is it unreasonable to look through someone else's calendar?

[Magicpinkshadow]

I just want to gage what is accepted as 'normal'

I'm a very private person the things I put on my hung up calendar can be seen by any one that visits which in its self is ok.

My Dp sister is very nosey, in the past she has attempted to look through a folder with all the household bills in just because I'd left it on the side and Seems to think it's ok to even pick up my iPad when she is here to have a look at what ever she wants. To be fair dp whole family do it so I understand that to them this is normal. Where as in my family we always ask if we want to use or look at something.

So here's the thing, she came round when I was out to see dp and our Dc, I have just notice she has added a day out and her dc's birthdays on our calendar. It's not even for this month! So she has obviously gone through the calendar to add these things!! I mentioned this to dp and said can you ask her not to as I find it quite rude and would not consider doing it at her house, he told me that I was being ridiculous and what does it matter!!

Is normal to look through each other's calendar and other things amongst most families?

I read cards at my Mum's - largely because I may know the senders and am interested to see if they've written news. Largely Xmas cards I suppose. The calendar thing wouldn't bother me but the other stuff would. Interesting about the wifi etiquette - I probably wouldn't mind because we have a good signal and unlimited use.

If they had written news your Mum could tell you that Argy. But I assume she's ok with you reading them?

I always have a quick look at my parents before suggesting doing anything with them just so they don't feel conflicted and suggest they cancel any plans they had.

Never anyone else's (apart from husband, mainly to make sure he knows when things are) and never add to anything. It's not my business!

I look at the front of people's cards, but only because I make cards myself and if they're homemade ones I like to get ideas.

I warn people against having a calendar on display in their homes. We used to have one and after being robbed, it turned out the culprit was a tradesperson who had been in our house a week earlier, saw that we would be at a wedding that day, and had many happy hours going through the house and taking valuables. The police said it was a common way for thieves to find out when a house would be empty and recommended to keep your calendar out of sight.

Manners - your SIL is shocking.

I was at my parents last week. My Dad and I are both Dr .

My parents had gone out and someone phoned asking to speak to Dr . I did briefly think about responding with 'speaking' or 'which one?' but quickly realised that would make me sound like a tit. So I didn't .

If you don't like it she shouldn't do it....but I don't see why you can't tell her?

I can't believe people can be so rude!

No, it's not acceptable to look at someone's calendar, or even worst to write on it. What if I have medical appointments in there? It's my house, I don't have to keep everything locked, but I might not want you to know that I am going to hospital in 2 weeks. My diner party next Friday is none of your business either.

Are we supposed to write in code in our own calendars because of rude people?

And regarding the cards... I am genuinely shocked that people think it's ok to read private and personal mail that is not addressed to them. Most cards might only say "happy birthday/ Christmas/ anniversary", but I have a few where people wrote a long message, and it's PRIVATE!

It's less relevant nowadays, but I've always been told that it's rude to seal an envelop when you give a letter for someone to post for you: it would mean that you do not trust them not to read it. The person taking the letter would then seal it in front of you. It sounds like sometimes you should be rude to protect your privacy. it's unbelievable.

We have a chalkboard for shopping list set and a calendar with a column for each family member. No one has ever touched my calendar. I don't think it would bother me as such but I would find it rude.

Everyone writes on the chalkboard though as its non permanent and it makes us laugh. It's kind of sad if people go home and no one wrote or drew something stupid on the way out! maybe everyone needs a chalkboard to indulge their guests need to write!

I have a whiteboard Jen. It's magnetic and it's my 'hub'. All sorts of letters and stuff on there. I try not to let anyone else write on it though although I am learning that this is not good.

It would annoy me because it wouldn't be in my handwriting, possibly the exact location I put certain information and in the right colour.

Yes... I can be very 'precious' about such things! But, my calendar in my house has to be done my way

It would annoy me but only because she wrote in it. I have a 'calendar pen' and sit to write things in the calendar so that it is neat and organised. Gawd I sound so anal!!

My Mil is a card reader.
I went NC with her so when all that side of the family sent dd get birthday cards she kept them all down at her house so she could read them.

Dd actually got her cards three days after her birthday. Dh had seen her the day before and she could have sent them up with him but her desire to be nosey came before her granddaughters birthday obviously.

Gosh, I'd be delighted she wrote stuff in so I didn't forget it!

Mil and mum always looed k at my calendar. When I was hormonal I once wrote
Visit Australia House and tarmac front garden and other random stuff purposely. Mil must have seen it because she stopped looking I guess taking the hint. I felt a bit mean after.

I read cards at my grandma's house and at my mum's house, but thats because they say to me 'have you seen my card from x?' and don't tell me which one it is...so now I automatically read them all and say ooh you got a card from X and one from Y, that was a nice message.

I don't at anyone else's house unless specifically invited to-likewise I'd never read a calendar. I do read newsletters from my friend's kids' schools if they're in an obvious place, because I ask the kids about how the victorian day went or something. I wouldn't go looking for this letter but if its on the fridge I'd read it.

I have done this with very close friends and family and had them do it for me. Is helpful to have birthdays added to the calendar! :)

I wouldn't do it to somebody who I didn't see regularly and value as a close friend/ family member though but she is your SIL so I can see why she thought it would be fine.

However you clearly have different boundaries and that is fine, I would just ask her nicely not to do it again.