Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'D'H has just thrown up all over the bedroom carpet...

122 replies

Vebrithien · 15/02/2016 18:38

After REFUSING to have a bowl next to him.
Am 14 weeks pregnant and have just had to clear up the mess.
AIBU to not feel very sympathetic now?

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 15/02/2016 19:11

I'm glad my relationship doesn't work like some of the above, tbh. I've looked after DP with a stomach bug plenty of times - and he's done the same for me! Yes, people should try and aim for a sink/bowl/the toilet but it doesn't always work out that way, and I would rather clean it myself and get them rested than make them clean up puke when they're sick.

And yes, if he was out, of course I would do it myself, but if he was right there and just let me get on with it, I'd be a bit Hmm to be honest.

HermioneJeanGranger · 15/02/2016 19:11

x-post with wonderingsoul :)

MatildaTheCat · 15/02/2016 19:11

Not nice but think of all the brownie points you've banked. Just keep a record. Smile

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/02/2016 19:13

If it is food poisoning, it's awful. When I had it, I could barely move and it went from feeling off colour to projectile vomiting very rapidly. Feel a bit sorry for him actually.
Agree, a large bowl is essential but if it's both ends best to stay in bathroom.
(Bicarbonate of soda great for getting sicky smell out of carpets.)

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 15/02/2016 19:16

Liberal use of bicarb, vacuum it up, then biological washing powder dissolved in water.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 15/02/2016 19:18

Thanks Lost it, have just dumped a whole pot of bicarb over the remaining damp patch.
It wasn't the being sick that was the issue, it was him refusing a bowl when I offered! Don't think he'll dare refuse it again!
And Matilda, on the topic of brownie points, I only found out last week, that DH thinks that brownie points mean that you get made chocolate brownies, when you have enough points

OP posts:
diddl · 15/02/2016 19:18

Well I would have just put a bowl there.

Would also have been tempted to make him clean it up!

Sallystyle · 15/02/2016 19:19

DH would clean up my vomit.

I have been vomiting for the last two days and thankfully made it to the toilet but if I hadn't he would do it for me and wouldn't dream of 'letting' me do it.

I would do it for him if he was ill but I would probably vomit myself while cleaning his up so he would most likely tell me not to clean it up and do it himself.

It's just about being nice isn't it? I would be quite hurt if I was locked in the bathroom throwing up and dh left the sick for me to clean up. It's not very thoughtful.

Terribleknitter · 15/02/2016 19:23

This is why neither of us actually give anyone the option of a sick bowl - they just get given one and told to throw up in it Smile
We even clear up after each other if it's an illness, slightly weird and nasty to make a sick person clean up vomit IMO, it can only make them feel worse and possibly vomit again surely? It would certainly do that to me and I'd feel pretty shit if I was just left to clean it up while a healthy adult was just sat there.
We keep a couple of old mixing bowls upstairs as sick bowls, the last bout of D&V taught me that 5 people all leaking explosively at both ends can't possibly just use one toilet for a 48 hour bug!

peggyundercrackers · 15/02/2016 19:24

I can imagine if someone came on saying I had food poisoning and threw up but DH told me to clean it up myself because I'm and adult and don't need looking after the man would get ripped a new arsehole...

Finola1step · 15/02/2016 19:25

DH would clean up my vomit. I would clean up his. But this is only if ill. If self induced through alcohol consumption, then then help is minimal.

That said, in 20 years together this has happened very rarely. I have always made it to the loo on the very rare occasion of over drinking. And dh has only had to clear up after me when my labour with ds started.

We had to clear up after each other when we both went down with terrible food poisoning on holiday. Now that was a joy!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/02/2016 19:30

Well done OP. Just keep him at arms reach and keep washing your hands as you don't want to catch a nasty bug when pregnant. Smile

Smells were magnified for me in early pregnancy for some reason so I understand your revulsion. He can make you some brownies when he's better!

RedFlagsOnTheRight · 15/02/2016 19:37

If DH was ill and threw up, I'd clean it up and be sympathetic. But then I had HG and often threw up in the bedroom/car/various other places and he was always kind about it and took care of me (and cleaned up when I was too ill to do so). I had bowls and sick bags but couldn't always grab them in time.
I was sick 10-15x day for 8months!

Try not to humiliate him or make him feel worse.

mellicauli · 15/02/2016 19:45

Washing your hands is not enough! I would definitely sleep in another room if you can.

When he is better he needs to change the sheets and wash any clothes/pillows etc that may have been contaminated separately from yours.

Unborn babies may be able to cope with random viruses - but they won't cope with all of them, so why take the risk?

teeththief · 15/02/2016 19:46

If I was sick my DH would clean it up. I wouldn't be able to clean his up without vomiting myself though. I can't even clean up my Dc's vomit without being sick too. I hate it but can't help it.

Op YANBU because he refused the bowl

eastpregnant · 15/02/2016 19:47

If he were drunk I would not be sympathetic. But if ill I'd forgive him!

BlueRaptor · 15/02/2016 19:47

I think sometimes (especially if you're not sick often, like you said your DH wasn't) you don't expect to be sick and then it just happens, hence he might've refused the bowl.

A few years ago I was at my mums and felt a bit dodgy. We were in the kitchen when I suddenly realised I was about to be sick, tried to run to the bathroom and ended up chundering all over her lovely new wallpaper Blush

She cleaned it up for me while I continued to vom in the bathroom. Woops!

MadHattersWineParty · 15/02/2016 19:48

I was sick in the bathroom yesterday, I mostly made it but It took me by surprise and unfortunately made a mess. My DP passed me the cleaning stuff through the door, I cleaned it up. I'd have felt terrible asking him to do it, (although I'm sure he would have done it if he'd had to)

But yeah, as an adult I think you have to clean up your own sick if you're able.

abbsismyhero · 15/02/2016 19:52

am i the only one who feels better after they throw up? im usually fine to clean up after because i feel so much better?

i accept im in a minority as you were Wink Grin

but seriously cleaning an adults vomit makes me heave my dd is nearly 16 and i can feel myself heaving cleaning up after her it must be psychological i don't have that reaction with her 7&3 year old brothers and its only began happening recently with her Confused

Dungandbother · 15/02/2016 19:54

Op
Do you have another bathroom? Don't share with him for a few days. And bleach the sink, flush taps etc. Sounds like a sick bug to me !

Hygiene. He must scrub and wash his hands a lot and after every bout. Avoid him!!!!

ephemeralfairy · 15/02/2016 19:57

Jesus. I am emetophobic. I would be out of the door and halfway down the road. No way would I clear it up or even be in the same house for a few days if possible. (DP knows this about me)
I need to sort out some sort of therapy for it, I know Sad

But no. You should not have to clear it up!!

Original poster
Vebrithien · 15/02/2016 20:03

Got a downstairs toilet, in the v old extension. It's currently about 11 degrees C in there, but I might just put up with it.
Bedroom is all clean now, am feeling better now the smell has gone. My sense of smell has been through the roof recently, which might explain my lack of sympathy.
Think I might sleep on the sofa tonight though!
Thanks of listening and responding.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 15/02/2016 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seastargirl · 15/02/2016 20:04

My husband regularly emptied my sick bucket when I was suffering with horrendous morning sickness. It worked out well as he's no longer squeamish about sick and cleans up after the kids with no issues. Before I got pregnant he would wretch at the thought of someone being sick!

I would clean up after any adult I loved if they were genuinely ill.

Pootle40 · 15/02/2016 20:08

Is it just me.....since I was about 12 I've always been sick in the toilet....