to hope for a job that fits around my kids and school???

[susieb19]

I went back to work when my dds were 8 months and 2months old. I hated the conflict it created in me. Lllllllong story. I did it for two years and then my boss asked me one day had I found an after school club that I liked for when they started school. Something in me clicked and six months later I walked out of the office and never looked back. It took me years to be able to even look at photos of my girls during the time I was working. Anyway I didn't mean to turn this into a therapy session - just giving a bit of background. I walked away from a high paying, relatively mentally stimulating career. I appreciate that I am lucky to be in a position to have a choice about working.
I would like to contribute something and use my brain some more. But aibu to want something that fits around my children???? Outside of becoming a T.A what is there??? I know so many people like me with something to contribute but left not knowing where to turn. I am concluding starting my own business is the only way ahead??? Anyone else feel the same...

I think starting your own business or working in a school is the only option, generally yes. Part time is also an option, shift patterns, job shares, although all are fairly rare to come by.

That is quite an extreme reaction to WoH/childcare. why do you feel it's essential to be there personally after school? Does your DP feel similarly?

I'm waiting for the budget approval to recruit a part-time position in a highly specialised field, working 9.30-2.30, Monday-Thursday. I specifically want those hours because I know that many parents and adults caring for relatives who go to day centres would bite my arm off for the position and so I can get someone really good within my budget. In that awful management-speak, it's a no-brainer.

YANBU, definitely not, but sadly you are being a little unrealistic in my experience. sigh.

I'd love those hours. Most children at m ydaughters school have a parent or grandparent to pick them up. It would be really quite unusual to not .

There was more to it than just the childcare q. I agree that does sound v unreasonable! I was covering offices in York London and Norfolk. Was stressed to the eyeballs and the job was just growing and growing. DH had equally demanding job and in the middle of it all were the girls. Life was not good fur any of us. It's important to me to be around for the holidays. And yes, in an ideal world I want to take them and collect from school.

Wants it all I hear from the wings...

And nothing wrong with wanting that

I know one person who works those hours. She is self employed as an editor. She was in that field for a decade before she had kids.

Most people use childminders at least a couple of days a week. I know several friends who work full time and the kids are in wraparound care 5 days a week. It's whatever works for your family

Personally I think you limit your options too much to want those hours every day. MAny people strike a compromise and work 3 full days, or 5 days but with flexi so they can do a few school runs a week.

What's wrong with after school care? Mine loved it!

Just try to get a nice neat ft job that's 35 hours m-f 9-5, decent holidays.

Best of both worlds IMO.

I agree with Xmasbaby11. I personally would not want to be in FT work and am lucky enough to work 3dpw job in a well paid stimulating job - which incidentally OP from the locations of your job I suspect might be in same industry! But pre and post school childcare for 3dpw does my children no harm and in fact is probably more fun than coming home at 3.15 each day or eating the boring breakfasts that I provide.

3dpw plus me being able to take one day a month flexitime means that between us DH and I cover almost all the school holidays - they spend 3-4 days a year with my DM or a friend of mine (we return the favour for her DC) and 2-3 days at a holiday club. So they see loads of me and more of DH than many children do.

Outside the school hols, I also get 2dpw to do the housework / voluntary work / admin etc so can concentrate on DC when with them - unlike those who work 9-3 for 5dpw who never get a minute to themselves.

What field did you work in? Could you freelance? That's what I do and yes it was a struggle at first for many years but now, after 8 years I am finally making money.

What's wrong with after school care? Mine loved it!

Everything is wrong with after school care if the OP wants to be at home for her kids after school.

Horses for courses.

Lots more companies are offering working from home now although normally its when you have been working there for a while.
I was lucky that a friend of mine who works from home half the time told
Me of a new part time position at her company working from home (after training at her house!)
There are jobs out there but it's a case of searching for them, I applied to loads before this came up ( and it is a proper job with a proper company as opposed to MLM, working self employed or only on a commission basis that so many advertised jobs end up being)
I have also precious worked from home in a virtual call centre for Sky broadband faults which again was a proper job.

Extremely difficult for small businesses to offer this. No matter how much I wanted to offer this, on two occasions that I did it turned into a nightmare for me. Who covers the post during the school holidays, inset days, public holidays etc? How can a small business pay for additional cover as well as all the holiday pay.

Who covers the post until 930 and after 230pm. I was paying out more trying to accommodate this, than I was to full time staff.

Anytime I advertise a part time job, 9 out of 10 times I get the same requests school hours , term time and flexibility on my part but not on the employees .

Sorry but the real world doesn't turn in this axis, so unless you're prepared to be a little more flexible and give more commitment then school work it is.

YANBU to hope, but you will be very lucky to find a stimulating job that you can just pick an choose a few hours in the middle of the day.... and presumably also with school holidays off ???

My experience is that the vast majority of people with great PT jobs negotiated them when they were still with the company that valued them / working in a role that didn't want to lose them or they are free lancers / self employed, and there are very, very, very few jobs that get advertised with the kind of T&C you are looking for.

I work in the Nhs and work in a flexible environment. I currently do 4 days but aim to reduce it to 22.5hrs and spread it out over the week so I work school hours. Will still have to cover the holidays though.

The only people I know with great PT jobs are the ones that did that job before having babies and manage to negotiate it on return to work.

I did it. But then left to start my own business. Which has been very successful and I work from home. But the first year was horrific. I was working every hour I could around the kids and school holidays were a nightmare. Now it's more established with regular orders I work more the week before the holidays and just a bit during. Occasionally mum will take the kids for the day and over night in the holidays so I can get 8-10 hours work in one go if I need to.

It depends what you did before but have you considered adult ed. I did some nvq assessing in a previous job and there were a couple of people who did that / training sessions as a complete job. There is quite a bit of flexibility with it as you make your own appointments and set your own administration time.

I negotiated a full time "proper" job down to 3 days. It can be done

It doesn't have to be a FT++ job with travel, or SAH. If you're more flexible on hours etc you'll have more options.

So you stopped work completely and DH continued his FT+ job. A few years on could HE do a school pick up or two, or some holiday days? (Parental leave, for example)

If you don't like after school clubs there are other options, eg childminder, nanny.

DH and I both dropped to 3 days a week each and shared the childcare/ school runs, with my DM having them the day we overlapped. We worked 10 hour days so 30 hours which is 80% of full time salary. Would that be an option?

I had my own business to fut around dd. It was ok. Didn't make mega bucks but enough to get by.

Now we have ds as well. He is 2. Am starting an nvq (hopefully) to be a TA in September. Other roles I looked at were all school/education based.

It's important to me to be there over school holidays. I can accept wraparound care a few days a week. But I want my dcs ti have holiday time with me wherever possible.

I think people are missing the point about after school club...the OP wants to be there to pick up her DC when the bell goes, not that she thinks after school club is the sons sort of hell version of childcare.

OP I think the best thing for you if you would be to look for a job two days a week. You would still be around most days/holidays, and would be working almost as many hours as just the middle of the day.

I've known admin jobs in small offices have 9:30-2:30 hours, but these are still during holidays.

I think starting your own business might be the worst idea as you would have to put a lot of hours in initially to get started.

I have gone back in the relatively fortunate position of 3 days in the office and two half days at home. Grandparents do pick up and collection on the three days I'm in the office and I do the other two.

I have negotiated this over time with the employer I was with pre kids. The industry is pushing for flexible working and family friendly policies and keeping women in the profession.

I do think that it will become the norm to have more flexible hours eventually across the board but it will be a long time before we get there.