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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for half of this oil bill?

43 replies

altctrldel · 12/02/2016 20:26

I live in a house share with another girl who is the owner.

We filled the heating up with oil at the end of July and, without telling me so I was aware the bill was coming, got it filled again last week. I will say we have never had any problems before. We have got on well until today.

The problem:

She is a nightmare with the central heating. She is home 4 days a week and will leave the heating on max from 9am until 10/11pm. You come home and house is like a furnace. She walks around with no socks or slippers on in a thin t shirt and pyjama/lightweight tracksuit trousers.

I'm off work when she works and instead of putting the heating on I chose to buy heavy weight sweatpants, heavy weight jumpers and put my dressing gown on and use a blanket as necessary and at least wear thick socks. The radiator is turned off in my room most of the time as the heating pipes are in there and it's just unbarable to sit in there when she has had the heating on for a serious length of time- she knows this. It honestly gets that hot if I'm sat in the other lounge alone I open the window. When she comes in and I haven't had the heating on it goes straight on regardless of what time it is. I've managed to walk around without a jumper on today and she's put it on at 3 ffs. There was a time she would put it on before going to work but has stopped realising I turn it off as soon as she's out the door.

I don't disagree some heating is needed- but I think a couple of hours in the evening is sufficient. When I lived at home I had it on for maybe 4 hours a night.

The bill is nearly a grand and she asked me today to give her half. I've offered a third. She is going out so we haven't really spoken about it but she clearly thinks IBU.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 12/02/2016 20:39

It's a tricky one really. In principle I think one third is fair. There would be a lot of people who would disagree with her use of heating - not many people use it as extravagantly as that.

I don't think its unreasonable to have an adult discussion with her about it where you state that you would be more comfortable paying half if there were certain ground rules about how the heating is used.

That said, it is her house. So if she doesn't want to change the way she uses heating, she needs to either find another lodger who agrees with her use of it and is happy to pay half (who may be hard to find, due to her unusual use of it), or accept that the divide should be closer to 1/3 - 2/3 between you.

YANBU.

PS: With the benefit of hindsight, it may have not been a bad idea to say along the way "cor blimey, its boiling in here, what, heating is still on? Hope you don't want me going halvies on your crazy oil bill when it comes, put a jumper on FFS love" etc.

RB68 · 12/02/2016 20:42

if its her house and you are effectively lodger she is being unreasonable.

Osolea · 12/02/2016 20:50

What was the agreement when you moved in?

I think if you agreed to pay half of the bills including the oil, then it's a bit unfair to change that, especially when you've clearly had concerned about the amount of heating use well before now and could have brought it up.

I don't think her heating use is unusual, and it's your choice to wear dressing gowns and extra jumpers and not use the heating when you could. Neither of you are wrong, it's just a difference that you'll have to work out.

ZenNudist · 12/02/2016 21:17

Yanbu except you should have seen this coming. Have you previously asked her to turn it down cause it sounds like you have. If you agreed in advance you were going halves on all bills it's poor form to renege when the bills come in.

It would have been easier to negotiate a reduction when you weren't looking at £1000 between you.

SaucyJack · 12/02/2016 21:27

I dunno.

I'm more with her tbh. £1000 over 6 months between 2 works out at around £20 a week each. I don't think that's a lot to pay to live in a house that's warm enough that you don't need to wear your dressing-gown just to go for a piss.

It's a shame you don't get a say in it tho.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 12/02/2016 22:10

I have my frail and very ill dad living with me. The heating is genuinely on constantly. It’s a large but newish house with excellent insulation. We need the tank filling up every six weeks.

Maybe your housemate’s use isn’t as profligate as you think.

MyKingdomForBrie · 12/02/2016 22:20

I would honestly move. If you can agree a third of this bill then great but I couldn't carry on with someone who expects you to fund their choice to live in a sauna. Set out everything you've said here about having your radiator off etc as regards this bill.

rookiemere · 12/02/2016 22:22

Move out - I had a situation like this once in a flat share where I was literally spending hundreds of pounds a month on a pay meter and this was around 20 years ago.

She wasn't even there half the time, but always had the heating cranked up in her room to max. I'd go in and turn it down but she was never there to get more money for the bill from.

Bottom line is situation isn't going to get better, so find somewhere else.

RoseDeWittBukater · 12/02/2016 22:25

YABU, how bloody miserable to be that cold by choice!

Bringiton2016 · 12/02/2016 22:26

I'd pay it this time but have the conversation about future usage. Get it all out in the open and set ground rules; it doesn't matter if she's the owner, you both live there.

Bookeatingboy · 12/02/2016 22:34

Where are you buying your oil from... I've just filled our tank up for £289, and that's a 1200L tank which is the average size for a residential property.

Heating oil prices are really low at the moment... have you seen the bill?

Marniasmum · 12/02/2016 22:52

we have just paid £600 to fill up ours

DingbatsFur · 12/02/2016 22:55

I paid 22.9 pence a litre last week. £1000 is a lot!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/02/2016 22:56

We have oil - our tank would take £600 ish - and they are never really empty - sludge in the bottom - ask to see the bill.

Marniasmum · 12/02/2016 22:57

1200l tank is tiny!

Original poster
altctrldel · 12/02/2016 23:17

Ive tried talking to her. Explained im uncomfortable with it being that hot. It was her who suggested I turned off the radiator. She said she was always cold. I made a jokey comment that it wasnt surprising when she was stood there in a sleeveless pyjama top and 3/4 bottoms on and no socks.

Ive not seen the bill but the property is large (5 bed but only us 2 live here at the moment. She inherited it from a family member).

It isnt a case of choice. When i moved in she said the bills would work out at max £100 a month as an average. Im only on just above NMW so I dont really have £500 lying about or to be able to afford the luxury of heating a house for 14 hours a day.

I moved in early June and she asked me for £200 towards the oil. I just assumed it would last throughout winter. No doubt she will need to do it again in a few months because I cant see her turning the heating off until August Confused

OP posts:
LordBrightside · 12/02/2016 23:24

A grand to fill your oil tank? What size of tank is it FFS? Heating oil is about 24p a litre and oil tanks are 1200 litres as standard.

LordBrightside · 12/02/2016 23:26

"1200l tank is tiny!"

It's the standard size of tank for a house.

Riderontheswarm · 12/02/2016 23:30

One person or household using this much of the world's resources makes me angry. I don't think people should be allowed to do this. I think there should be a maximum amount of oil, petrol, gas, electricity etc an individual can use and that should be it. It may seem an extreme and unreasonable view but soon there will be nothing left for anyone to use and the environment will be ruined and all because people have been allowed to plunder the earth because they have the cash to pay for it.

So no, yanbu in my opinion.

Padamae · 12/02/2016 23:30

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AugustRose · 12/02/2016 23:41

YANBU and you need to ask to see the bill, I have a 2500l tank (5 bed large farmhouse) and at the current price it would only cost me £600 to fill it and that would last a long time - although not 6 months if it was on all the time that you mention.

I wouldn't be paying half if you are not happy and have talked to her about this before.

Dexterjamesmummy · 13/02/2016 09:55

I've just paid £500 for 1800l, I'd ask to see the bill. I use a site called www.boilerjuice.com get a quote from them next time.

DoreenLethal · 13/02/2016 09:59

A - you need to see the bill.
B - if she can't afford to fill the tank then she needs to turn the heating off and/or find a better supplier.

YouAreMyRain · 13/02/2016 10:31

How is she with finances in general? You definitely need to see the bill. The fact that this refill occurred without warning, when you were not around makes me very suspicious

Lj8893 · 13/02/2016 10:36

£2000 a year for heating is absolutely ridiculous. I used to have a house with oil heating and it cost us about £600 a year (2x £300) to heat our house, and we wernt stingy with the heating either!