to hope for a job that fits around my kids and school???

[susieb19]

I went back to work when my dds were 8 months and 2months old. I hated the conflict it created in me. Lllllllong story. I did it for two years and then my boss asked me one day had I found an after school club that I liked for when they started school. Something in me clicked and six months later I walked out of the office and never looked back. It took me years to be able to even look at photos of my girls during the time I was working. Anyway I didn't mean to turn this into a therapy session - just giving a bit of background. I walked away from a high paying, relatively mentally stimulating career. I appreciate that I am lucky to be in a position to have a choice about working.
I would like to contribute something and use my brain some more. But aibu to want something that fits around my children???? Outside of becoming a T.A what is there??? I know so many people like me with something to contribute but left not knowing where to turn. I am concluding starting my own business is the only way ahead??? Anyone else feel the same...

I'm a TA and work 32.5 hours. DH drops off every day, baby sitter picks up four days a week. To get enough hours to make any money at all you need to be there 8.30-3.30. These seem to be becoming the standard hours for a TA in my area. Not necessarily much of a solution. I am able to be there in the holidays but don't get paid for them.

I work part time in a specialist industry (I used to work full time in the same industry but got made redundant when the DCs were 6 and 4). I work 3 days school hours only but it is all year round, however in the holidays I compress it into two full days. For me it is definitely more important to be there every day after school in term time than it is to have the whole holidays off. When DH and I are both working the DCs go to holiday clubs or grandparents (which they love) for my two days and it gives us all a bit of space from one another.

I found my job by networking, it was never advertised, and I find this is often the case with friends who work part time, it is really worth putting the word out to anyone and everyone as you just never know where an opportunity is going to crop up. A lot of jobs aren't advertised but are filled this way. Doing voluntary work is a good way to both gain experience and build a network of contacts locally.

I teach two days a week. I would actually like to do something else but reading all this makes me realise how lucky I am! Mind you with three children (one not yet school age) the cost of childcare for two days would make it almost not worth it. Luckily family do one day so we only pay our cm one day a week. I couldn't be a TA as my salary wouldn't cover childcare costs.

It definitely helps to have specialist skills if you want part time, of any description. I think if I didn't, I'd be looking at some of the many WFH options there are now.

"How can a small business pay for additional cover as well as all the holiday pay." Kingoftheroad I don't know anything about it, but can you please explain why you say "as well as the holiday pay", which surely has to be paid for all employees?

I mean, I get that it's annoying to have to pay for cover, but the way you've written it, it sounds like mothers working part-time are causing you two additional sources of expenditure, not just one.

Overall, I'm quite depressed at the "that's just the way it is"/"huh? Why should you get family-friendly hours?" nature of the comments on this thread. The way this country discourages mothers from getting back into the workforce is a scandal. Not just for the mothers themselves but society at large. But, we all have to work this magical 37.5hours a week, apparently, otherwise the world would stop turning.

Small businesses don't always need the cover, the entirety of my job can be done in my 10 hours/week because I'm not customer facing and I'm only working with 10 other people. In a similar company of 50 people you would need a fulltime me. I have a second similar job that only needs me for 5 hours a week because that is all that is needed for that function in the business, which is quite niche.

Barclays do great flexible hours working. Lots of people I worked with in branch had differing hours so they could pick up kids. I did 9-3. It was a fucking horrible job and low paid but the hours were great!

I work part time term time in a boarding school. I work in the office admin side but there are plenty of other roles, fees managers, accounts assistants, receptionists etc. All term time only as when the children have returned home the work dries up.

"But, we all have to work this magical 37.5hours a week, apparently, otherwise the world would stop turning."

Nobody is actually saying that the OP has to/should have to work full time. The issue here is that she doesn't just want part time, she wants a job that enables her to do school drop off and pick up five days a week and not work any school holidays. The vast majority of posters haven't accused OP of being unreasonable to want this but are simply pointing out that it might not be realistic (although there have also been some helpful suggestions as to routes she could think about) because it isn't realistic for most people. Even the parents I know who work in schools (which is a lot, due to the nature of my job) don't have working hours that enable them to drop their kids off and pick up every day.

I don't think that the majority view here is that OP is unreasonable to want family friendly hours, but that for a job to be 'family friendly' doesn't necessarily have to mean that you have the exact same time with your kids that you have as a SAHM.

I work for the NHs, have done for seven years. For the last six I've been school hours, negotiated when my dds were 4 and 7. And I've changed jobs twice since then but still school hours. Good luck hope you get what you want x

The vast majority of posters haven't accused OP of being unreasonable to want this but are simply pointing out that it might not be realistic

I think it's a sad thing that the working culture in this country expects workers to put in so many hours every day. How many times we've heard women have to stop working because the father works all hours? It's not good for the children to be working 70-90 hours week and never seeing their dads either.

While that's true, plenty of people have pointed out that it's not just the hours but the distribution of them that are less realistic. There are loads of people in the country working 16-20 hours a week, which seems to be around what OP would want to do on average. Considerably fewer of them are doing those hours 9.30-2.30, 39 weeks a year. OP would broaden her options considerably if she were also willing to consider other part time work patterns.

For example lots of jobs in schools are longer than the children's day, meaning you need wraparound, but get the holidays off. Someone who isn't willing to do anything above school hours would miss out on these, and yet most people doing them would say they were pretty family friendly. Or there are 9-5 gigs 2 or 3 days a week, where again you'd need wraparound but just a couple of days a week, then save up annual leave for the holidays and accept that for 2 weeks of the summer they're going to be in a playscheme. This is always supposing such childcare exists locally, of course, but that's a separate issue again. So I don't think we can paint this specifically as a long hours thing. It's a very particular hours thing. Lots of jobs can't be done in the exact hours OP wants but could meet some of her requirements.

There are options to explore, however all depend on having a reliable source of income from elsewhere. Dinner lady/TA/telesales etc are unlikely alone to provide sufficient income to pay most families' bills.

So provided your comfortable you have savings to protect you/your family from redundancy/divorce/illness impacting the main income then you have options to explore.

Incidentally 9.30am-2.30pm is unlikely to fit around the school day in London, with most peoples commutes meaning they'd need more like 10am-2pm. Which partly explains why I know absolutely noone who works schools hours/terms only, even in the public sector.

OP, what is it that you actually WANT out of a job? Is it to earn money, or to keep you busy, to use your brain, to give back? I think once you've established this you might be able to focus on specifics a bit more.

Would you consider voluntary work? Loads of charities would welcome extra help, and this is more likely to be available on your terms time-wise.

If you want something paid, it's more likely to be a case of either starting your own business (which I doubt will give you the work life balance you are looking for) or adjusting your expectation in terms of salary/job level (in terms of using your brain).

I am incredibly lucky and work in a school, in a somewhat watered down version of my pre-kids career, but still something that allows me to use my brain and feel like I'm contributing to the place as a whole. I work 3 days per week, year round, although there may be scope to balance my hours more towards term time once DD starts school.

In my team there are a few term time workers, although most do work full days (8-4 ish). A couple of roles fit round term time only - we sometimes design these specially to attract more experienced/higher level workers who are willing to downsize their salary expectation significantly to get a job that fits so neatly into their lifestyle. I work in an office in an independent school, rather than on the teaching side.

If this is the sort of thing you are willing to consider, I would suggest a few things:

1. Volunteer in a school. Get experience so you will be well placed for any paid roles that come up.
2. Think carefully about what hours you would be prepared to work, both within and out of school hours, and the level of 'extra' you could commit to (don't forget INSET days, nightmare for childcare as most school staff need to work them!)
3. Keep an eye on Greensheets (schoolvacancies.co.uk) as this is a great hunting ground for jobs, and will give you an idea of what might be available.
4. Be patient. If you are prepared to wait, you never know what might turn up.

I do think you sound like you want it all, but why the heck shouldn't you? I suspect we all do really, and it's a case of deciding how much you can/want to compromise as inevitably this will have to happen to some extent. Best of luck with finding something that suits.