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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aib an absolute nutter???

39 replies

Deejames1 · 21/02/2016 23:16

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit pfb with my DD. Took yonks to conceive and she is the product of my 5th cycle of IVF. She is the first grandchild to my parents and she is absolutely cherished. Her first birthday is in April. When she was born I paid for a photographer to take some pics of me and her. They were absolutely amazing and I was delighted. I'm not one for pics of myself either. My wedding photos were a disaster - had none (if you can believe it) of my darling parents and in laws.

The photographer offers a 50% discount for shoots taken within the same year. I am tempted to ask her to come to her first birthday party. It's being held at our house and will be just a family affair- my parents, grandparents, brother and fiancé and my DH's parents and his brother and children. I know my parents won't think it odd but I am concerned I'll come across nuts to my in laws. I get on v v well with them but they would t be the type to say I was nuts even if they thought it. Does it come across self indulgent?! I just think that an hour of her time will result in the most beautiful keepsakes. Have I lost the plot completely and this is in fact weird? I used to be a rational human being but now I'm not too sure...AIBU?

OP posts:
Patheticfallacy · 21/02/2016 23:18

That sounds like a lovely idea and not weird at all. Sounds like you'd get some beautiful keepsakes.

TwistyBraStrap · 21/02/2016 23:19

Why would anyone care? Book the photographer if you want to, if need be mention they had an offer on.

zzzzz · 21/02/2016 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Deejames1 · 21/02/2016 23:22

I guess I'm worried I will come across as a bit daft. Y'know, "why not enjoy the moment rather than document it, worry about pics etc"

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 21/02/2016 23:23

If you can afford it (I'm aware some "family event" photographers ramp up the price, most certainly not all or even most), go for it. But do warn family members in advance, it would be awkward if some of you are in your finery and others in civvies! Grin

zzzzz · 21/02/2016 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nashley · 21/02/2016 23:23

Life is too short and precious to worry about what others think. You wouldn't be hurting anyone so it's your choice entirely!

Original poster
Deejames1 · 21/02/2016 23:24

Haha zzzzzz that is spot on 😂

OP posts:
teacherlikesapples · 21/02/2016 23:26

Create memories and keepsakes of your memories! If you like the photographer, the price is affordable and all your family will be there, this sounds like a perfect opportunity :)

zzzzz · 21/02/2016 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 21/02/2016 23:28

Don't want to sound all gloomy and despondent, but, after my parents died, we really struggled to find a nice picture of them both to have on display / treasure.
I think it's a lovely idea for the photographer to come and take pictures of your dd with all her family in different groups. Everyone will be terribly coy about it and pretend they don't want a photo taken, but, in years to come, you'll be really chuffed you did Smile

MadamDeathstare · 21/02/2016 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntMabel · 21/02/2016 23:33

YANBU, but I think you're over thinking a potential reaction ftom the ILs.

It's one less thing for you to worry about during the party too, plus you're more likely to regret not having those photos rather than having them.

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 23:34

I think it sounds lovely, but do warn in advance.

JeremyZackHunt · 21/02/2016 23:36

If you did it every year and made it a thing, that would be odd.
But this is a natural stage of her babyhood. Beginning to end. She'll be toddling and talking next birthday.
Enjoy it!

zzzzz · 21/02/2016 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sallysparrow157 · 21/02/2016 23:44

It's a lovely idea. Also, if you didn't have a photographer, you and your family may spend loads of time faffing around taking photos and not enough time enjoying the day. If you have a photographer there you and your family can just get on with enjoying yourselves and the photographer can take some cute pics of it all.

FoolsAndJesters · 21/02/2016 23:48

I think it's a bit bonkers but a lovely idea at the same time . Grin

I Think you should do it and stop worrying about things Like this. I hope you get some great pictures.

WaterWorld · 21/02/2016 23:49

We had our wedding photographer do a set of images following us round the park with our 9 month old DS. I cherish them. He's 7 now and I might do it again actually :) Go for it.

Fatmomma99 · 21/02/2016 23:50

Also, I'm someone who loves to take a picture. A few years ago, my fav band from when I was a teen re-formed (or whatever) and toured and I went to see them. I'd last seen them when I was 16 (I'm LOADS older than that now).

I spent the entire gig taking pics and vids from my (very rubbish) phone. Not ONE was identifiable/watchable afterwards (I have a very, very crap phone), and I realized I hadn't "been there", I'd just tried to record it (why? No one else I know gives a shit about this band - they are rubbish, but I love them!).

Luckily, they'd obviously snorted all their profits away, so toured for the next 4 years, each time where I live, so I got to see them several more times. I never tried to record it again - I just enjoyed the experience. I sang, I danced, I made a twat of myself.

So what I'm saying to you is, DEF book the photographer. Then you can properly enjoy your pfb's precious birthday, and someone else can view the experience through a lens rather than actually being there.

And, congrats, btw. (and my DD took 7 years to create as well, so I'm with you on that one too! She's 14 now, and I'm still pfb about her)

LatinForTelly · 21/02/2016 23:50

Not at all; it's a lovely idea.

And you're not the one doing the documenting, are you? The photographer is, so you can enjoy the moment / day and have a lovely record of it.

bettyberry · 21/02/2016 23:51

Getting someone else to take the pictures means you'll be living the moment for real not through a lens/3 inch screen.

Sweetsweetjane · 21/02/2016 23:56

I think it's a lovely idea. Congratulations on your baby's first year. You were so brave to keep going with the ivf x

emilybohemia · 22/02/2016 00:08

Sounds ok to me. Have fun.

Becca1818 · 22/02/2016 00:10

Do it! I did (although it was my sister but still) who cares what people think!its your memories to capture!

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