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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this poster in a train station wrong?

781 replies

megadude · 15/02/2016 16:43

Hi Mumsnetters,

I'd be interested to read your opinions about this poster. I don't want to say right now what I think about it, as I'd like to know how you'd interpret it.

TIA,
Megadude

To find this poster in a train station wrong?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
FayKorgasm · 15/02/2016 16:59

Oh I get it. Its totally about bringing a coat with you when you go out. Those women are not wearing much and its chilly outside. Thats totally what they mean about taking extra care. And bring a coat for your friend in case she forgets her coat.Yes thats it.

Original poster
megadude · 15/02/2016 17:00

That's how I interpreted it alltouchedout, but I've had people deny there's any hinting on rape and assault, and others saying it's good to spread awareness.

OP posts:
wickedwaterwitch · 15/02/2016 17:00

YANBU - it's the same old victim blaming bullshit but that it's in a station, in the 21st century just goes to show that we've still got a long way to go (as if we doubted it)

I was going to post that men's guide to not being a rapist but someone beat me to it. Now THOSE in a railway station...

Sallyingforth · 15/02/2016 17:02

Well I'll stand up to be counted for this.

I take it to be a sensible reminder that there are some dodgy characters about and I should not be taking any unnecessary risks.

Now hit me.

Pantone363 · 15/02/2016 17:03

A man was raped a few months ago in the town I live in, after a night out, by another group of men.

Not one of the comments in the paper asked why he was out at night, what he was wearing, or how drunk he was (quite rightly)

In fact they were 100% sickened by the idea that a bloke could be raped on his way home from town, lots of calls for police action, eyewitnesses, some crap about refugees and just general disbelief.

Was the polar opposite of the responses a story of female rape would get (if it even made the papers)

wickedwaterwitch · 15/02/2016 17:03

Lol Faykorgasm

BackforGood · 15/02/2016 17:04

Another who agrees it's just reminding people to take care, and that sadly there are the occasional aggressor out there who will take advantage of a vulnerable young woman out alone.

I don't see that as victim blaming any more than I would if I remind my dc to keep their purse/wallet tucked safely away when they are going to be in a crowd where there are likely to be pickpockets, or I remind my student dc not to leave anything valuable in a student house burglars know is likely to be empty over the Christmas holidays, or any of my driving dc not to leave things on view when a car is left parked and empty, etc.,etc.etc.

It's not "victim blaming". It's a reminder that there are things you can do which might not guarantee your safety, might help prevent you being the victim of a crime.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2016 17:05

I wouldn't give it a second glance either.

WileHallion · 15/02/2016 17:07

So am I victim blaming if I teach DD not to drink so much she becomes incapacitated? Not to get separated from her friends or to leave any of her friends on their own? Not to walk through dodgy parts of town? Not to leave her drink unattended in a venue? To only get licensed taxis and not accept lifts from strangers?

To me, that's just teaching your child to be sensible.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/02/2016 17:07

Yes when I said "I don't see much wrong with it either" I meant that I understand that it's aimed at women presumably to be safe against potential rapists or muggers.

FayKorgasm · 15/02/2016 17:08

Pantone whilst what happened to the man was terrible you can't help but see how a female victim would be reported. Until a time comes when we can leave our breasts mouths hands vaginas and bums at home women are at risk.

gooseberryroolz · 15/02/2016 17:09

I looked at the picture and my first assumption was that it was to do with drunk people (many of them in heels) falling between train and platform. There have been a few cases in recent years. Is it not that, then?

usual · 15/02/2016 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineyReborn · 15/02/2016 17:09

The point is about agency.

Rapists rape. They are the agents. Tell them not to rape. Stop them raping. Make them not rape. Publicise that.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 15/02/2016 17:10

I think it's just reminding people to be careful, being drunk can make you more likely to fall, get caught in train doors, slip on the stairs (which there are at Cambridge, even if no escalators), and so on. Keep valuables with you, make sure your friends aren't too drunk to get home, cycle carefully, don't drive, all that sort of thing. i didn't read it as anything specifically about rape. Agreed, it should have shown men as well, but even without that, my first thought was still that it was about general safety after getting drunk, especially wearing heels and floating clothes that could get caught. I guess I was influenced by all those posters in the tube about how alcohol makes it more likely that you'll fall etc.

gooseberryroolz · 15/02/2016 17:10

Isn't 'look out for each other' good advice for young people out socialising, anyway? In many senses?

catsinthecraddle · 15/02/2016 17:10

not again.
It's not about blaming the victims, but to remind people to be careful.

If you go shopping in Oxford Street with your handbag open, what are the chances of your wallet being stolen? It's not fair, it's not right, but it happens. And I am sorry, but yes, it is a bit your fault not to take care of your wallet. We don't live in an ideal world.

Reminding women not to jump in a random mini-cab in the street is not blaming the victims either. It's just reinforcing that shit happens and to be careful. What's wrong with that!

usual · 15/02/2016 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

landrover · 15/02/2016 17:12

I think its fine.

gooseberryroolz · 15/02/2016 17:12

Maybe there is a counterpart poster featuring young men?

AlpacaMyThings · 15/02/2016 17:13

But if it saves one 'women' from attack then that's a good thing surly?

Ultimately we are responsible for our own safety so how does a reminder hurt?

FayKorgasm · 15/02/2016 17:13

Note to self* Do not go out for a night on the razz with your vagina in a position of easy access for rapists. Lock that thing away.

blindsider · 15/02/2016 17:13

sallyingforth

Well I'll stand up to be counted for this.

I take it to be a sensible reminder that there are some dodgy characters about and I should not be taking any unnecessary risks.

I totally agree, it is an inescapable fact of life that Women are at greater risk if somewhat Alcohol impaired, it isn't victim blaming at all, it is a reminder to be extra vigilant, which seems eminently sensible to me.

wickedwaterwitch · 15/02/2016 17:14

It is indeed about agency lineyreborn

LineyReborn · 15/02/2016 17:14

I'm NOT responsible if I am raped. The rapist is.

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