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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think dss is getting too big.

65 replies

DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 18:09

Dss is 16 and goes to the gym 6 times a week, I have had to go to the shops today as shirts brought in the summer no longer fit, not due to height but the fact that his muscles have grown.

He does play rugby for the school, but a year ago he was slim but now he's starting to look like a rugby player.

I am also concerned at how much red meat he eats and the protein shakes he drinks. He is not fat just really big. He really enjoys the gym so don't think he should stop going, just stop trying to get bigger.

OP posts:

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:15

I work in the fitness industry and have a district dislike of teenagers using protein shakes. There is in fact no need for them.

They are usually used as a convienient food to have post workout. There was 'science' going around that you must eat protein in a short window after working out. It's in fact a load of bull, that the supplement companies love to spout to sell their stuff.

The gym and the meat, I feel a bit 'meh' about. It depends on how much he is eating.

The getting bigger again depends on him, how easily he can build muscle etc.

I can't say Yabu or Yanbu as I don't know him.

But what you think is big enough isn't the be all and end all. It's how about he feels himself.

That said, you would be wise to keep and eye on him as there are increasing numbers of young men with body dismorphia and it's starting in the gym.

If you think is become and eating disorder or disordered thinking, seek some advice from your GP.

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:15

distinct dislike

Mide7 · 14/02/2016 18:20

He's being active and eating right, I think you should be glad he's not sitting in his room playing Xbox and eating wotsits.

Original poster

DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 18:23

That's interesting about the protein shakes Katenka, the type he uses is whey and he takes it before bed. With the amount of milk, nuts and meat it is probably not needed.

OP posts:

RudeElf · 14/02/2016 18:24

Surely its a personal preference thing? If he likes it and he is healthy then there's no issue. You're entitled not to like how it looks but you're not entitled to try and stop him.

Original poster

DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 18:24

Mide7 I'm happy he enjoys sport but he could do the weights without getting much bigger.

He is also friends with a lot of the bodybuilders at the gym, which may not be a good influence.

OP posts:

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:25

Before bed should be casein, not a whey isolate. If he was doing anything at all.

He is following we know as 'bro science' which is to say 'pile of shit supplement companies and their sponsored athletes spout to sell shit'

Again it's because it's the myth that eating at certain times helps. It doesn't .

SaucyJack · 14/02/2016 18:25

You are entitled to your opinion, however no one here can really say whether YABU or not as we have no idea what your DSS looks like now or did last year.

You may have a point. You may not. It's impossible to tell from your post.

Mide7 · 14/02/2016 18:27

How seriously does he take his rugby because if he has aspirations to play at a decent level he'll need to get bigger.

why do you think the bodybuilders might not be a good influence? The little pants and the tan?

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:27

The problem is with weights is as he lifts more he will get bigger.

There is no challenge if you don't lift more.

I would be happy about the shakes. But unless you think he has an ED, I would leave him to it

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:30

He is also friends with a lot of the bodybuilders at the gym, which may not be a good influence.

body builders are like any other group of people. There are decent people on the whole, with a Few that may be a bad influence.

But please don't think that because he is friends with body builders they must be a bad influence.

Would you say the same about any other hobby? That the people involved are probably a negative influence?

phequer · 14/02/2016 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SolsburyHell · 14/02/2016 18:36

Unless you have concerns he is using steroids then I would leave him to it.

DinosaursRoar · 14/02/2016 18:38

Have you seen professional rugby players now? The larger body shape is moving down the levels. If your DSS has aspirations of playing rugby in adult teams, including possibly at Uni level, he's probably feeling the pressure to bulk up the muscles.

It's something that's putting a lot of parents off encouraging boys from pursuing the sport now.

Musicaltheatremum · 14/02/2016 18:42

My son trains regularly. He does occasionally use protein but not as much as before. He will get big though as he has testosterone which will build the muscles. My main concern would be to check he is not taking steroids but it's amazing how muh you can bulk up with excersise. We women however can only tone and build a little bit as we have little testosterone.

XiCi · 14/02/2016 18:43

Unless there's a concern of steroid abuse I think it's very much up to him how he wants to shape his own body

Mistigri · 14/02/2016 18:45

Is there any risk that he might be using steroids? Given a very rapid change in muscle mass that would be my first concern.

It is highly likely that there are steroids circulating at his gym - steroid abuse is very very common among amateur athletes and body builders.

Maryz · 14/02/2016 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/02/2016 18:48

What do his actual parents think? Has any health care professional or member of teaching staff raised any concerns?

It's a hard one to think about because it can be really hard watching your skinny teenage runt turn into a hulk giant but a lot of the time it's our own issues and not BD but being so closely involved it's hard to work out which is which

hefzi · 14/02/2016 19:00

If you're worried about it, why not casually suggest he takes a look at the Reggie Yates thing about "getting big" on BBC iplayer? You can say you thought it might be something he'd find interesting, and then it might open up the possibility of a conversation about fitness and bulking up etc, so you can see if there's actually cause for concern or not.

honeysucklejasmine · 14/02/2016 19:04

If you and your DP are worried, raise it with the school and get his rugby coach to have a quiet word with him about proper nutrition and safe muscle building for his age. It may be absolutely fine, but if it puts your mind at rest it might be beneficial all round.

rookiemere · 14/02/2016 19:16

Someone at work has a teenage DS who got kidney stones from too many protein shakes.

But other than that and potential that he might be taking steroids, I guess at least he is doing sports and being active and not into drugs and alcohol, or mooching in his room on computer games all the time.

WitchWay · 14/02/2016 19:17

I'd worry about steroids too.

Mide7 · 14/02/2016 19:20

In my opinion steroids are like any drug, you can take them an minimise the risk or you can abuse them and run into trouble.

There is quite a negative perception of them in the media. Although it is a growing problem in young men.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/02/2016 19:24

Just make sure he does leg days too...

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