to leave my baby in the garden to sleep?

[SashaFierce99]

With three older siblings, it's difficult for baby to nap uninterrupted at the weekend/in holidays. She's just over a year old so still needs at least one long or two short naps per day. When her siblings are off we tend to walk/scoot/skate/bike to the park before her nap and she falls asleep in the pushchair on the way home. I then leave her in the front garden in front of the kitchen window and DCs and I paint/bake/draw in the kitchen so she's in sight at all times.

Today we did the above but there was a knock at the door ten minutes after we arrived home. It was a neighbour advising me that it's too cold and too dangerous to leave her unsupervised outside. I explained that I can see her and she's well wrapped up (full body vest, outfit on top plus jumper, double socks and full snow suit and hat) so she's fine but the neighbour kept saying I should take her inside. I politely declined and said I needed to get back to the other DC. She muttered about how I'll end up 'getting reported to someone'...!

AIBU to leave her outside?

Bit offtopic but this reminded me about this bit of a scandal we had in the media in my original country a few years ago. A couple living abroad in a Western European country put their baby out in the garden to sleep. Neighbours called the social services and the parents had all kids of trouble.

Everybody was outraged - but that's what we do, all normal, everybody would, fresh air, overprotective nanny state etc etc.

Only later it emerged that the couple in question had left the baby in the communal, totally open playground, shared by several large apartment buildings, while they both went to the supermarket.

(this is obviously not something we would consider normal and acceptable).

when I pick him up his hands or face are freezing Hands shouldn't be freezing - make sure they're well wrapped up in warm mittens and tucked inside sleeping bag/blankets. Its ok if the face feels cold though.

When I was a baby it was common to leave me at the bottom of the garden watching the birds it was to get fresh air. I would put my baby outside my kitchen window while I did the washing up my neighbour also came round but all was well . Baby's need fresh air but supervised if it's in your garden you would need to put a cat net on the pram also if you have cats .Cats can suffocate the baby's as they like warm places to sleep . If a baby's properly supervised and not left for long it should be ok .Babies also carnt regulate there bodies so overheating is also a danger. I carnt see a social worker visiting unless there are other issues with the family.

I'm also struggling to see why it's ok for Scandinavian babies but not for precious British ones. Just like it's ok for German 6 year olds to walk to school by themselves, but not British ones. I think we need to get over ourselves. And I say that as someone who is very overprotective and knows she needs to lighten up.*

I should think there are many contributing factors as to why we are acting like we live in Scandinavia, presumably the roads are not so busy, schools are not as far from homes as they are here, the population being significantly lower in relation to space. Also there is not the protective huddle of prams in a snowdrift to park your own against. I won't be demanding my DS walk 45mins to school crossing the railway and dual carriageways on his own when he turns 6 later this year to appease you.

Why we arent acting like w live in Scandinavia

A baby in its pram outside your front door is highly unlikely to come to any harm. I cannot believe people would seriously worry about this. And I am a worrier!

Cats can suffocate the baby's as they like warm places to sleep

Yes, cat's do like warm places to sleep but there are no instances of a cat ever suffocating a baby - another old wife's tale.

Nets are useful to keep insects out and stop nosy people breathing all over pfb and also to help in the event of an alien attack or zombie apocalypse

The population density in Scotland is very low - maybe that's why we are more like Scandinavia and less like England?

when I pick him up his hands or face are freezing

You need to wrap him up better. It's only safe if they're warm and because you need to wrap them in layers those layers need to be breathable natural materials

Wool base layers can be gotten from h and m cheaply for babies. Then you need a few layers of warm clothes, blankets or a very good pram bag. I have this one - www.voksi.com/products/sleeping-bags-for-children/urban
A sheepskin to line the pram is a good idea too. And something to keep the wind off but make sure you still have decent air glow.
It's ok for the face yo be a little cool but hands should be toasty! Decent mitts or wool socks over the arms then tuck them in well.

For very cold days (under -15) I check exposed skin every 10 mins or so, but that's not likely to be an issue in the uk!

Why we arent acting like w live in Scandinavia

I Scotland we copy a lot of Scandi ideas, especially in education/social work although spending cut will likely stop this.

Scotland is more like Scandinavia than England?

That's a new one on me!

Do people still perpetuate the cat suffocating baby myth?
Here is the recorded case

One case from 300 years ago may have given this tale all the oomph it needed to reach its current scare level. In the Annual Register, a publication that records the year’s interesting events, there is an entry for Jan. 25, 1791: “A child of eighteen months old was found dead near Plymouth; and it appeared, on the coroner's inquest, that the child died in consequence of a cat sucking its breath, thereby occasioning a strangulation." Coroner knows best, so it must be true, right?

Do you have a back garden that is more secure, could you put rain cover over?

Mitzy in terms of babies sleeping outside - seems very common in Scotland but rarer in England.

I stand corrected then biscuits :o

One extremely dubious case from 225 years ago rather than none...

..and there is no way that an 18 month old child would not resist being suffocated by a cat - the cat would have to be about 4 stone and feisty to overpower an 18 month child.

Nothing wrong with leaving a baby outside in a pram to sleep, wrapped up and warm and with the hood up on the buggy/pram.
Just how many people are walking around looking for unattended babies to snatch? The risk is minimal. There are nets and covers you can buy to stop insects or pests getting into the pram.
There is far too much fear and paranoia.

My DD is 8 now but when she was newborn my midwife said this to me 'get your baby wrapped up snug, put her in her pram and in the garden'.

I did most days and she slept really well, I had to put a cat net over the pram as I had three nosey cats though.

Ignore neighbour you do what's best for you.

I think it also depends how many dc you have and age gaps. Mine cried at times as I had to get the older one to nursery/school etc and I had 3 under 4. I don't think it is anything to feel guilty about.

You have things to do and if you held them all day you would never get anything done.

I left my DC outside to sleep when she was a few months old, but I was always in the garden with her (I would take my exercise bike out and grab a bit of me time) - we had the hood and cover on the pram. I think it's okay so long as the baby doesn't have a cold i.e. is in good health and it's not snowing!

**
I'm also struggling to see why it's ok for Scandinavian babies but not for precious British ones. Just like it's ok for German 6 year olds to walk to school by themselves, but not British ones. I think we need to get over ourselves. And I say that as someone who is very overprotective and knows she needs to lighten up.*

I should think there are many contributing factors as to why we are acting like we live in Scandinavia, presumably the roads are not so busy, schools are not as far from homes as they are here, the population being significantly lower in relation to space. Also there is not the protective huddle of prams in a snowdrift to park your own against. I won't be demanding my DS walk 45mins to school crossing the railway and dual carriageways on his own when he turns 6 later this year to appease you.*

I think you missed the last sentence of my comment. And I don't think for a minute 6 year olds in Germany do the walk you've described alone although they might cycle it with older siblings/neighbour children. They may however do the 2 minute walk my ds had to infant school from our home, but would not have been allowed to do alone even if I'd been happy with it as he had to be dropped off and collected from the door of his classroom.

Bet you didn't expect this many replies OP. There has been some good discussion about this thread:)

At the end of the day most cats are unsociable bastards and prefer to sleep on there own

My cat loves to sleep right against my face, trying to suffocate me. No way would she do the same with my kid though, kids are too unpredictable for cats!

I regularly left my daughter to sleep outside as she did not want to go into the cot and asked to go to sleep outside the the pram.

I suppose the difference is that she was in our back garden with no access for neighbours etc to see her. Isuppost there is always the risk that someone might snatch her so my advice is if you can get her through the house into a back garden that would be a better place.

When DS was little all the babies at his nursery were put out in prams for their naps. It was apparently very good for them. I used to put him in the back garden to sleep.