38 and 44 - are we too old for dc3? Honest answers pls!

[AlligatorPrudent]

Before anyone asks me 'why are you asking strangers on the internet?', I'm not going to do anything rash! . I guess I'm more or less looking for experiences of older parents.

Would you raise an eyebrow at us and our ages if you heard about us expecting dc3?

I'd love another! No guarantees I know but...

Do worry about the things that can go wrong and life is easy with 2.

I'm 38, husband is 42 and our chn are 8, 5 and 10 months.

Having a third child is exhausting and I know that's partly down to my age. My pregnancy was easy, the birth straightforward and our baby is lovely, happy, healthy, sleeps well, eats well. He's perfect! But we found going back to total dependency (nappies, weaning, stair gates, car seats, fireguards etc) very hard. Also it's not just having a baby that's hard - it's having three and trying to give each the attention and time they deserve. Then there's the bigger car, reorganising the bedrooms, one more to pay for for holidays. And then there's extra childcare as we both work full time.

I've suffered terrible PND this time which I never have before. It's totally overwhelmed me and made life so difficult. Perhaps that's why I've found three so hard. And bare in mind I have the most amazing, supportive, loving husband who does an equal share of housework and childcare.

I love my baby soooo much and don't regret him. But it doesn't stop me knowing that two would have been just right.

But you're not too old at all if you really want to go for it. Just think about what you have to sacrifice and consider if it's what you really want first.

I had my DS1 and DD1 at 21 and 25 and really hadn't a clue, winged it completely and thankfully they turned out ok. Had DD2 at 34, DD3 at 40 and DS2 last year aged 42, would love another but DH says no as we haven't the room :)
Only you know if you'll be able for it but you're not anywhere near too old :)

I had my 2 and 27 and 29. I'm now 30 and exhausted!!!! I couldn't imagine doing this again in 8 years time but I can imagine a family of 5 to be lovely so I would say go for it - I'm one of the young mums in my area

I had my first at 36 and my youngest at 38. My husband is 3 years older than me so close to your ages.

Not at all. Things can also go very right at this age too.

i'm 40 and i'm hoping to go for my second!

41 and considering help. OH suffers from depression and feel time is running out for things to happen naturally. Is IUI a waste of time?!

Depends - are you 38 or 44?

38 - YANBU, 44 - are you serious?

I had my FIRST at 38.

The biggest consideration for me would be the age gap between your DCs.

You’re not too old! I had my 1st at 37, 2nd at 40, and my 3rd at 44 - I’m 49 now (so is DH) and we’re loving family life (although DH tells me it would be even better if I was a little bit fitter ) I’d say go for it.

Zombie post from 4 years ago!!!

I was a surprise baby when my mum was 36 and dad was 42. my sibling range from a 16 - 10 year age gap and I always resented having the 'older parents at school'. Both my parents have health issues which I think makes the problem worse. My husband had younger parents and although will likely have his parents
longer did not have a stable upbringing due to financial constraints.

We have both decided that we would like all our children before 30. But that has many different factors behind it.

That being said, I think your both at an age where life is stabler than many younger. If you and your partner want a baby and are healthy enough to cope with the demands with a newborn, who should stop you.