is it unreasonable to look through someone else's calendar?

[Magicpinkshadow]

I just want to gage what is accepted as 'normal'

I'm a very private person the things I put on my hung up calendar can be seen by any one that visits which in its self is ok.

My Dp sister is very nosey, in the past she has attempted to look through a folder with all the household bills in just because I'd left it on the side and Seems to think it's ok to even pick up my iPad when she is here to have a look at what ever she wants. To be fair dp whole family do it so I understand that to them this is normal. Where as in my family we always ask if we want to use or look at something.

So here's the thing, she came round when I was out to see dp and our Dc, I have just notice she has added a day out and her dc's birthdays on our calendar. It's not even for this month! So she has obviously gone through the calendar to add these things!! I mentioned this to dp and said can you ask her not to as I find it quite rude and would not consider doing it at her house, he told me that I was being ridiculous and what does it matter!!

Is normal to look through each other's calendar and other things amongst most families?

The calendar thing wouldn't bother me. Afterall, it is on display!
I don't think I've ever flicked through other people's but I can't see a reason why I would. I've glanced through the open month at people's houses though, usually when waiting for the kettle to boil.
Not sure about the Ipad/laptop issue as I've been known to use my dsis or dms. I would never use other people's thouhh

I help myself to wifi when in close friend's/relatives houses. I am happy for them to do the same in my house.
The netflix thing is v cheeky though!

How do you people feel about members of your family helping themselves to a glass of tap water at your house?

My ex SIL was a nightmare. It got to the point where I wouldn't have her babysitting in my house any more when I found her going through my wardrobe 'seeing if I had something she could borrow for a party next week'. I also suspected she had been nosing around in my bedroom drawers and a paperwork file.

To be honest someone reading my calendar or looking at cards on the mantelpiece wouldn't bother me at all - I had no idea some people might find that rude . Someone writing on my calendar without asking me would annoy me but only because our entire lives are there so I don't like people disrupting my organisation system!

I don't mind people looking at my calendar although I'd rather they ask before adding stuff). I do mind when my MIL answers my phone and says "yes this is Mrs Tiny". Technically she is but when people phone my phone and ask for mrs tiny they want me! FIL opened my post once and read it before I could stop him. Even MIL was at that.

The i pad and calender i wouldn't be bothered about , But the bills . i'd be saying excuse me ... that is my business ... have you considered going to hers and doing the same , it would be an interesting re action

A calendar on public display? I would think it's quite nosey but wouldn't bother me at all. I'd be amused at someone else adding events to it. Other people's electronic devices are not okay.

If you don't want people to read cards, then don't put them on public display (or cellotape them shut...) Reading cards is perfectly normal - to me at any rate - but the electronic items should always be asked for. Mind you, I'd be a bit if one of my DC said that I couldn't use their ipad to check the news or weather... I wouldn't be trying to hack their email account or check how much they'd got in the bank

Why do people read cards though? What are they expecting? I have never felt the urge to read anyone's cards.

How is 'in your own house' public display?

Surely the outside of the card is the bit that's on display - I think picking one up to read the message inside is really rude and intrusive. I wouldn't dream of doing that.

MIL us been known to read our anniversary cards to each other DH doesn't see the problem but I think it's awful.

My sil would be a bit like this and it fell on deaf ears.She used to tidy stuff away and you could never find it.Until she tidied away dps stuff and he couldnt find it.It stopped.

Calendar and stuff on display wouldnt bother me as long as they didnt go through letters or such.

Write 'nosey twat cow SIL coming round' in a random space somewhere in the calendar

yavvdnbu this would send me nuclear, unless you live in my house the calendar and what's on it is none of your business, and as for the iPad and letter rummaging, no just no, you would never be invited back, very nosy and rude. And as for people reading other people's cards, WHY, they're not yours, mind your business.

YANBU. I'm quite precious about my calendar. DH doesn't bother with it so he would have no say anyway. I'd go mad if someone took it upon themselves to write stuff on it, write it on your own fucking calendar!

I've never ever been inclined to look at anyone's cards. I genuinely don't get why anyone else would be interested in what 2 people write to each other. I'd put them on a high shelf on purpose.

And for the changing settings! Incredibly rude! People used to think it was hilarious to come and change my magnets around. It's not funny, it's rude. I'd never dream of going into someones home and move their things around. My newer friends have heard about my magnet thing and all think it's going to be funny to move them when they get chance. If they do i'll be telling them how bloody rude and disrespectful it is! It's not the act itself, it is what it represents and people who think they are entitled to read your private things and touch stuff they have no business to are showing that they have no respect for you whatsoever. The wifi password is a representation of lack of boundaries by not saying "oh do you mind" OP said she wouldn't have minded but felt it would have been polite for her SIL to ask., which it would have been.

YANBU. SIL has turned in to bridezilla. Came round late December 2015, saw the 2016 family calendar in a carrier bag, in cellophane. Next morning I found my 2016 calendar already hanging up over the 2015 one, with dates of her (three) hen dos, wedding rehearsal and wedding day and extra days she thought we should take off in case she needed us marked in red pen. I was incandescent. Especially as she'd also written in the 'spare' fourth column which actually won't be spare once DC2 arrives later this year.

I'm so sorry OP I didn't mean to rant quite so hard! Ahem... YANBU

Mannery I hope you shredded the calendar and sent it to her in a glitterbomb manner, and deducted the cost of a new one from whatever gift you may get for her hideous-sounding wedding?

They aren't having gifts. It was a money poem invitation.....

ManneryTowers

Yeaaaahhh....I'd buy a new one

I would also write stuff on close family calendar but I would probably ask first
I do think anything on display is fair game - wall calendars, cards but I would not flick through and read a calendar!
iPad is a no no! Add a pin!!

Just to be clear I would not actually read a card in someone else's house but I wouldn't really mind if someone read mine.
Your SIL sounds batshit mannery

I am fascinated that the op's thread title is about a close family member writing on her calendar, which seems perfectly normal- but then goes on to looking through private papers and looking at an IPad as if they are secondary concerns........