to hope for a job that fits around my kids and school???

[susieb19]

I went back to work when my dds were 8 months and 2months old. I hated the conflict it created in me. Lllllllong story. I did it for two years and then my boss asked me one day had I found an after school club that I liked for when they started school. Something in me clicked and six months later I walked out of the office and never looked back. It took me years to be able to even look at photos of my girls during the time I was working. Anyway I didn't mean to turn this into a therapy session - just giving a bit of background. I walked away from a high paying, relatively mentally stimulating career. I appreciate that I am lucky to be in a position to have a choice about working.
I would like to contribute something and use my brain some more. But aibu to want something that fits around my children???? Outside of becoming a T.A what is there??? I know so many people like me with something to contribute but left not knowing where to turn. I am concluding starting my own business is the only way ahead??? Anyone else feel the same...

Oh and should have said - DH retrained to be a teacher so holidays are covered that way. Made sense for him to retrain and not me.

I work for a local authority - five days a week, 9:30 to 2:45. I am one of those who negotiated a part time contact with an existing employer who didn't want to lose me. But there are a lot of people in local government with very flexible working hours, so it's a sector that is worth keeping an eye on.

I think you'd have to accept that school holidays will require childcare, though. Generally I convert my five short days into three long days and juggle assorted childcare options (holiday schemes, grandparents, friends, occasionally working from home now the kids are old enough to let me) madly to make it work.

Lots of working parents would like to pick up DC after school and have all school holidays off. Of course we would! But this isn't easily compatible with lots of kinds of paid work.

Having a career and fitting it around dc works best when both parents do their bit. If it all falls on one parent it is much harder to find something.

I work 7am to 3:45pm 4 days a week and 7am to noon on a Friday = 38 hours. If I need to work extra hours I can work though lunch or WFH with laptop.

dh/ds get up in the morning about an hour after I leave and dh does the packed lunch and drops at school before heading to his work at 9am. I'm home for 4:15pm so ds gets an enjoyable hour at afterschool having a small snack and playing with his friends. I'm home in plenty of time for dinner/homework/afterschool activities etc. dh gets home around 5-6pm.

It is possible - look at FE Colleges and universities as well. I work 9.30 - 2.15 in a local college in an admin role - half my previous salary but lovely place to work, interesting job and perfect for kids. I do work through the holidays though. I applied through an ad in the local paper.

Also recently had an interview for a term-time part-time role in local govt which I sadly didn't get, but proves there are some jobs are out there.

I work from home I still use after school clubs three times a week and holiday clubs. I do take my kids to school every day though and I csn nip to school events. Working from home doesn't mean looking after kids at same time. I work for an international company.
In my experience on
Y jobs in schools are school hours. Even if you had a job 9.30-2.30 you still have a school holidays issue.
Starting your own business takes up more hours than having a job.

OP - You seem to have gone from one extreme to the other.

Is there/could there be a balance to be found with your dp? I also like to be there for pick up and I am, but dp does drop off so I can get an early start and works from home the occasional day work commitments mean I can't get home in time. This year we have about two weeks off together and the rest seperately to cover school holidays and insets. With that approach there's only 10 days across a whole year they won't be with one or both of us. The side effect is that the kids have an equally strong relationship with both of us.

Could you take this approach?

Cross post with wings, who seems to have a similiar set up to us :)

A friend now works school hours only. She started off using her pre DC skills on a voluntary basis for a charity and now is employed by them. From your OP it sounds like you want to use skills rather than focus on the money - could this be a way in for you?

I've got one DD so appreciate it might be different for those with more. But I did it. I freelanced after she was born, then through that found a part time work from home job which allowed me to do school drop offs/pick ups, juggle my hours around assemblies and parent meetings and have Fridays off. I worked in the holidays but still from home so was always around for DD. She is a teen now and I finally went back to work full time outside the home around 18 months ago.

It sounds ideal but in reality it obviously meant I didn't earn as much so I also freelanced in the evening and at weekends, sometimes working very long hours which could be stressful. Working for yourself can be a nightmare - I spent as much time on accounts and admin as I did doing my job - and at times when work was thin on the ground we were pretty skint. We relied on DH's income to an extent that he became ill through the pressure although he is fine now. We built up a fair bit of debt. Working remotely for my main job meant I was never really seen as part of the team or treated the way an in-house staff member would be. It was also very lonely at times.

That said I wouldnt change a thing. I was incredibly lucky to find flexible work in my field although it was my background before I had DD that made me 'appealing' to employers and clients. I will never regret doing it the way we did although when I look at the material things friends who've always worked full time have it's hard sometimes hard not to be envious. But we are getting there now and to me no amount of 'stuff' could replace the time I was able to spend with my DD.

So yes it can be done but I think it's important to be realistic about how hard it can be - I don't think there is any easy option when you're a working parent :).

YABVU.

Many many people hate their jobs. Men and women alike. When you see that guy collecting your rubbish, do you really think he likes doing it? You are lucky to not have to work. Most men have to support their family. Society doesn't approve of them opting out.

Enjoy your time. Find an interesting hobby. Volunteer in the community.

And you have admitted it. You sound like you want it all! There has to be sacrifice somewhere. Either career progression and children time.

OP, have you seen this thread?

I work part-time flexi hours but I still need aftercare on some days for dd. The real problem starts at 11 when there is no aftercare available. I plan to start my own business, I've been making moves towards this for years now and I feel like I'm nearly set.

Most parents I know work part-time and use childminders and aftercare.

I work part time (0.5 FTE) in a challenging job - for me that's the best of both worlds.

Have you considered retraining to do something that can be done during the hours you have available? If you are numerate then something like book keeping which can be done from home. My SIL has trained as a counsellor which she can do whenever she wants to. Copywriting could be done at any time. There are options so it would help to have a clear idea of what you want and where you want to be in, say five years.

I went from one extreme to the other. Working ridiculous hours after going back after each child, an epiphany of sorts when I realised I had absolutely no life outside of work and barely saw kids (and when I did I was still in 'work mode' as I would be about to get the books open again). A fortuitously timed and financially favourable voluntary redundancy process made my decision for me. A long career break while my kids were pre school means I now see the huge personal advantages of being around my kids pre and post school. Had I not given up work I'd never have known. My hubby earns stacks more than me so doesn't make sense to share and we felt one of us having free reign to pursue a career wholeheartedly was a better option for us than each of us having our wings clipped. We work in the same field and it is a career of progression.

I was presented with a self employed option, extremely rare in my field, by pure luck. It can happen but it's very rare. I work pre school/school hours and some evenings if i need to when kids in bed. But for that I'd be seeking a school based TA position too. Not sure it would be my natural career choice otherwise but, for me, the advantages of being around my kids before and after school would trump the potential negatives (it's surely a truth universally acknowledged that all in education, particularly TAs who in my view are as important as teachers, don't get paid enough and are undervalued in general). It would have been a massive pay cut for me but it would have been worth it. Could have branched out closer to my field when kids older and 12 hours out of the house is less knackering for them and less guilt inducing for us.

We have a fab ASC at our school, great staff, very happy kids, constructive activity. It's brilliant, but it's not home. Op, you aren't being unreasonable to make the best choices for your family and in being frustrated that the business community can't see your worth and isn't prepared to give you a go. But I can also see that business doesn't stop during school holidays. When I read a PP saying you were trying to have it all, I immediately bristled, but maybe we are?

I expect you will find something but it might take longer. Don't rule out applying for full-time positions but either contact the hiring manager or recruiter in advance to discuss flexibility. I ended up getting a great part-time role even though it was originally advertised as 40 hours and since I've joined two colleagues have been able to negotiate reduced hours too and we'll be recruiting an additional part timer shortly. However I did confirm they would accept a part-time application.

I did exactly the same thing and now work as an NVQ (well QCF but let's not split hairs) assessor. I am full time now although still write my own diary so, for example, I have worked longer days from Monday-Wednesday this week and done my admin in the evening and had Thurs and Fri off. When I first qualified I was part time-so three days a week technically-but I spread the hours over the week and dropped my children to school then finished in time to pick them up. Sometimes I had paperwork to do in the evening still but I could (and still do) do this in my pyjamas with a glass of wine cup of tea. You have to teach as well as assess, certainly gets your grey matter going. You'll never make a fortune out of it but the pay is fair too. I work for a lovely training provider who are pretty much all over the country. Can't recommend it and them enough as an option.

I agree with poster up thread. I work in the NHS and they do full time salaries for pt hours which means I'm paid the right hourly rate for my specialism despite being pt. School holidays does need childcare but dh and I try to share it to keep to a minimum. Dh takes to school in the morning and I collect. If the right job comes up, ask the question re pt.

I know of quite a few mums who only work school hours and term time only, and although the roles are hard to come by its not impossible. One is a security guard in a court, another works in a banks call centre and one is a charity fundraiser.

As for all of you saying there is nothing wrong with after school care, this is not what the poster wants and fair enough to her, she would like to be there for her kids.

A lot of full time positions can be negotiated to part time, as Braeburns has mentioned.

Keep looking, you will find something.

I think it's hard to find something that ticks all he boxes. There aren't that many businesses that can cope with someone disappearing for all the school holidays. I work from home doing admin and accounts 9am to 3pm for a sole trader. It's good for dropping off and picking up and slipping out for an hour for school events. But the work doesn't conveniently stop coming in school holidays. So I used to use holiday childcare. Now mine are older they hang around the house during holidays which can be boring for them, although I try to take them out around 3pm. There's no cover for my role so to take holidays I have to do a lot of extra work before and after. I don't get many. But I think what people forget is that it's temporary. In a couple of years mine will be getting to school by themselves and quite capable of letting themselves in and making a snack for an hour. I might well look for a job out of home at that point, as it's isolating being on your own all day.

I was lucky enough to find a small business with an enlightened female ceo - sadly she died of cancer two years ago - who let me work school hours and gabe me a chance to switch from my legal career (wholly incompatible with small kids) to something IT related. It can be mind numbing but can be fab and I work 25 hours 9.30 to 3 mon to fri. I can flex days in the holidays by working extra hours when kids with exH and cover school hols with a mix of leave, unpaid parental leave and exH (I am v lucky he is a teacher) and the odd day at holiday club or with my DM. I don't earn much but get tax credits and survive but it is always a juggle and I'm always rushing from work to school or vice versa. Good luck op. I feel that jobs with family friendly hours are like gold dust.

What about just working 3 days a week or so? Then you still get 4 days of being around every week?
Or something like working on reception? Around here reception type jobs are usually always 9-1pm and 1-5pm type shifts

I worry about your first post to be honest. Not being able to look at pictures of that time for example. It's quite an extreme reaction even if you were under stress. Have you ever spoken to anyone about these feelings?

I work evenings and weekends as a freelancer. It means I can spend time with DS during the day, while DH takes over when he gets home. Not going to lie, it's bloody exhausting, but at least working from home is quite nice. I can also take unpaid leave when I need to for holidays etc. Once DS is at school I will probably switch to working 9.30ish til 3pm. I know a few mums who work in customer service etc from home, so there are a few jobs.