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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Noisy Neighbour ?

64 replies

Adamsapple · 23/02/2016 19:07

I don't know if I am being unreasonable to be so pissed off with my new neighbours.
We live in a mid terrace house, myself, my husband, our 8 year old son and a small dog. We've lived here for 10/11 years, the house on the left side has always been rented out to a number of different people. New neighbours moved in to the rented house about ten days ago.
They are a young couple with a toddler and new baby on the way. On Sunday evening the bloke knocked on our door and politely asked if we could stop our son running up and down the stairs as it was so loud it disturbed their daughters nap time.
I said we would try to stop him running on the stairs and I said I thought he was going to complain about the screaming. It was haircut night and my son is autistic and hates haircuts, it can sound terrible. But he said it was just the stairs that bothered them.
We talked to our son and he did try to not run on the stairs.
Today I find a note from next door, complaining about the "stomping up and down the stairs" and "it is disrupting my child's sleep pattern" he then goes on to threaten us with reporting the "noise nuisance"

I'm feeling really pissed off, that they are threatening to report us.
In the 10 years we've lived here, no neighbours have ever complained about us before.
Would I be wrong to point out that their newborn will disturb their toddlers sleep more than our son on the stairs 😁

OP posts:

RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 23/02/2016 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vintage45 · 23/02/2016 19:17

They're being the unreasonable ones by the sound of it. So during the day, everyone has to be quiet for their childs precious nap time? If you want silence then you live in a detached house out in the country.

Original poster

Adamsapple · 23/02/2016 19:25

Thank you the stairs are carpeted and he always takes his shoes off in the house. He does run up and down but he is just a kid, he is not deliberately stomping.

OP posts:

SuperCee7 · 23/02/2016 19:40

How much is he running up and down them? If its repeatedly then it's really annoying. If it's just as and when he'd normally be going up and down stairs YANBU

Birdsgottafly · 23/02/2016 19:40

How often and how late/early does he run up and down the stairs?

How long you have lived there and the fact that it hasn't bothered previous neighbours, is neither here or there.

Running up and down stairs, on an adjoining wall is worse than kicking a football at it.

Would a trampoline, or another strategy be as noisy?

IAmNotAMindReader · 23/02/2016 20:16

They can report all they like. Normal day to day noises are not considered to be a noise nuisance unless its something like 20 people in hobnail boots running up and down a bare set of stairs at 3am for 4 hours.

They are being PFB. What are they going to do when number 2 arrives if they're a crier? Get a court ordered notice for them to shut up?

In a couple of months there's going to be much more noise coming from them and they'll have to suck it up as you cock your head and ask them if they had a bad night as you heard the new baby crying. Their oldest is going to have to get used to a lot more noise than the sound of feet from next door.

Original poster

Adamsapple · 23/02/2016 20:25

He doesn't play on the stairs, constantly going up and down. It's not totally an adjoining wall, there is the ginnel between our houses.
I do feel that the fact we have lived here a long time and had a number of different neighbours in that time is relevant. No one else has ever complained before, so surely that shows to some extent we don't make an extreme amount of noise.
He does have a trampoline in the back yard

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 23/02/2016 20:50

I think that if they carry on complaining then you need to go in and see what the noise level is like.

It could be pregnancy hormones and tiredness that's prompted the complaint.

ILoveACornishPasty · 23/02/2016 21:12

We live in an airbase, can confirm that children can sleep through fast jets flying over so am sure the stairs isn't a problem. Think it's the neighbour using the map time as an excuse.

JoffreyBaratheon · 23/02/2016 21:38

I have an autistic son (now a young adult) so I know how it goes.

If these people start any crap, just say they're discriminating against your son's disability. That should shut it right down.

QuiteLikely5 · 23/02/2016 21:45

This would be considered normal noise.

I'm confused how they know it's your son though? Can they see through the wall

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep · 23/02/2016 21:48

I will send round ds, then he'll know what stomping upstairs is.

Ughnotagain · 23/02/2016 21:50

Quite I suppose kids are more likely than adults to be running up and down stairs.

I can see the neighbour's point, OP - running up and down stairs is a pain in the arse to have to listen to. But then they've got a toddler and will have a newborn so it's not like they'll be in a position to complain, I'd imagine! I live in a terrace too and our neighbours are noisy as fuck but we have a baby so it's tit for tat really.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/02/2016 21:56

Joffrey I have to say that sounds like a pretty fucking awful thing to do. Nowhere does it even suggest that the problem is due to the op's son's autism and to suggest that that's the neighbours problem is highly ooffensive.

Original poster

Adamsapple · 23/02/2016 22:08

We've shown the letter to our previous neighbours and they reassured us that it's ridiculous. They said the new neighbours won't be impressed when the house on the other side has their next all night party
I agree that it could be pregnancy hormones and tiredness causing the complaint.

Thanks for all the replies,

OP posts:

JoffreyBaratheon · 23/02/2016 22:32

Life's stressful enough with an autistic child - to do what works to get these idiots off OP's back and shoot them down fast, seems right to me. I have nightmare neighbours so a coming from a place of pain, believe me. We turned a blind eye to the fact they were whining and trying to control the entire street within days of moving in - so it's the benefit of experience. We found in the end, our neighbours were complaining about us slamming doors because they had been moved on for ASB. It was a pre-emptive strike to wrongfoot us. If we'd hit back hard, and played dirty from day one, they'd have never got the secure tenancy 6 months down the line. By the time everyone here was awake to what was going on - too late.

Life is stressful enough when you're coping with a child with autism (my son screamed night and day for several years, when he was a toddler, for example). You don't want this crap on top and especially as experience says if people are looking for trouble so soon after moving in - they probably are trouble.

LifeofI · 23/02/2016 22:35

Firstly the fact you have been there 10yrs means nothing, you do not have anymore rights then them nor are you superior because of it. I hate when people say "i been here blah blah" so what! You dont own the road.

Secondly yes you should complain you can hear the toddler as well IF it is bothering you. Dont be petty if itwasnt a problem until they had a problem with you.

Third they can report you for noise nuisence but nothing will come of it because its a childs noise and tbh they do sound unreasonsble as u are not above them but beside

JoffreyBaratheon · 23/02/2016 22:39

Oh and OP we were the same - in over 30 years of adult life living next door to various people in terraces and semis - never had one single complaint, so we knew it was bogus.

Also, the week I moved here I had 5 kids aged 11 and under. If we were really noisy, it would have been at that point not years later with only 2 teens in the house, both of whom are either out all day at school/playing football in the village, or sitting playing on their PS4.

Very quickly, we realised the noise of DV coming fro them was going to be a regular thing so they complained about us first, to discredit us when we complained.

As others say, Environmental Health are not bothered about the noise of everyday living.

At first we were intimidated but now we just get on with our lives, and sod them. Once their past was exposed, they became powerless. And they started out just like your neighbours. Most people if new to an area, try and be friendly and fit in. The fact they aren't tells you all you need to know.

LifeofI · 23/02/2016 22:40

Op sorry but you are petty as hell. Why are you getting other neighbours involved because they made one complaint? Typical bully boy attitude i cant stand neighnors like you.

LifeofI · 23/02/2016 22:43

Maybe past neighbors were to scared to complain because they knew she would run around to the other neighbours showing their private letter to her like some little school girl.
Ever think of that?

StompyFreckles · 23/02/2016 22:52

Life

99percentchocolate · 23/02/2016 22:56

I'd ignore to be honest. It doesn't sound like you are doing anything unusual at all.

I used to live in a semi with thin walls and a parrot next door. Your neighbours should try being alone in the house and hearing somebody cackling and calling you names. Creepy as hell!

LifeofI · 23/02/2016 23:05

Stompy

nattyknitter · 23/02/2016 23:15

Just tell them you are teachig your son to levitate, but they will have to be patient while he masters the art.

You have to be allowed to live in your own home. I hear my neighbours on the stairs all the time and I don't doubt they can hear me on mine, but we both have to suck it up. Mine do creak and if/when I have the carpet changed I will screw the boards in properly to try to stop it, but I am not ripping out a perfectly good carpet to do it now. He won't get anywhere with a noise complaint anyway, so try not to worry.

Fatmomma99 · 23/02/2016 23:21

I suspect once baby arrives they'll be so exhausted with that they won't even notice what your son is up to.

Agree it's odd if there's a passageway between your houses, though.

I live in a terrace too, and there are odd things you can hear (next door's bloody piano I could happily chop up for firewood, but won't cos they're all lovely!)

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