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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not pay for half of this oil bill?

43 replies

altctrldel · 12/02/2016 20:26

I live in a house share with another girl who is the owner.

We filled the heating up with oil at the end of July and, without telling me so I was aware the bill was coming, got it filled again last week. I will say we have never had any problems before. We have got on well until today.

The problem:

She is a nightmare with the central heating. She is home 4 days a week and will leave the heating on max from 9am until 10/11pm. You come home and house is like a furnace. She walks around with no socks or slippers on in a thin t shirt and pyjama/lightweight tracksuit trousers.

I'm off work when she works and instead of putting the heating on I chose to buy heavy weight sweatpants, heavy weight jumpers and put my dressing gown on and use a blanket as necessary and at least wear thick socks. The radiator is turned off in my room most of the time as the heating pipes are in there and it's just unbarable to sit in there when she has had the heating on for a serious length of time- she knows this. It honestly gets that hot if I'm sat in the other lounge alone I open the window. When she comes in and I haven't had the heating on it goes straight on regardless of what time it is. I've managed to walk around without a jumper on today and she's put it on at 3 ffs. There was a time she would put it on before going to work but has stopped realising I turn it off as soon as she's out the door.

I don't disagree some heating is needed- but I think a couple of hours in the evening is sufficient. When I lived at home I had it on for maybe 4 hours a night.

The bill is nearly a grand and she asked me today to give her half. I've offered a third. She is going out so we haven't really spoken about it but she clearly thinks IBU.

AIBU?

OP posts:

OhYouLuckyDuck · 13/02/2016 11:03

You really do need to see the bill. Unfortunately you have to pay since you agreed half when you moved in but I'd be having a conversation with her about a 2/3rds-1/3rds split. I think she'll want you to move out though.

breezydoesit · 13/02/2016 12:12

Oil heating? Is this common? I always thought it was more rural places who had oil heating

honeysucklejasmine · 13/02/2016 12:21

£1000?! She wants £500 off you with no warning? Insane. Most people would struggle to come up that with no warning.

I agree you need to see the bill. How big is the tank?

Helennn · 13/02/2016 12:22

What's to say the op doesn't live rurally? I live in a village and have oil heating. There is no gas to the village. It is not that unusual.

GoblinLittleOwl · 13/02/2016 12:31

I think you have to pay this as you agreed to split the bills when you moved in, but you need to negotiate a more reasonable split in future. £1000 sounds an awful lot to fill the tank; ask to see the bill.

You sound like my friend and her flatmate, only in reverse; she is the one who puts radiators on and turns up the heating while walking round in sleeveless tops; the flatmate turns the heating off and wraps herself in blankets to watch TV. But their bills are nowhere near this amount and they are able to compromise.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 13/02/2016 12:38

I think as you agreed to pay half, made some assumptions and didn't check anything you do have to pay half. I think martyring yourself without saying anything is a ridiculous way of going about things.

However, I would want to see the bill as pp said and I'd want to have a conversation about when the heating is on. How much are the others bills working out at? Is this coming within the £100 per month?

Would it be feasible to get another person to move in? Bills in a 5 bed will be very high particularly if the system is old or it's draughty.

Lj8893 · 13/02/2016 12:40

Yes breezy it does tend to be rural villages that don't have gas and run on oil. I'm assuming the op lives in one of those villages.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/02/2016 12:51

I think you have to ask to see the bill.

I also think you have to sit down and explain that your priorities are different, and you don't want to pay half of a gas bill when it makes the house so hot you find it uncomfortable. If this is a dealbreaker for her, and she insists you pay half, then you will do so but find somewhere else to live.

This needn't be a flounce, or a reason not to stay friends! It's just living with people is a very different thing to being friends with someone, and if your needs (reasonable-temperature house and low bills) are fundamentally incompatible with her needs (boiling hot house even when this means high bills), then it's probably best you live apart.

You could also buy her a pair of slippers....

Lweji · 13/02/2016 12:59

You are renting a room in a 5 bed house.
What's happening to the other 3 rooms? Are they being heated?

I agree you should see the bill and pay half of it now and agree on future rules or move out.

FishWithABicycle · 13/02/2016 13:09

Move out.

quietbatperson · 13/02/2016 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 13/02/2016 14:18

oil is well under 30p a litre at the moment.

1200 litre tank is standard size.

primary school maths says she's ripping you off. Or being ripped off by a supplier charging triple the going rate.

Fluffy24 · 13/02/2016 14:30

Can you compromise and turn off/down some radiators? I'm sure it would cut the oil consumption of you only have the heating on alot in the main sitting area, bathroom and her bedroom (keep doors closed into draughty half etc)? You at least need to make sure the other 3 bedrooms (and any other irregularly used reception rooms) have the radiators turned down really low for at least most of the time.

Fluffy24 · 13/02/2016 14:35

But I'd also say that we used to live in a bigger less insulated property and it would indeed have needed about 6,000+ litres of oil to keep it properly warm, as it was we used about half and were permanently freezing!

Plomino · 13/02/2016 14:48

That can't be right , surely ? Is she seriously saying that the house has used about 3000 litres of oil since July ? Really ?

I live in a 5 bedroom house , we filled up to about 1300 litres ( half our tank ) in November , and I checked it yesterday . Even using it all day with a minimum thermostat of 18 , with 7 people including at least 4 having a daily bath, we've still got about 900 litres left . I'd be asking for an invoice if I were you . How big is your tank ?

Andfaraway · 13/02/2016 16:13

While we might all have a different view on her heating use, it is her house. I'd be s bit irritated by a lodger trying to dictate how I ran my house tbh.

But you have to be comfortable as well, so you might approach it in a spirit of compromise. It is her home. If you talked to me in the tone of your first post, I'd just ask you to move out.

If you can't reach a compromise, then I think you'll have to move out.

Lweji · 13/02/2016 16:33

She can certainly run or heat her house as she wants. But not at the expense of her lodger.

buckingfrolicks · 13/02/2016 18:55

I agree with Rider. This kind of use of natural resources really pisses me off. I wouldn't be able to share a house with someone that selfish and stupid, to be honest - plus she's clearly ripping you off with the bill.

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