51

I'd be putting the whatsits up your d sis by sharing the good news that as she's an adult, the police could be coming after her - you're a house guest. Presumably sis knew the younger friend's age better than you did? The lack of remorse would bother me - I would hand her bank card back and tell her that as an adult she shouldn't be sourcing drinks for her underage friends. The mum totally over-reacted though - why doesn't she blame her own dd who a) lied and b) has free will not to drink shots etc

NotGonnaAnswerThePhone · 26/02/2016 16:35

It was your sisters party, she is an adult and an occupant. Therefore it is her responsibility

Margs55 · 26/02/2016 19:55

We had a similar situation at my daughter's 13th birthday... one of the girls smuggled vodka in. Got totally pissed. Was all awful. Her parents behaved brilliantly - apologised to me and got her to make me a card saying she was sorry... I didn't need the card but the thought was great...

stickystick · 27/02/2016 00:33

You and your parents are really lucky you don't live in America. When I Iived in Virginia, a couple were sentenced to two years in jail for buying a keg of Bud Light - hardly the world's strongest drink -for their son's 18th birthday party (the legal drinking age there is 21). Some teenagers drank some, then went home & told their parents, who called the police...

paxillin · 27/02/2016 01:06

Tell the parents you're reporting them for supplying their 14yo with booze and fags and sending her to a party to supply it to other minors.

Give the card back, it's theft, she's an adult.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 27/02/2016 01:28

Your dsis should have told you she's 14! She's extremely immature your parents need to act on this!

gooseberryroolz · 27/02/2016 01:40

Im shitting myself. Im furious. If i get a criminal record, a warning even, I will more than likely loose my job

Stop stealing people's bank cards and restricting their movement then. Simple.

FannyFifer · 27/02/2016 01:50

Totally lost with this one, as your sister is 18 and an adult then why are you even involved in any of this?

lucymootoo · 27/02/2016 02:15

I also don't understand when your sister is 18 (an adult) you have so much control.

kiloh · 27/02/2016 07:15

She hasn't got a leg to stand on, you didn't purchase drink with the intent to supply it to her 14yr old daughter, it was for an 18 yr old for her party, you did not give it to her directly or sell it to her - she knowingly helped herself, she drank it in the home, it's legal for children at that age to drink at home, she smuggled booze into the house nothing to do with you, and you weren't aware of her age, really what are the police going to do - they'll have an irate mother on the phone complaining that her teenage daughter lied about where she was going and went to a house party and got drunk - where she was cared for, put to bed and returned home to the house? I think they'd tell her not to waste police time...!

MidniteScribbler · 27/02/2016 07:47

Good grief, we're talking about an 18 year old, a legal adult. She doesn't need a babysitter, and any party she chose to have is on her head.

Leave her alone and let her deal with her own problems.

IJustLostTheGame · 27/02/2016 08:49

You don't have to put up with any of her shit. She's 18, if she wants to be a twat she can. She lives under your parents roof not your's so really this is between them.
Bow out.

And give her her cash card back.
You can't ground an 18 year old.
You can refuse to put up with her shit. You go home, and chill out.

dodgeballqueen · 27/02/2016 09:15

Who in the name of fuck do the 14 year olds parents think they are? Their kid, their responsibility to address her behaviour. If they try any more of this shit I'd be really tempted to give them the hairdryer treatment and tell them you're contacting social services given that they don't know where their daughter is sleeping at night. I think they're trying to intimidate you because you're only 23.

I do think think you have to give your sis her bank card back and 'unground' her though. She's legally an adult even if she's going to fuck up. As such you're not responsible for her (and nor are your parents) and I'd be making it pretty clear to your parents that you're not taking on a similar role if/when they next go away.

tobysmum77 · 27/02/2016 09:37

I'd be making it pretty clear to your parents that you're not taking on a similar role if/when they next go away.

I agree, they put you in a difficult position. Presumably dsis is immature for her age and they dont trust her in the house on her own. That isn't your problem it's theirs but you have let them make it yours. If dsis is in the house while they are in hols she has to take responsibility. If they aren't happy with that then they either don't go or she goes with them.

You have been put in a really difficult position of 'babysitting' someone who is legally an adult.

Boredworkingmum020 · 27/02/2016 10:17

She's over 5 so all ok. Tell them if they repeat these allegations esp to your employer you will be taking legal advice. If they are so aghast at the situation and expect adults to have that much control over what a 14 year old does why did they not make sure their Dd said no to alcohol until 18. What muppets! One way to guarantee their Dd never tells them anything again I suppose