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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have asked for a cup of tea and slice of toast?

122 replies

listsandbudgets · 11/02/2016 21:30

DD was admitted to hospital overnight yesterday. Thankfully discharged today though still not clear what's wrong with her and she's still clearly ill.

I picked her up from after school club at 4.30 and it became quickly apparent she was very unwell. I called dp who came and took us to A&E where we arrived at 5.30. DP then returned home with 3 year old ds. DD was seen quite quickly and after various long processes we made it to the ward at 11.45pm by which time I'd not had food or drink since a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich at 1pm.

Once dd was settled around 12.15am and it became obvious she wanted me to stay with her which i agreed to do I went to the nurse station and asked if there was anywhere I could get a slice of toast and cup of tea as I'd not had food or drink by that point for over 11 hours.

I was told that as I wasn't a patient there was nothing they could do and I'd need to wait until the cafe opened at 7am. They did give me a cup of water though.

AIBU to think they could at least have risen to a cup of tea. I know I wasn't their patient but its not like I was asking for a feast - I didn't even mind that much about the toast I jsut wanted something warm :(

To be fair at 3.30am a nurse came to do obs on DD and I asked her for a cup of tea and she bought one saying she was surprised I'd not been offered one hours ago Confused

OP posts:
TheDisillusionedAnarchist · 11/02/2016 22:17

Our experience was so much better than that, toast and tea offered even though there were 2 of us so one could leave and when we went to PICU the matron of the ward we'd been on came down with toast and tea as no toast on PICU. Appreciate it now reading this.

Enkopkaffetak · 11/02/2016 22:17

YANBU op. Not at all the experience I have had with children in hospital. DD3 went in last year due to a eye problem there was tea and coffee making facilities all the time with a box to pop donations in (also biscuits there)
Breakfast was served for both patient and parent. and tea offered several times by the nurses.

I was in GOSH with ds in January for a minor op (prepping for a larger one later this year) and even only in as a day patient I was offered tea/coffee 4 times. over a 6 hour period.

Really thought this was normal. Even in maternity ward 18 years ago (day after tomorrow) dh was served tea and toast after dd1 had been delivered. (I have fonder memories of the bacon sandwiches he made us after dd3's safe homebirth but thats off topic :) )

MrsFrankRicard · 11/02/2016 22:19

YANBU to ask. They don't have meals for parents but in our local kids hospital, they will give a cup of tea and they kept a jug of iced water topped up for me, I was occasionally offered a leftover packaged sandwich from the fridge when I was there with DS for 4 days, however there was also a parents lounge with a vending machine which had ready meals in it and a microwave next to it. Weirdly, when our older DC came to visit they were offered yoghurt and milk. The first night he was admitted (unexpectedly so I had no supplies), I was given toiletries and scrubs to sleep in (!) as he had projectile vomited all over me. It probably depends who you get!

Lightbulbon · 11/02/2016 22:24

Yes they were mean.

But a good rule is never go to a hospital without a flask and bagful of food!

Sirzy · 11/02/2016 22:29

Our peads ward has a parents room thankfully so you can get tea or toast at any time. To take the tea to a bedside you need to use a travel mug though which is fair enough.

I don't think staff should be expected to provide relatives with food and drink though. If they can then great but the wards are busy enough without that being an expectation.

TheWatchersCouncil · 11/02/2016 22:32

Clearly YANBU as the 3.30 am nurse gave you tea and was surprised you had not been offered it earlier.

rosy71 · 11/02/2016 22:34

I think I have been in 4 different hospitals with my children. Some have had tea/coffee & toast freely available to make yourself in the parents' kitchen. Last year, ds2 spent a month in hospital. When we arrived, having been transferred from somewhere else, a nurse made me a cup of ea, which was lovely. The rest of the time you had to provide your own though. You could buy lunch in the restaurant & they would do it as a "take away" so you could take it back to the ward.

hollinhurst84 · 11/02/2016 22:36

I must have been lucky! Sat with my nan the night before she died, fell asleep in the chair about 5am. Woke up to a nurse putting a blanket around me and bringing me toast and tea. Always remember how kind she was for doing that

DonttouchthatLarry · 11/02/2016 22:36

I've had to take my elderly mum to A&E several times and we've always been offered tea.

serin · 11/02/2016 22:37

I think the answer is for vending machines to be provided so that staff can get on with caring for patients and parents don't starve.

We also order pizza and takeaways into our hospital.

expatinscotland · 11/02/2016 22:44

'AIBU to think they could at least have risen to a cup of tea. I know I wasn't their patient but its not like I was asking for a feast - I didn't even mind that much about the toast I jsut wanted something warm sad

To be fair at 3.30am a nurse came to do obs on DD and I asked her for a cup of tea and she bought one saying she was surprised I'd not been offered one hours ago confused'

I think YABU. It's not a restaurant. There were no vending machines at all, in the entire hospital?

I don't think it's the staff's job to bring you tea and toast. I lived with my DD1 for 8 months in hospital. Would not have considered asking the staff to bring me a hot drink and make me toast.

Hope your DD is well soon.

Jibberjabberjooo · 11/02/2016 22:45

I have never worked on a children's ward without a kitchen that parents can access to make a cup of tea.

Toasters are often banned but even so, bread and cereal is usually readily available.

Xmasbaby11 · 11/02/2016 22:46

That is hard. There is usually a vending machine for drinks and snacks.

I am basing my knowledge on Corrie, however.

GinBunny · 11/02/2016 22:49

DFiL has often been in hospital overnight and there is a station on every ward with hot drinks and biscuits, you just help yourself. He's also often been given a paper bag with a sandwich, crisps and a carton of drink in the early hours.
DF was in another hospital 5 miles down the road and there was nothing, not even a vending machine. Vending machines are all well and good though but when you're called in an emergency and don't have any change in your purse for parking let alone a cuppa they quickly become redundant!

SirChenjin · 11/02/2016 22:50

I don't think it's the staff's job to bring you tea and toast

She didn't ask them to bring her tea and toast - she "asked if there was anywhere I could get a slice of toast and cup of tea". I presume she would have been quite happy to make it herself. When I've been on the wards with DS there has always been a kitchen where parents could get a snack.

LadyStoicIsBack · 11/02/2016 22:55

Hollin What a very lovely memory; just proves how much those small gestures really meanFlowers

In the Imperial Group of hospitals in London (Charing Cross/St.Marys/Hammersmith Hospitals) there are vending machines for HOT food!!!

I was sooooo Shock when I saw it! Works like any other vending machine except it's refrigerated and has a microwave built into it which opens once your product falls into the 'slot' at the bottom of the machine..... you then swipe the barcode on the product across scanner on microwave and it knows exactly how long to 'ping' forGrin

I'm talking sausage baguettes, potato wedges, bacon sarnies here - just how cool is that?! Should be one in every hospital! And it generates income for the hospital via the placement rent the firm who runs it have to pay - genius non?!!

hmcAsWas · 11/02/2016 22:55

Yanbu - when my dd was admitted with appendicitis I was shown the visitors kitchen and told I could help myself to hot drinks ...

LadyStoicIsBack · 11/02/2016 22:56

Oh, and it Pizza too!!!

icclemunchy · 11/02/2016 22:59

I'm diabetic and when on after having DD2 had to provide my own hypo treatment because they don't do food outside of meal times Hmm

It's a shame they couldn't even direct you to somewhere you could get a cup of tea though even if they couldn't provide it on the ward

SirChenjin · 11/02/2016 22:59

Lady - You seem quite impressed by that vending machine Grin Grin

bodenbiscuit · 11/02/2016 23:02

YANBU - whenever I've been in the hospital with any of my dds I've always been offered tea and toast.

bodenbiscuit · 11/02/2016 23:03

You can't exactly leave the hospital or order a takeaway.

TannhauserGate · 11/02/2016 23:04

When we were in A&E for 12 hours with DH, in the middle of the night, the staff offered us both cups of tea and in the morning, breakfast followed by lunch!
I was v surprised, but they insisted.

expatinscotland · 11/02/2016 23:05

PICU didn't have access to a kitchen, BUT you are not allowed hot drinks in there, even in a flask.

All the other wards had a parent kitchen, though.

And there were vending machines in the lobby and on certain floors. They were those 'Pour Moi' things for hot drinks, but well, it works in a pinch.

Lots of places don't allow toasters anymore due to their propensity to set the fire alarm off if not used properly.

TannhauserGate · 11/02/2016 23:05

They're not allowed toasters, btw. fire hazard and attract vermin Sad