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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'D'H has just thrown up all over the bedroom carpet...

122 replies

Vebrithien · 15/02/2016 18:38

After REFUSING to have a bowl next to him.
Am 14 weeks pregnant and have just had to clear up the mess.
AIBU to not feel very sympathetic now?

OP posts:
Pidapie · 15/02/2016 18:40

I would refuse to clean up his mess. He's an adult.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/02/2016 18:41

"have just had to clear up the mess."
Why? He made the mess, he clears it up, surely? Especially since he took no steps to prevent the mess in the first place.

FairyDustDreamer · 15/02/2016 18:42

I would not be pleased.
Was he too ill to clear up?
He would have a bowl on his head now....

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 15/02/2016 18:43

Really?

Adults clean up their own puke, surely?

Tangfastics · 15/02/2016 18:43

Is he ill or drunk?

AtSea1979 · 15/02/2016 18:44

What would your DH do if you were out or he lived on his own?

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 15/02/2016 18:45

I would not have cleared that up.

If it had come without warning (would have to be pretty sudden and violent for an adult to not make it to a toilet) I'd have had some sympathy.

gleekster · 15/02/2016 18:46

Why did you have to clear up the mess?

DickDewy · 15/02/2016 18:47

Why on earth did you have to clean it up?

PotteringAlong · 15/02/2016 18:47

Ill or drunk? If he is so ill he couldn't make it to the bathroom I'd have no worries cleaning it up.

acasualobserver · 15/02/2016 18:48

I can't see why anyone would refuse a bowl or bucket by the bed if they were in danger of vomiting. This aspect of the story makes me very unsympathetic to your DH.

VagueIdeas · 15/02/2016 18:49

If he has a bug you shouldn't be clearing it up, because you're pregnant and hardly want to catch it.

He's an idiot for not having a bowl, basically.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 15/02/2016 18:49

He was ill, possibly food poisoning from food at work.
To be fair, it's the first time he's been sick in over 15 years, don't think he was expecting it.
He is now 'locked' in the bathroom.
There is nowhere else for me to sleep, if I hadn't cleaned it up. And it would have set on the carpet.
Just annoyed that he didn't believe me when I suggested that a bowl might be a good idea.

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 15/02/2016 18:50

It depends.

If he's drunk, he needs to clean up and apologise profusely.

If he's ill, why on earth would you not help him? I would be pretty annoyed if DP was right there when I threw up, and then made me clean up after myself if I had a bug or food poisoning. Sometimes bugs don't give you enough warning to get to the toilet!

Theimpossiblegirl · 15/02/2016 18:54

If he's ill, it's forgivable, especially if he is 'never' sick (until now).

Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 18:56

So ill people should clean up their own vomit? Really?

Yes, the OP is pregnant but with rubber gloves proper hygiene measures and disinfectant she is at no more risk of catching the bug than if she didn't clean it up.

He should agree to have a bucket beside him though after the initial bout caught him out.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/02/2016 18:56

It's rubbish for you, but it sounds like he's genuinely ill and it was unexpected.
I'd refuse a bowl too, since I am never sick and the last time I was and didn't make the toilet I was about 7.

Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 18:57

Just realised he refused the bowl before he was sick.

That was very daft of him.

wonderingsoul · 15/02/2016 18:59

Ybu he's ill.. I would be really upset if my dp got all pissy with me when I was unwell and had just thrown up then made me clean it up.

Pregnant or not.. Long as you use gloves the risk of getting the bug is no higher.

MsJamieFraser · 15/02/2016 19:01

If he was locked in the bathroom and was ill then I would personally see no issue with cleaning it up.

If he hasn't been sick in years, and just felt sick then yes I personally wouldn't have had a bowl beside me also, it's just one of those things, neither is BU

abbsismyhero · 15/02/2016 19:03

yes of course ill people clean their own vomit up im a single parent i puke scrub then disinfect i don't want the kids catching my bugs that's irresponsible of me

ElderlyKoreanLady · 15/02/2016 19:03

I would be pretty annoyed if DP was right there when I threw up, and then made me clean up after myself if I had a bug or food poisoning.

Really? If that's part of being in a relationship, I've been doing it wrong. But then, I am single Grin

Seriously though, I don't think I've ever known adults outside of a care setting/role clean up other adults' vomit.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2016 19:04

Even when ill, unless completely incapacitated, adults clean up their own sick.

peggyundercrackers · 15/02/2016 19:08

Some people need to make sure their halo doesn't slip or it's going to choke them.

If he was ill and not expecting it then Yabu.

wonderingsoul · 15/02/2016 19:08

Of course if your on your own or one is out you clean it up your self .. but as a loving partner I would want to make it easier for my loved one and do what I could do to help, just like my partner would do for me. No biggie

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