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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave my baby in the garden to sleep?

676 replies

SashaFierce99 · 14/02/2016 23:44

With three older siblings, it's difficult for baby to nap uninterrupted at the weekend/in holidays. She's just over a year old so still needs at least one long or two short naps per day. When her siblings are off we tend to walk/scoot/skate/bike to the park before her nap and she falls asleep in the pushchair on the way home. I then leave her in the front garden in front of the kitchen window and DCs and I paint/bake/draw in the kitchen so she's in sight at all times.

Today we did the above but there was a knock at the door ten minutes after we arrived home. It was a neighbour advising me that it's too cold and too dangerous to leave her unsupervised outside. I explained that I can see her and she's well wrapped up (full body vest, outfit on top plus jumper, double socks and full snow suit and hat) so she's fine but the neighbour kept saying I should take her inside. I politely declined and said I needed to get back to the other DC. She muttered about how I'll end up 'getting reported to someone'...!

AIBU to leave her outside?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
cornishglos · 16/02/2016 18:44

Maybe children don't get stolen often because we keep them safe? I wouldn't leave a baby out the front because although it's not likely, it's possible for the child to be taken.

eddiemairswife · 16/02/2016 18:51

It was very, very rare for babies to get stolen even in the 50s and 60s when most slept outside in prams or were left outside shops.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 18:54

cornish but millions of people do leave their children outside and they haven't been taken, but people have tried to abduct children with their parent or from their home, places that people would deem "safe".

It's "possible" for a child to be taken from anywhere, is it likely? No.

As for keeping our children safe, we put them at risk every day from a thousand different things that we still do and will do again the next day and the next day and the day after that...

Lurkedforever1 · 16/02/2016 19:09

Not rtft but Yanbu. Dd was a winter baby and I lived on a working farm when she was born. I also worked there pt when she was little. She was consequently outdoors from being tiny, both asleep and awake. She's always been very healthy and had no near misses with rabid foxes/ kidnapping cows/ baby snatching sheep.

I could see ss doing a one off follow up visit if reported, but mainly because the type of loon that would report it would probably wildly exaggerate it, and include other reports of bad parenting like leaving toddlers filthy and neglected (happily playing in garden mud) dragging them out exhausted ( cheerfully walking to a park a mile away) etc.

MummaB123 · 16/02/2016 19:15

I leave my baby outside in his pushchair when he's asleep. Not worried about the cold at all, I've always found they sleep better, and they are, of course, wrapped up. Mine is in my back garden though, which is secure on all sides, and I still don't take my eye off of him. In fact, I hate that I worry so much and wish I didn't, but in this day and age, you never know. In all seriousness, where I live, I would be more worried about kids taking him, as a 'laugh', than anything really serious.

ItalianWiking84 · 16/02/2016 19:44

My dd only naps outside, in the drive way in her pram, all year long... Thank god I live in Denmark where all babies does this. She also naps outside shops, cafes ect while I wonder inside.. We have of course both rain cover and mosquitos nets...

ItalianWiking84 · 16/02/2016 19:47

And no I don't supervise her constantly but have a quick peep once in a while. I have a baby alarm, ill hear her

kateandme · 16/02/2016 20:00

think of all the babies being born in the coldest of countries.as long as they are dressed appropriately its fine.
the thing that worries me is seeing baby at all time.but as long as you can and garden is secure(away from public,road etc) then I think its ok.surely a mum knows if her child is safe enough near to her

mmatthews798 · 16/02/2016 20:18

Good for them to sleep outsider completely understand but really, In the front garden? Get real, in this day and age? In your back garden where you are with them but not in the front garden when youre inside with the other kids. Sorry but this just seems wrong and very unsafe and amazes me that people actually are saying they do this!

MerryInthechelseahotel · 16/02/2016 21:52

mmatthews

Op said she lives in a quiet cul de sac and house is set back from the road and has high fences and hedges round.

Ditsy4 · 17/02/2016 01:12

Like I said before " people on here are making assumptions about the OP circumstances based on their own views."
My previous garden would have been much easier to snatch a baby unseen from the back garden than the front. Curtain twitchers and nosey neighbours would have seen anyone who was a stranger and would have been out there. I always had the gate tied for No. 1 son when baby son 2 was asleep.
Yes I did take them out every day. Baby two went three times a week twice a day to take and collect Son 1 to Kindergarten which was 1 1/2 miles. Son 1 was taken up to 5 miles a day and woke as soon as the pram stopped. Son 2 was parked up outside the window. Same with 3 and by 4 we had moved so parked somewhere in the garden watching the birds. Never thought about squirrels if they thought she had nuts they would have been in there. Red ones opposite and foxes and badgers nearby.
Check with SS yes they would call to check and give advice re paedophiles and would advise not to use front garden in case of snatch. Otherwise fine as long as baby properly wrapped and supervised.

ReallyTired · 17/02/2016 01:23

In the 1950s babies were put in the garden do the parents did not hear the crying. If you are in the house and your baby is outside how will you know if your baby needs you.

Foxes are a real risk in many parts of the U.K. A baby is not much bigger than a turkey or rabbit. The cold is not the problem. It's lack of supervision.

ReallyTired · 17/02/2016 01:29

Your baby could end up as dinner for a fox.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21399709

Biscuitsinbed · 17/02/2016 03:11

Does anyone ever read the whole thread anymore?

There were no witnesses to a fox being there and
Police said their inquiries into the incident were continuing

Natsku · 17/02/2016 06:12

In the 1950s babies were put in the garden do the parents did not hear the crying. If you are in the house and your baby is outside how will you know if your baby needs you There's this amazing invention called a baby monitor that lets you hear when a baby is crying.

LarrytheCucumber · 17/02/2016 06:44

I was told to leave my baby out in the garden (mid 1970s) by the health visitor. You could buy cat nets to put over the pram, although I am not sure they would have given any protection. I remember checking on him so often and being so worried that in the end I stopped doing it.

Mooey89 · 17/02/2016 07:08

In mumsnet world, if you leave your baby sleeping in a locked car whilst you pay for petrol, you are a demon, the car will blow up/get stolen/you might die walking across the forecourt.

But leave your baby out the front of your house?! No worries!
The issue here is not the cold, the issue is leaving it outside the front, on the street.

Washediris · 17/02/2016 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LarrytheCucumber · 17/02/2016 07:40

People still left babies outside shops in the seventies- mainly because there were still plenty of small shops left that were too small to take a pram into. And prams were 'proper' prams.

sparechange · 17/02/2016 07:46

Foxes are a real risk in many parts of the U.K.

Except there has been A SINGLE REPORTED CASE IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THR UK of a child being attacked by a fox while sleeping in the garden. Not one. Quantify that risk please?

cleaty · 17/02/2016 08:11

Yes I remember babies being left outside shops in prams. And confessions of sleep deprived mums who would walk home and leave their baby there.

LarrytheCucumber · 17/02/2016 08:40

True, Cleaty although I didn't forget mine I knew someone who did.
I also remember a kind soul pulling him up the pram because he's worked his way down to the bottom. I expect today the Police would have been called!

PrimalLass · 17/02/2016 08:43

In the 1950s babies were put in the garden do the parents did not hear the crying. If you are in the house and your baby is outside how will you know if your baby needs you

The picture I posted was taken from the other side of glass doors that are the length of the room.

When she was a bit bigger (2+) I would put her in the car for a sleep, drive home as soon as she was napping and park on the drive. I would sit at the kitchen window.

A lack of sleep was more of a risk than the chance of someone stealing/hurting her. IMO.

boredofusername · 17/02/2016 08:44

I'm a bit confused as how it's safe to leave a sleeping baby upstairs with no supervision while you get distracted downstairs, but it's not safe to keep a sleeping baby outside your kitchen window where you can see them.

Oh well. As for foxes, I'm pretty sure that the documented cases have been of foxes entering the house.

If social services really did pay a visit in this scenario they haven't got enough to do. Except that they have, so they wouldn't.

I'm also struggling to see why it's ok for Scandinavian babies but not for precious British ones. Just like it's ok for German 6 year olds to walk to school by themselves, but not British ones. I think we need to get over ourselves. And I say that as someone who is very overprotective and knows she needs to lighten up.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 17/02/2016 08:56

You also don't need to hear a baby to know they are awake and/or crying. You can see the baby moving.

There is a difference between leaving your baby asleep in a pram in your own environment which you know and are watching under supervision to leaving a baby in a car in a possibly busy environment full of strangers while you are not watching fully as you are inside paying for fuel.

A random person coming into your environment would spark your attention much more quickly for a start.

That said, the only cases I can recall of a baby/child being taken in a vehicle have had nothing to do with the child, the person has stolen the car and it happened to contain the child.

There are no recorded cases of babies being stolen whilst sleeping in their pram in the garden. there are no recorded cases of a child being attacked by a fox whilst asleep in their garden.

There have been some horrific attacks by dogs, those have been where the dog and baby have been sharing an environment, not where a random dog has invaded a garden.