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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave my baby in the garden to sleep?

676 replies

SashaFierce99 · 14/02/2016 23:44

With three older siblings, it's difficult for baby to nap uninterrupted at the weekend/in holidays. She's just over a year old so still needs at least one long or two short naps per day. When her siblings are off we tend to walk/scoot/skate/bike to the park before her nap and she falls asleep in the pushchair on the way home. I then leave her in the front garden in front of the kitchen window and DCs and I paint/bake/draw in the kitchen so she's in sight at all times.

Today we did the above but there was a knock at the door ten minutes after we arrived home. It was a neighbour advising me that it's too cold and too dangerous to leave her unsupervised outside. I explained that I can see her and she's well wrapped up (full body vest, outfit on top plus jumper, double socks and full snow suit and hat) so she's fine but the neighbour kept saying I should take her inside. I politely declined and said I needed to get back to the other DC. She muttered about how I'll end up 'getting reported to someone'...!

AIBU to leave her outside?

OP posts:

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PrimalLass · 16/02/2016 11:54

All the people up in arms about this, do you think that parents in the Scandi countries are wrong? Abusive? Neglectful?

Natsku · 16/02/2016 12:04

So if your babies slept outside every day, are you taking them out of a nice warm house awake and plonking them into a pram/travel cot to fall asleep in all weathers?

That's what I did. I only had a house with a garden for 6 months (before and after that she slept on the balcony with the windows open) and it was winter so I'd dress her up and stick her in the pram and walk her up and down until she fell asleep then I'd go back in for a cuppa and a sit down and listen until I could hear her stirring on the baby monitor. A good two or three hours of peace every afternoon, lovely.

StuffandBother · 16/02/2016 12:07

The Social worker who posted to say that if this were reported to them then it would trigger a visit has just done social workers/social work/social services a massive disservice .... Really?? I thought they were swimming in caseloads of neglect and abuse!!

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 12:09

A good two or three hours of peace every afternoon, lovely.

Yes, our childminder used to feel a bit guilty that I was paying her to spend half her day on her sofa with a cuppa watching DS1 through the patio doors.

BertrandRussell · 16/02/2016 12:11

If you use the extremely wonky risk analysis most people seem to use, you would definitely leave your baby in the garden to sleep-the alleged fox attacks have all taken place in the child's bedroom.

rosajois · 16/02/2016 12:14

I live in Denmark and people leave their babies sleeping outside cafes and shops all the time. Babies at nurseries also regularly nap outside in all weathers. It's normal and fine as long as they're wrapped up. You are not being unreasonable at all.

squoosh · 16/02/2016 12:17

And the Danes are such a short and plump lot. If only they'd bring the poor babies indoors

SiriusGoLieDown · 16/02/2016 12:22

My son sleeps in his in the garden. The front I can see him clearly. I'm in west Scotland. It's hardly known for tropical weather. He sleeps better. Well wrapped up, safe and secure.

To place him in my back garden would mean I couldn't see him, so couldn't fend off any errant wolves or dragons swooping down to steal him away....

There is good evidence about children being outside and how it helps their immune system.

Studies abound regarding central heating systems being bad for skin and immune systems.

Tell neighbour to get hunted. As long as you're genuinely supervising them you will be ok.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 12:22

Not extensive research by any means, but the only cases I can find of attempted abduction of a baby from or in a pram have happened with the mother present. 1 from a bus while the mother was holding the pram and the other while mother was out jogging with the pram. Attempted abductions from gardens, a couple but they have been older children.

So, no babies in the UK are coming up on search as having been snatched from their gardens whilst having a sleep.

I wonder what the figures are for Scandi countries where it is more common to have babies sleeping outdoors? It's pretty common in Scotland too though and that would be part of the UK stats.

HocusUcas · 16/02/2016 12:27

I can remember my brother being left out in the garden to sleep in one of the traditionally shaped silver cross prams. At the time we had a young but large and boisterous labrador who jumped up with his front paws on the handlebar and my brother ended up on the stone path and with a lump the size of an egg on his forehead.
Of course after that my mother was much more cautious. She parked him on the grass.

Oh and father once left him asleep in the middle of their bed once whilst he was getting changed and brother ended up with a broken collarbone from rolling off whilst DF's back was turned.

So, empirically, I would say the risk of babies sleeping indoors or outdoors is about 50/50 either way. .

Natsku · 16/02/2016 12:46

Never heard of a baby being snatched from a pram while outside sleeping here OneMagnum and we don't even have sealed gardens with fences, they're usually open at one end. Small country so even one event like that would be all over the news.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 13:06

Obviously if that ever happened Natsku it would be beyond devastating for all involved but the chances are so infinitesimal it would appear.

If people were truly risk rating then it does make total sense (statistically) to have babies outside but I guess for some people it's gut instinct rather than logic that makes the decision. That is clearly up to them and I would not judge someone for that but to declare that it's neglectful for someone else to do so is plain wrong. We all participate in, and include our child in, everyday activities that are way riskier without batting an eyelid.

Natsku · 16/02/2016 13:40

Indeed. I'd be more worried about her getting struck by lightening than being snatched from a pram when she was a baby.

yearofthehorse · 16/02/2016 13:45

Completely missing the point here but I always slept outside as a baby and now always like to sleep with the window open even when it's below freezing outside. DH didn't sleep outside and likes the window closed. Does anyone else find that these habits continue?

shovetheholly · 16/02/2016 13:51

yearof - YES! I was homeless for a while as a teen and I still cannot sleep without the window open.

(It also took me ages to adjust to 'inside' temperatures when I had a room at university).

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 13:52

Yes year we are a windows open house. Well usually we are, currently we are a windows slightly open on the latch house since neighbours horror of a cat keeps coming in and eating our cats food and pishing everywhere if we leave anything more than the locked half inch open thing. :(

Woodhill · 16/02/2016 13:59

what's wrong with convenience for mother anyway. probably makes up for lack of sleep during the nIght. why does everything revolve round dc these days.

I think the fresh air is good for babies and if they sleep longer why not

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 16/02/2016 14:38

And the Danes are such a short and plump lot. If only they'd bring the poor babies indoors

Arf I weep for the poor neglected, unhealthy Scandi kids. Playing outdoors, eating fruits of the forest...call Bob Geldof!

KatharinaRosalie · 16/02/2016 14:53

if I was out with DS in the pram and he fell asleep I would park him in the back garden with the back doors open and then stay within sight of him until he woke up. But I didn't take him out in the pram Everday

Ah that's the thing - in Scandi countries, you absolutely MUST take children out every day. Fresh air is the most important thing and you are a very bad, lazy, neglectful mother if you decide that sod it, it's a snowstorm out there, I'd rather sit this one out. Not acceptable, wrap yourself and baby up warm and out you go.

iMogster · 16/02/2016 14:55

It is fine to have baby sleeping outside in cool fresh air. It's overheating inside that is more likely to be bad. I personally wouldn't have them out the front though because I'd worry some busy-body would call social services on me.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 14:58

I'm not saying we went out every single day (can't honestly remember) but even now I find that I need to get out at some point every day as my head feels fuzzy and headachy without being out. Teen DSs still get kicked out for an hour at weekends and on days when they aren't at school or have been out doing an activity.

Natsku · 16/02/2016 15:00

I honestly got reported to social workers here for supposedly not taking my baby out every day I did have to laugh at that one, not that the social workers were ready to have a go at me for it but I was all ready to show them photos of DD outside every day!

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 15:06

and I would add that all the windows in the house are locked on the latch so that we have fresh air coming in all the time (except the downstairs loo which doesn't have a window). But I still feel compelled to get outside for a while every day. I really am not a health and fitness icon by any stretch of the imagination though :)

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 16/02/2016 15:08

How can it be too cold for her to be in pram for a walk than to be in pram being still?

BertrandRussell · 16/02/2016 15:08

What does "supervised" mean?

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