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AIBU?

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Original poster

Playdate DCs haven't been picked up. Should I drop them off?

1023 replies

Recordmirror · 21/02/2016 20:33

So a mum from my DCs school asked me to have her two DCs today as her two are the same age/in the same class as my two youngest.
The DCs have been here a couple of times before but usually I arrange this with their dad and he picks them up.
But he is away on business and so their mum asked me to take them today as a favour whilst she is in work.

I've had them since 9 this morning. She was supposed to pick them up at 6:30. I called her at 7 and 7:30 and 8 and 8:15 but she's not replying. I have text her a number of times and nothing.

My DCs should be in bed. Her eldest isn't bothered but her youngest is getting upset saying that she should be in bed. I haven't told them that their mum should have picked them up by now.

Should I go round to theirs? I don't want to worry the DCs if their mum isn't there when we get there. But I would like to know where she is. So would I be unreasonable to go round there?

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 23:51

The police know. They will inform SS if needs be. The children are safe at the moment and will be at school tomorrow where safeguarding will kick in. I don't think there is any need for the OP to contact SS at the moment. Especially if it may mean all the children being disturbed in the middle of the night rather than keeping some semblance of routine and getting some sleep.

turkeylovessprout · 21/02/2016 23:52

I was late after an interview (about 20 mins) after being stuck in traffic for my daughter at our school nursery. I apologised profusely but they didn't bat an eyelid, nor had they tried my other contacts.

madamginger · 21/02/2016 23:52

Our school also ring social services if you are more than 30 minutes late with no contact. What else are they supposed to do?

clam · 21/02/2016 23:52

It's possible that she was in work all day, and then arranged for someone else to collect the kids so she could go out for the evening. Maybe the wires got crossed with the supposed collector and Mum is blissfully unaware they're not at home in bed and she's still out socialising???

Penguito · 21/02/2016 23:53

Poor children, I hope they get a good sleep

Foffyouwanker · 21/02/2016 23:53

I am shocked that mum hasn't turned up, hope she is ok

clam · 21/02/2016 23:53

And here I am, filling up the thread with shite theories.
I'm off to bed. Good luck, OP.

Zariyah · 21/02/2016 23:54

Schools and childcare can and do ring children's services if parents are no show after a fixed period of time. That's why they ask for a number of emergency contacts. In smaller settings, depending on the situation, they may contact another child's parent who may have other contacts or even be able to take the child themselves. Social services actually being called and needing to accommodate the child is very rare.

thequeenoftarts · 21/02/2016 23:54

I hope the police gained access to her home/workplace and are checking her phone etc, I know it all takes time, but she is almost 6 hrs late now in picking up her babies..

I truly hope she has been in a car accident /hospitalized and while that sounds awful, that nothing more sinister has happened to her...

Its a frightening experience for all concerned..I hope she surfaces unharmed soon xx

PeppaTheFirst · 21/02/2016 23:55

You poor thing. You definitely need to get some rest - you could have a heavy day tomorrow with comforting upset children if mum hasn't been found/making arrangements for childcare and work etc. Thinking of you all.

omri · 21/02/2016 23:56

I can't sleep myself now with the worry. Do we know if the husband has been contacted?
This poor woman- something bad has happened if she hasn't picked up her kids.
Op well done for staying calm for the kids and taking such good care of them ThanksBrew please god the woman is ok and nothing serious has happened to her.

zipzap · 21/02/2016 23:57

That's not good that she's not at home or at work. But at least the police are looking for her and hopefully given the fact there are two young children involved, they will be treating it as a serious matter.

Do you know if they managed to get into her home to check she wasn't ill inside or if they just knocked on the door and got no response?

Very worrying - so glad that you have been able to comfort the dc and I'm guessing get them to school tomorrow (will you be ok to get them all there or do you need to go by car and will they not all fit if you have other dc too?

Fingers crossed that she is ok...

MardyGrave · 21/02/2016 23:58

What a horrible situation to find yourself in, I hope the circumstances are kind.

weeblueberry · 21/02/2016 23:59

It's possible that she was in work all day, and then arranged for someone else to collect the kids so she could go out for the evening. Maybe the wires got crossed with the supposed collector and Mum is blissfully unaware they're not at home in bed and she's still out socialising???

Surely though with an situation that has you changing who's doing the pick up you'd

A) tell the babysitter
B) ask the new picker upper 'btw were the kids ok when you got them'

resipsa · 21/02/2016 23:59

God, OP - hope it all turns out OK. You're great.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/02/2016 23:59

Thinking of you op. You must be going through hell right now.

RedRideMeGood · 21/02/2016 23:59

Those poor children. You're doing great OP. I hope mum has turned up by the time the children wake and you all get as much sleep as possible.

RudeElf · 22/02/2016 00:02

Not sure if you've tried it or not OP but it seems like an emergemcy situation now so i would post on facebook tagging the mum and dad and asking that anyone who knew them please get in touch with them if possible and have them contact you urgently.

MillionToOneChances · 22/02/2016 00:02

weeblueberry so it was impossible to borrow a phone and phone your mum so she could phone directory enquiries and contact your childminder? Or begging the GP receptionist to do the same for you. Anyone who would think their immediate situation (non-life threatening in your example) is more important than keeping the adult in charge of their kids informed has no idea how unsettling it can be for kids not to be collected when they expect to be. Unless it happens to them all the time, but who'd want to be that parent?!

VoldysGoneMouldy · 22/02/2016 00:03

Oh God hope there is a reasonably nice explanation for this. You've been amazing OP.

Crazypetlady · 22/02/2016 00:03

Can the o.p go to sleep realistically? Will she not need to be waiting on more phonecalls

ChristmasZombie · 22/02/2016 00:04

OP, you are an absolute superstar. The children are safe, and that really is the most important thing right now. Are you still on your own? I think you ought to call in some reinforcements. You are doing wonderfully, but if you have someone who can support you it should relieve a little of the pressure. At the very least, you have everyone here on MN with you. Hang in there.

weeblueberry · 22/02/2016 00:08

weeblueberry so it was impossible to borrow a phone and phone your mum so she could phone directory enquiries and contact your childminder? Or begging the GP receptionist to do the same for you. Anyone who would think their immediate situation (non-life threatening in your example) is more important than keeping the adult in charge of their kids informed has no idea how unsettling it can be for kids not to be collected when they expect to be. Unless it happens to them all the time, but who'd want to be that parent?!

I did. And thanks for the sarcasm!! Wink

Unfortunately the only place I had my childminders number was on my phone which was in the car. And directory enquirers tend not to have people's mobile numbers? And we don't have a landline I our house (where she was). So although I called my mum at work all she could do was get away and race over to my house to tell the childminder in person. And between all the palavar and her travel time from work it was slightly over an hour.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 22/02/2016 00:11

OP did you see the post upthread about texting being a lifesaver for one poster?

If you haven't already, could be a good idea to text.

Also I agree about Facebook, ask for help from her friends, maybe someone can help, and if she doesn't show tomorrow it could help to have someone the DC know well there.

mummymafia · 22/02/2016 00:12

Good lord. Is there any update on this? Hope everyone ok. Confused

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