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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dss is getting too big.

65 replies

DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 18:09

Dss is 16 and goes to the gym 6 times a week, I have had to go to the shops today as shirts brought in the summer no longer fit, not due to height but the fact that his muscles have grown.

He does play rugby for the school, but a year ago he was slim but now he's starting to look like a rugby player.

I am also concerned at how much red meat he eats and the protein shakes he drinks. He is not fat just really big. He really enjoys the gym so don't think he should stop going, just stop trying to get bigger.

OP posts:
Mide7 · 14/02/2016 19:24

Although 16 is too young for roids

Daryan · 14/02/2016 19:28

I lift, maintain a muscular, defined look and supplement with protein (only occasionally; it isn't hard for me to meet my daily targets with food. It's harder for men to hit those targets from food alone without gorging on chicken and egg.) Honestly, I'd have a proper giggle if someone sat me down and gave me a chat about steroids and dying of 'bigorexia'. It's akin to having a Lemsip and your parents bring up Zammo and 'Talk to Frank'.

It's really not a big deal.

WinterWinnie · 14/02/2016 20:34

I think it's okay, especially as he's 16. However, steroids would put him just over the line and I wouldn't have that...

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 21:39

I don't think he is on steroids because has grown in size over a long period of time and has been educated on them as generally against using them.

It's the red meat that is concerning for me as eating a steak every other day is excessive and very expensive.

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Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 22:08

I would like to point out not that bodybuilders are bad people but if they are what dss is aspiring to then that is not a good thing.

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RudeElf · 14/02/2016 22:11

Oh. Why didnt you just say from the start it was about money? Hmm instead of this faux concern for his health bullshit.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 22:27

It's not about money, I am property developer and earn a very good salary. But my shopping bill is very expensive compared to people on mumsnet, partly due to shops I go to and because I have 3 teens and one who eats a lot of meat.

Red meat is classed as a carncinogen and has a lot of sat fat in it, it should not be consumed more then twice a week.

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RudeElf · 14/02/2016 22:29

Oh well and i'm sure you stick to every sodding health guideline in existence too. I wonder what he could start a thread about wrt you over indulging. Fgs its hardly crack. Hmm

Mide7 · 14/02/2016 22:30

What would you prefer for him to eat? He doesn't need to eat that much red meat. Chicken or turkey would just be as beneficial. As would some dairy sources

rookiemere · 14/02/2016 22:35

Ostrich steaks - 2 for a fiver in Tesco - got my personal trainer very overexcited when I told him - more protein than any other form of meat apart from kangaroo apparently.

OSETmum · 14/02/2016 22:51

Don't forget at 16 he'll be growing rapidly anyway. Unless you're worried about steroid use, which you say you aren't, I don't see the problem. DS is only 6 but he eats so much, I dread to think what he'll be like at 16 (he already has a very physical hobby and never stops the rest of the time). If it's a money thing, either he or his dad need to contribute a bit more to cover the extra cost above the cost of your general shop, who pays for the gym? Honestly though, unless you actually can't afford it I'd let it go.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 14/02/2016 22:56

I try and stick to a very healthy diet in my house no white carbs, no fizzy drinks on weekdays and only dark choc on weekdays.

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wannabestressfree · 14/02/2016 22:58

There are some good websites that ship meat that are reasonable. We use one..will send you a link.

missscarlettinthefutilityroom · 14/02/2016 23:05

Doctors are seeing more and more men in their 40's with man boobs and feminisation, due to steroid abuse when younger.

Honestly, if these fit young men could see these sad, breasted specimens, I think they'd think twice about steroids!

Maryz · 15/02/2016 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GruntledOne · 15/02/2016 06:04

I would worry a bit that this all sounds slightly obsessive. Most 16 year olds wouldn't have time to go to the gym six times a week, and certainly wouldn't demand that much red meat. I would suggest that you simply refuse to buy it more than once a week and instead get the sort of stuff that's on Maryz's list, and see whether he accepts that. If the lack of meat bothers him then he does have a problem.

Katenka · 15/02/2016 06:53

I would like to point out not that bodybuilders are bad people but if they are what dss is aspiring to then that is not a good thing.

but you can say that anywhere. His school friends, rugby team etc.

Aspiring to body build isn't a bad thing in itself. I don't get that thinking. Would you say it about any other form of exercise? Why is it ok for him to aspire to play rugby but not build muscle.

Reading this, it's seems you have issues with body builders. Your DSS is doing nothing bizarre.

I don't get why aspiring to have a muscular fit body is a bad thing. You do realise that the huge body builders that you see on stage are few and far between. There are many different classes at competition. Very few are the heavyweight classes.

Not all body builders aspire to be the hulk. Maybe you need to take a look and get to know what body building is about before judging.

I know loads of body builders, that compete. I know one huge bloke. Most of the men I know just look for and healthy. Not massive.

Mistigri · 15/02/2016 07:35

Steroid use in gyms is a huge health problem. You DSS may not be using steroids but it highly likely that he's mixing with people who use them and that he will be tempted to do so himself at some point. Unless he has been very lucky in the genetic lottery, it's rather unlikely that a transition from skinny teen to Mr Muscle in less than a year is 100% natural.

www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/19/anabolic-steroid-use-leaves-britain-facing-health-timebomb

Katenka · 15/02/2016 07:37

Misti I agree. But it's also been a problem in other sports to. Such as rugby where the players are getting bigger. Unless he plays professionally and is tested, steroids or PED are used in lots of sports.

It's not just gyms and body builders.

Mistigri · 15/02/2016 07:45

Katenka for sure - steroids are a huge problem in rugby, the pp who said that rugby players don't use steroids has her head in the sand. I came back to post a link but my iPad won't post it - if you google steroids and rugby you'll see that it's probably the mainstream sport with the biggest steroids problem.

If I had a rugby-playing, weightlifting 16 year old who had gained serious muscle bulk in less than a year then my assumption would be that he was using steroids. Let's just say that my shopping bill would not be top of my list of concerns.

Mamia15 · 15/02/2016 08:03

Rugby playing son who lift weights here too - he has done a lot of research in nutrition and gym routines and only eats red meat once a week. Lots of turkey steaks/mince, chicken and lentils etc for protein as well as the occasional shake.

Be very open about the fact that steroid abuse can be a major problem and what the side effects are etc.

mpje · 15/02/2016 09:23

I'd be worried, high protein diets arent good for the body have been shown to cause some cancers and are not good for longevity. All those hormones and steroids in most meat / dairy products in the UK.

The supplement industry is huge and has been peddling crap for years.

Greyponcho · 15/02/2016 09:54

Being active and healthy is nothing to worry about.
There's loads of info all over the Internet about steroids and their effects, so if he's looking up about which powders to get, then he's quite capable of doing other research too.
Maybe approach him by saying you want to make sure you're getting the right types of food for him - does he want other, non-steak sources of protein xyz being bought for him?

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 15/02/2016 10:14

I can only tell you what my very muscley (anti steroid) personal trainer does.

He didn't have milk products (even when he ate meat)
Recently gone (last 6 months) vegan

No reduction in his size to my eyes and he's very happy with his shape/condition.

Depends why he's bulking up - (body image/competitive body building/other sports fitness) as to how bulky he wants to be. Each come with their own positives/negatives.

I agree with other PPs about steroid use and body builders. I don't think it would be inappropriate to have a chat or find a clean b.builder to have a talk with him. Plenty of seamingly healthy, 'clean' athletes dropping with heart related conditions. Not to mention needle sharing. Schools these days don't have comprehensive HIV/drugs education program's.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 15/02/2016 15:40

I asked him if he was on steroids and he said no. He said "those people look freaky and not natural". I know when he is lying because his eyebrows go higher one side and lower the other.

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