38 and 44 - are we too old for dc3? Honest answers pls!

[AlligatorPrudent]

Before anyone asks me 'why are you asking strangers on the internet?', I'm not going to do anything rash! . I guess I'm more or less looking for experiences of older parents.

Would you raise an eyebrow at us and our ages if you heard about us expecting dc3?

I'd love another! No guarantees I know but...

Do worry about the things that can go wrong and life is easy with 2.

For me it would depend on his big the gap between the first two and the third would be. It's a royal pain the older two wanting to do more grown up things and be stymied by the baby. It's like giving two separate families. If they're close in age though I'd go for it, as long as you both agree.

Oops - he was 42, sorry: but the age gap between us all - 12 years - probably didn't help much. Nor did 20 years of paying school fees without a break. Both my parents WOTH, full time - but my DM was only 35.

I'm about to turn 37, DH is 44 and we're still growing #1

I'm 35 and not had my first child yet. I wouldn't say 38 is too old at all!

The age gap is hard , I have a 4 and a 12 year old . They are very hard to please in the holidays . 😁

I'm 38 and about to have DC #2 imminently!

I was 42 with dd2. Easier than dd1

Doesn't sound unreasonable. Is there much of a gap with your older children? I would say that the majority of mums I come across in my area through baby groups and nursery etc. had their first around 36/ 37 and then gone on to have other siblings, so not uncommon at all to have DC2 / 3 after they've turned 40. I don't think that there is that fear of being mistaken for a grandmother at school any more because so many mums are older.

We had ds3 when we were both 42. And there's 10 years between ds1 and ds3. He's an absolute joy. We have never regretted having him. The big boys love him to bits.

It depends on how you feel in yourself. I personally feel too old and knackered to even consider another one, It would be a nightmare to start all over again now, I am 41. However I know several couples who have had babies in thier late thirties, forties and fifties and I wouldn't bat an eyelid, if it works for them why not!
It's only when I try to imagine 'myself' in thier position at thier respective ages that I shudder.

OP Are you 38 or 44?
I had my DC3 a week before I turned 37; DH was 44, so not that different really. We are not the oldest parents we know by any stretch.

My DS (14) has a friend who's mum is mid 50s and dad is late 60s.

Where do you live? I had DC1 at 30 in SW London and there were women aged up to 45 in my NCT class. I was practically a teenaged mum in their eyes 😄 I now live in the US and have a friend who had her DC1 at 49 and then twins at 52 (all IVF). There is a real trend here for people to have their children in their late 40s/early 50s...!

You're definitely not too old. You're practically a youngster based on the demographics in the areas I've lived in.

I had my last baby at almost 43 and my OH was 51.
If you want another baby, go for it!

I had my three at 35, 37, 40.

I have to say, I am now 48 and could not imagine having a toddler or baby. I would be knackered.

I think it's fine.
I'm 35 and just had DC1. I'll be trying for #2 when I'm 36 and will probably be 37 when it's born God willing.

Age gap is a factor. Had dc 3 when I was 38, 12 years after dc1 and 9 years after dc2. Had much more energy with first two, having teens and a toddler is a difficult combination because of differing needs. Am now in 50s with 14 year old and its not a huge amount of fun, though I love him dearly.

DH and I are 37 almost and just starting to talk about DC2 . Ds is 14 mnths. Hoping to get pregnant later this year. DH wants another one after this- I am not so sure.

There is a real trend here for people to have their children in their late 40s/early 50s...!

A trend? Must be donor gametes then?

I had mine at 37, 39 and 41. If you want another child and can love it and take care of it properly, go for it.

I had mine at 42 and 45. You are not too old at all, but it's how you feel.

I had my first baby at 42, DP was 38 and have just discovered we're having another! Complete shock as we thought it would be almost impossible to conceive at 43 (I was 41 last time) so on reflection was careless. I'll be 43 and DP 40 when this one arrives. I live in Surrey and we're quite normal for this area. With first baby (last year) I went to NCT and the couples ages were as follows 41/38, 38/51, 38/33, 36/36, 31/31 so apart from the couple who were both 31 everyone was older having a first baby.

I am about to turn 37 and currently expecting DC3. DD will be 9 and DS 7 when it arrives. I don't think you are too old at all.

You actually need less sleep as you get older. I don't think anything of going to bed at midnight and getting up for work at 5am. Twenty years ago I just couldn't do that!

I know lots having their first child mid to late 30's, so 2nd or 3rd are around the 40 mark.

Gooseberry - IVF is certainly a huge industry.