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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to leave my baby in the garden to sleep?

676 replies

SashaFierce99 · 14/02/2016 23:44

With three older siblings, it's difficult for baby to nap uninterrupted at the weekend/in holidays. She's just over a year old so still needs at least one long or two short naps per day. When her siblings are off we tend to walk/scoot/skate/bike to the park before her nap and she falls asleep in the pushchair on the way home. I then leave her in the front garden in front of the kitchen window and DCs and I paint/bake/draw in the kitchen so she's in sight at all times.

Today we did the above but there was a knock at the door ten minutes after we arrived home. It was a neighbour advising me that it's too cold and too dangerous to leave her unsupervised outside. I explained that I can see her and she's well wrapped up (full body vest, outfit on top plus jumper, double socks and full snow suit and hat) so she's fine but the neighbour kept saying I should take her inside. I politely declined and said I needed to get back to the other DC. She muttered about how I'll end up 'getting reported to someone'...!

AIBU to leave her outside?

OP posts:
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Singsongsungagain · 16/02/2016 10:24

We're not taking about a supervised baby here though are we? We're taking about a baby left outside whilst it's mum is inside dealing with other children. She is hardly supervising if she is occasionally looking out of the window!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 16/02/2016 10:25

Also, get yourself wrapped up in the equivelant of what a baby is wearing/sleeping on in their buggy, then judge. It's blindingly obvious sleeping with a blanket outside isn't the same.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 16/02/2016 10:26

It's no different from the baby being in another room. Enclosed back garden, baby checked on very regularly (if not watched out the window all the time), what's the problem?

Singsongsungagain · 16/02/2016 10:26

Go ahead then PaulAnka. Wrap yourself up and get out there. Can't say I've ever seen an adult do that by choice though can you?

Singsongsungagain · 16/02/2016 10:27

Of course it's different to being inside a secure house! What total nonsense!

squoosh · 16/02/2016 10:29

I'd certainly leave a baby all wrapped up in their pram in the back garden. Wouldn't leave unattended in the front garden though as I know I'd spend the time stationed at the window to make sure someone wasn't making off with them.

SugarPlumTree · 16/02/2016 10:29

Think you're right 3wisewomen, I'd forgotten about the cry it out/feed 4 hourly regimes of old.

I'm thinking an insulated outdoor adult sleeping pod sounds appealing, it could have rocking options too. Think I'd be very happy hiding from the DC in that out in the garden,

PaulAnkaTheDog · 16/02/2016 10:31

Nope I haven't because it would be daft right? Because we know that babies are perfectly warm in their buggies, with all their layers (if we didn't we wouldn't take them out in them). So there's no need to test it in adulthood. The only nonsense here is the sheer hysteria at a baby being outside but supervised. Madness, utter madness.

What are your specific fears here? I'm assuming not temperature as you probably take your children out in buggies. So, what? Foxes? Birds? Child snatchers?

Natsku · 16/02/2016 10:31

I've been quite tempted to take a nap outside in the hammock in FIL's garden, if I had all the nice snug clothes and coverings my baby had I'd do that. I'd make DD rock me first though to send me to sleep, she's good at that. Then she can go inside and keep an occasional eye on me through the kitchen window to make sure a fox doesn't jump on me.

Boomingmarvellous · 16/02/2016 10:42

I found it was the only way my baby would sleep. It's normal in colder countries and perfectly safe if they are well wrapped up. I would just check every half hour that he was still toasty warm, which he was. Our garden has 6 foot fences and a padlocked gate.

babyboomersrock · 16/02/2016 10:50

I had my four babies in the 70s and 80s. All had their naps in the garden but they weren't abandoned at the bottom of the garden, unseen and unheard. They were in a safe back garden, near the kitchen window.

Prams were robust and weatherproof - if it was misty or driving rain/snow, my babies slept indoors but for those who asked whether parents would choose to sleep outside in cold weather...er, yes please, as long as warm clothing and a huge pram were available.

Mine wore woollen clothes in winter, and slept under woollen blankets. The hood kept draughts away, but they were still getting fresh air (I suppose that might depend on where you live!). Modern baby clothing is mostly cotton, which isn't warm - in winter, wool is probably better.

In summer, the hood would be down, sun canopy in place, and the pram would be put into the shade. We had cat nets, though I only used them when I was worried about wasps. When the baby woke from a nap, you'd see the pram start to bounce gently - I think that was a lovely way to waken up, outside, under a tree.

I'm wondering whether those babies who don't sleep outside are ever allowed to be out when it's cold? Do they spend all day inside the house or car? That sounds very unhealthy to me.

And yes, the latest thing is forest or outdoor nurseries - up here in Scotland that will mean playing outside in low temperatures for much of the year - is that a no-no too?

KatharinaRosalie · 16/02/2016 10:54

If you worry about
-foxes stealing babies, (has never happened),
-cats smothering them (never happened) and
-random strangers walking past and deciding to steal the baby from the garden (could not find any reports of this either),

how can you put the baby to sleep indoors, where the risk of house spontaneously combusting must be way higher?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 16/02/2016 10:59

Because if you're inside you'll spontaneously combust as well? Therefore no guilt. Grin

shatteredmama · 16/02/2016 11:02

Op, how could you think this is acceptable, if your neighbour can see your baby, so could a sick individual with bad intentions. Looking at the baby through the window while with other children and possibly getting distracted is not supervising. Is there a 100% chance that no-one would be able to snatch the baby?

Woodhill · 16/02/2016 11:07

I used to leave my dd out in front garden in our old house as it was on a corner and there was no back garden so to speak. I could see her from my front room. It worked and kept me sane. That was 20 years' ago.

BrittaBroad · 16/02/2016 11:09

As others have said. Scandinavian babies do this ALL the time. Though in Norway you are advised not to do it w newborns bellow -1, or bigger babies below -10! My son has slept out in Norway, in much colder weather than we've had in the UK all winter, and it's just not an issue as long as they are appropriately dressed (and you'll know when you take them out - if they feel warm, they were warm the whole time)!

I suppose there is the possibility of someone seeing the pram and walking off with it at a moment you happen to be distracted. But it sounds very far-fetched. like others have said, crossing the road is more dangerous. As for cats and foxes, that is just silly. Sorry. I mean the odds must be millions to one...

If it made you feel more secure you can get walkie-talkies with a baby mode. leave one in the pram as an outdoor monitor then you'd hear (as well as see) if anything was happening.

CrazyKitten · 16/02/2016 11:22

Both my son and I had naps in the garden. My little one would definitely sleep for longer outside. The only thing is that it was in a locked back garden, so I was not worried about strangers coming and taking him.

The cat net sounds like a great idea re. securing against animals and securing the front garden against access by strangers if possible and / or obscuring the view of his pram, so he is not visible to passers by.

If you can make sure he / she is secure and warm then this is a lovely, healthy option.

MrsMac74 · 16/02/2016 11:26

The pitfalls of posting on an open forum... I think alot of people have been very harsh on you. You know yourself whether the front garden is safe. I used to have my son nap in our back garden as it's completely walled-in. Never thought of foxes - oops! Oh well, next time... Fresh air is wonderful for babies - we left ours napping outside the pub whilst it was snowing once as he was so wrapped-up and snug (we did sit at the door, watching him of course). We checked him pretty regularly and he was lovely and cosy. The only bit of him exposed were his chubby cheeks and surely it was so much better for him to be breathing fresh air.
You sound like you have all scenarios covered, and really, the chances of anything going dreadfully wrong are so slim. I would however, be cautious that your awful neighbour doesn't do something to try and teach you a lesson. That, I think, is your biggest threat. x

OneMagnumisneverenough · 16/02/2016 11:30

For those who never leave a baby outside sleeping, do you keep then under your constant supervision indoors? Do you always keep your doors locked? Do you never nip out to hang out/bring in laundry?, Do you never pop out with stuff to the bin? Do you never have a chat with the neighbour while you are outside and baby is sleeping indoors? Do you never wash your car/do a bit of gardening/watch your toddler play outside while baby is sleeping indoors?

Thought not.....

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 16/02/2016 11:34

Are garden lurking baby threads going to be the new parent and child parking threads? Or maybe the new smoking baby or chocolate eating baby threads.

RedSpringer · 16/02/2016 11:36

I always let my daughter sleep outside in her pram, she's now 4. Although it was my back garden not out the front, without knowing your street/house layout it's difficult to say whether front garden is a good idea.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 16/02/2016 11:42

if I was out with DS in the pram and he fell asleep I would park him in the back garden with the back doors open and then stay within sight of him until he woke up. But I didn't take him out in the pram Everday. So if your babies slept outside every day, are you taking them out of a nice warm house awake and plonking them into a pram/travel cot to fall asleep in all weathers?

Singsongsungagain · 16/02/2016 11:47

I think it's interesting that the OP is contemplating this with her new baby. I'd be interested to know whether she ever did it with her first. Let's face it, this is about convenience for the OP and has nothing to do with any perceived benefit for the baby. I'm still confused as to what any benefit might be- the risks far outweigh them in my opinion.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 16/02/2016 11:47

sinister Same as you, I left mine out the back after a walk. Occasionally I put them out if I was going to do noisy jobs in the house or older dc had friends in.

PrimalLass · 16/02/2016 11:49

I'm still confused as to what any benefit might be

Fresh air and longer naps.