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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Noisy Neighbour ?

64 replies

Adamsapple · 23/02/2016 19:07

I don't know if I am being unreasonable to be so pissed off with my new neighbours.
We live in a mid terrace house, myself, my husband, our 8 year old son and a small dog. We've lived here for 10/11 years, the house on the left side has always been rented out to a number of different people. New neighbours moved in to the rented house about ten days ago.
They are a young couple with a toddler and new baby on the way. On Sunday evening the bloke knocked on our door and politely asked if we could stop our son running up and down the stairs as it was so loud it disturbed their daughters nap time.
I said we would try to stop him running on the stairs and I said I thought he was going to complain about the screaming. It was haircut night and my son is autistic and hates haircuts, it can sound terrible. But he said it was just the stairs that bothered them.
We talked to our son and he did try to not run on the stairs.
Today I find a note from next door, complaining about the "stomping up and down the stairs" and "it is disrupting my child's sleep pattern" he then goes on to threaten us with reporting the "noise nuisance"

I'm feeling really pissed off, that they are threatening to report us.
In the 10 years we've lived here, no neighbours have ever complained about us before.
Would I be wrong to point out that their newborn will disturb their toddlers sleep more than our son on the stairs 😁

OP posts:
Adamsapple · 24/02/2016 00:04

LifeofI I don't think I am superior and I don't own the road Hmm I was simply stating the facts, trying to explain why I was so upset about this, as in 10 years, no one has complained.

I have never complained about anyones noise on this street, no Im not a bully boy Confused
I showed the letter to the couple who used to live next door, in that house, we are still good friends.

Thank you though for reassuring me that it wouldn't be taken seriously as noise nuisance, that is what really upset me.

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 24/02/2016 00:15

Well, being devil's advocate for a second, your neighbours 10 years ago wouldn't have complained about your DS because he wasn't born. Just because these neighbours are the first doesn't mean that he's not noisy.

The kid next door to us is noisy, but not as noisy as when he was a colicky baby so it doesn't bother us. Someone moving in who'd never lived next door to a child might find him very noisy.

Have they given you any indication as to times that it is happening? Are you sure it's DS they are hearing and not something else? Our neighbours complained about stairs once and it turned out to be DS playing with his train set on the wooden floor in his bedroom. We couldn't hear it from the lounge, but it was next to their room (I thought he was asleep in bed!).

lalalalyra · 24/02/2016 00:18

Also have they changed flooring that you are aware of, or have you? My friend thought her new neighbours were super noisy last year until she realised that their move coincided with her new flooring going down. It can make a big difference so you may be noisier to them if you or they have changed floor coverings.

Adamsapple · 24/02/2016 00:23

I will start the levitation lessons straight away Grin

Living in a terraced house, you can hear your neighbors, as natty said we both have to suck it up.

Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 24/02/2016 00:29

To be fair, Lyra made a pretty decent point and you're just dismissing it (quite rudely). Why?

Adamsapple · 24/02/2016 00:50

lalala I know what you mean about previous neighbors, before he was born.

My son can be noisy, I had thought 'what must the new neighbors think' whilst I was cutting my sons hair, he was screaming bloody murder Blush and that was what I thought he was going to complain about when he first spoke to me on Sunday.

But he said they were disturbed by him running on the stairs, in the note he said "its very loud and irritating" they also wrote the times he disturbed them yesterday, "at 3.45pm he did it 3 times..!!" The poor boy had been out at school all day, they are complaining about him as soon as he got home.

I appreciate that the woman has just moved house, heavily pregnant and a toddler to look after as well. The last thing she needed was a kid making noise next door and disturbing her toddlers nap time.
But sending a note threatening to report us was a bit extreme.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 24/02/2016 00:54

How can they hear the stair noise if there's a ginnel in between the houses?

Adamsapple · 24/02/2016 00:55

Paul I didn't dismiss Lyra, I certainly didn't mean to be rude, Im just a slow typer Blush

OP posts:
Adamsapple · 24/02/2016 01:06

Nanny, the houses are very squashed together, part of their bathroom and a bedroom are over the ginnel. Our bathrooms are side by side and believe me, you can hear everything Blush But that is the only room where you can clearly hear the neighbors.

OP posts:
Theneedygonzales · 24/02/2016 01:26

I live beneath two young lads in the most poorly sound proofed building known to man. I can hear the conversations they have, I can hear them walking around and also I've learned they're both Adele fans.

It's give and take, if they were really taking the piss, and they have done, I'd have a word but day to day noise can't be helped. I don't know what your neighbours expect. How about some slippers for DS to wear in the house?? I don't think I'd do anymore than that really. Hopefully they'll be too busy to complain once their baby arrives!

tkndnv · 24/02/2016 05:16

Stomping on the stairs isn't being noisy! They should try living next door to our neighbour - a ten bed student house! I don't care about hearing footsteps, voices, TVs, toilets and reasonable music. That's just life. 5am techno - not so much.

maybebabybee · 24/02/2016 05:37

They want to try living under our neighbours. Insane cackling at 2am every morning? I have honestly got no idea what is so hilarious.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 24/02/2016 05:47

Ah, a good old flying freehold. Presumably then their child's bedroom is the one closest to your house?
I'd retort with something like, "yes, these walls are thin. I don't think last nights dinner agreed with you did it?"

StoorieHoose · 24/02/2016 05:55

My neighbours 4 kids run up and down stairs all the time and their stairs are right next to my living room wall yes it's a wee bit annoying but a hundred times better than my previous neighbour who seemed to run a drop in centre for teenage boys who had all day all night parties which extending out to the back garden.

They should be careful what they complain about if their neighbours on the other side are fond of a party

wannaBe · 24/02/2016 06:28

They wrote to complain that someone ran up the stairs three times in one day? Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Living in a terrace house means that you unfortunately do have neighbours adjoining, and that noise is inevitable.

If it's at night then annoyance is understandable, but during the day you are going to get things like DIY for instance which do cause noise.

Nobody is responsible for someone's sleep during the day, not even if it's a toddler.

My neighbour's seventeen month old has woken me screaming for several nights now. I am thoroughly unimpressed. And when I did ask the neighbour if she was ok (they came to collect a parcel I had taken in - I didn't go round to complain) he denied that she'd even been crying, Hmm just said they' dust moved her into her own room because they're due to have a baby in April. Deep joy. She's been screaming for two hours solid this morning, and the other morning... If I wanted to be woken by screaming babies and toddlers in the dead of night I would have some of my own.... Angry.

PinanNidan · 24/02/2016 07:31

If it is normal noise you need to clamp down on this. We are three years down the line and my sn girl is a nervous wreck in our own home if she so much as drops her fork at lunch he bangs on the wall. She gets angry at me too because she feels I'm telling her to be quiet all the time..

Just normal noise btw. She doesn't play music, doesn't have friends over etc.

lilypadpod · 24/02/2016 07:50

I think it's irrelevant how long you've lived there or who was there first. You need to reduce unnecessary noise so your neighbour's child can sleep. Sounds like they're tolerant re the screaming which is something to be grateful for.

Why can't you make stairs out of bounds for running? Surely it's dangerous to run up and down stairs anyway? I think you need to teach your son to go up and down quietly. The neighbour's have a right to peace and quiet and regular loud thumping noises are awful. They want to enjoy their new home and their child wants to nap without being disturbed... they are NBU!

bimandbam · 24/02/2016 08:04

I suspect that the toddler isn't sleeping well during that time because he/she is dropping a nap and because of the house move. I suspect pg neighbour is tired because she is pg and has a toddler to look after and has just moved house. And I suspect they are blaming the only noise they can which is your ds coming home from school.

I would just make sure he doesn't have shoes on when he goes up and down the stairs. They are BU but I would try to make allowances at this time for them just because you have to live next door to each other.

If they come around again I would gently point out that he doesn't have shoes on, that it's normal family noise and that if the toddler can hear everything in the room they are in that it might be better napping in a different room.

Other than that not much you can do really.

Figmentofmyimagination · 24/02/2016 08:42

They sound like neighbours from hell and cowardly bullies - especially the way they resorted so quickly to noting down the times. Twice at 3:45pm? What are they like. Sounds like their child probably doesn't need a nap, everyone is fraught and they're transferring their stress onto you.

I really hate complainy-types who can't live and let live normal family noise. I remember when I was pregnant, years ago now, I moved into a new city and was desperately lonely, and within a nanosecond the neighbour was around to complain about the sound of my piano. No 'welcome to the neighbourhood', no wondering about other peoples' feelings and experiences - just straight in with moaning. Ghastly - and shortsighted as it makes any long term relationship very uncomfortable.

IceRoadDucker · 24/02/2016 08:47

I'm with lilypadpod. There's no need to run on the stairs, so the reasonable thing to do is teach your son to walk up them normally.

TheMaddHugger · 24/02/2016 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 24/02/2016 09:12

Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood, I realise from your complaints that you can sometimes hear my son using the stairs. As terraced houses, im sure you can agree that we all have to put up with a certain amount of reasonable daytime noise from neighbours. Sometimes I will be able to hear you and you will be able to hear us. I hope that complaints against normal everyday noises arent going to be a continuous issue from now on, as we have never had a complaint in the ten years we have lived here prior to this. Hopefully we can just carry on with our lives normally from now on. I too hear you at times, and am fully expecting there to be more noise when your baby arrives and I would hope that I will be reasonable about noise that is part and parcel of living in close proximity of families in a residential street.

cranberryx · 24/02/2016 09:17

OP, if you're confident it is normal every day noise and your DS isn't wearing shoes there really isn't much more you can do.

Do they expect him simply not to climb the stairs?

We had a funny one a few weeks back, I have two dogs that are pretty silent, they only bark once if they get to the back door and can't see me in the kitchen, then they sit and wait. They don't do this at night, they have been trained to do this so I know to let them in after their morning wee.

I am on mat leave, I hear an almighty thud on the door. It's my neighbour two doors down who insists my dogs have been in the garden barking for hours everyday, and that she is going to report me. She also used the words "I will send my big black husband around to have a word with your DP next time."

Implying she wanted a flight. Why she had to mention he was black, I have no clue.

Anyway. I invite her in, she asks where the dogs are,
I breezily reply,

"They go to doggy day care everyday from 8am until 3.30pm, want a biscuit?"

Her face was priceless when she realised they weren't in for all the times she had mentioned when shouting at me. Grin

TheMaddHugger · 24/02/2016 09:19

cran I love it

"They go to doggy day care everyday from 8am until 3.30pm, want a biscuit?"

Her face was priceless when she realised they weren't in for all the times she had mentioned when shouting at me. grin

lilypadpod · 24/02/2016 10:41

I still don't understand why you don't just teach son to WALK up the stairs? There is no need for him to run up and down or use them for exercise.

Imagine how frustrating it is to get toddler down for a nap then she is woken by a loud thumping noise! Soon they will have a newborn and are probably worried your son will wake the new baby/mum when they're napping in day. Have a bit of consideration! especially since neighbour is pregnant and probably exhausted. It's about mutual respect... they asked you politely to reduce noise on stairs, why start a war? You can teach your son to go up and down quietly!

I used to live in a terrace with a young family next door, their child used to bang toys on the walls and radiators and wake me at 5am. Utterly selfish of them to say 'it's part and parcel of living in a terrace' instead of teaching him not to do it!