to be shocked about university students on sugar daddy type websites

[wintersocks]

In the recent news reports - and amount of students doing it. It seems from the numbers they're talking about that this sort of thing has been normalised. I'd be horrified if dd did it at university tbh. But nobody seems especially upset does that mean this sort of thing will continue or get worse?

. I appreciate that some people don't see it like that, but would be horrified if my children thought they could be bought as a commodity.

Everyone should have respect for other people, treat them as equal, whoever they are. You are not equal if your body has been bought.

Would you alert any daughters you may have to the advantages of a "career" in prostitution, Babycham?

Doh! X-post!

I'd rather they weren't prostitutes, Tory MPs, Mormons or WAGs. It's their choice though, and I'll love and support them no matter what they choose to do with their lives.

So if a poster doesnt agree with you they should advise their kids to go into prostitution?

It was an interesting debate thus far but personal insults just derail and make it so boring MN is beginning to remind me of certain forums I used to avoid because of all that. Another thread to hide..

If you think something is fine for "other people", but not good enough for your children, then the reality is it is not good enough for "other people" either.

Point. Missed!

I don't have a problem with women prostitututing themselves IF it does not involve any kind of coercion and they are doing because that's what they want to do - although I fear that would be a small minority of prostitutes.

What worries me about this is that these girls are still so young. I did any number of really twattish things in my teens/early twenties, because I wasn't fully mature then. They haven't ever lived away from home before, haven't had any experience of being an adult - and are probably not making the most sensible of decisions. I think most of them will look back on what they did and cringe, and probably feel a bit disgusted with themselves. It's a line that has been crossed that can never be uncrossed. I have friends who had short stints of working in massage parlours as teenagers and even nearly 20 years on it eats away at them.

I think it's that age old exchange - youth/beauty for money/power. It happens in implicit ways all around us every day, which is why I think this explicit exchange is being normalised.

A few weeks before I started at a London uni in September 2009, I was messaged on Facebook by a woman trying to recruit first years to lap dance at a central London 'gentleman's club'. I ignored it but when I got to my accommodation a number of other girls had received the same message and a few were curious enough to meet her for a chat. No one ended up dancing to my knowledge - it sounded like bloody hard work for starters!

I only know one girl who funded her degree through sex work - she actually received a generous loan and grant, the same as me, but she wanted to live very comfortably while studying. She enjoyed it at the time but now says she regrets it hugely. It's 'changed her' - her outlook on men, relationships and life in general will never be the same.

I hear from a lot of young women my age that sex work can be empowering. In the wider context of the world and the imbalance of power between genders, I don't think that could be any further from the truth.

cleaty quite. Even with masks, goggles, gloves and plastic aprons - all of which are worn by other professionals who come into contact with bodily fluids - it STILL wouldn't be safe.

And that's not even taking into account the risk of violence, just infection.

Sugar daddy is another name for dirty old (rich) man

You are not equal if your body has been bought

Nice

littlefluffy

I totally agree with your point but would add young women need to be educated about this.
Yes, some will still do it but some will take sage advice from older women, some parents, outside speakers at uni.
I also think other factors such as how we treat them during childhood and the relationship we have with them has a bearing too.

Babycham1979 have you read anything about or seen any of the documentaries about the German brothels?

They are horrific.

Reading this reminded me of a conversation I had a while back with a colleague. He stays in the city and was talking about the increase in numbers of prostitutes hanging around the street he lives because the students were back from there summer holidays. When I asked him what he was on about, he said that half the uni spent there evenings on the street to pay for there nights out.

Unfortunately this is common practice in the US (ie, flying into Vegas for the weekend) where college fees are sharply higher than on the UK.

Meh it's like a dating website except what the men bring is money and the women youth and looks. Whilst it's pretty much prostitution they probably only see 1 or 2 men which they will have a long term arrangement with so it isn't as dangerous as conventional prostitution, they won't be seeing random men everyday. Well no more dangerous than regular dating anyway. Also they can still choose who they see.

The people doing this are young beautiful intelligent women, who really aren't in a desperate situation they just want a fancy lifestyle. Does make me wonder how all the students who aren't female and attractive are faring.

Their situation isn't in your face prostitution they will go on dates, travel together go shopping together basically do the same things people in the early stages of a new relationship do, the sex would be a part of that so not a straight up transaction so they can both pretend they are just having a good time.

Odd way to phrase the first post. The men who go on these sites are the shocking ones, not the students.

My DH is exotically older. He helped me financially through uni. However, no websites were involved and we didn't pose for Daily Fail

I'd rather they weren't prostitutes, Tory MPs, Mormons or WAGs

I am neither a Tory MP, a Mormon or a WAG , but the hackneyed triteness of that remark certainly assists in my disregarding the rest of your arguments on this subject.

They are intelligent people, if they want to do this rather than working a low paid job, then I think it's pretty crap to judge them or the men they date. They aren't being 'trafficked', both parties know what's expected of them - it's none of anyone's business.

some will take sage advice - Good luck with that. How much 'sage advice' would you have taken at that age? And if they aren't being harmed, who the hell are we to tell them what they should and shouldn't do?

They aren't victims, perhaps we should not treat them as such. Some women marry rich older men so they can have a certain lifestyle (see the likes of Peter Stringfellow etc) - is that any different? Or are they prostitutes too?

I have a friend involved in making a documentary on this - it is prostitution, the girls may be told they won't need to put out but the men expect it and pressure them into it. The men are old and ugly, the girls are young and naive. It's grim.

Holowiwi has made the point that I was going to make. If these young women feel that they have or want to do this, what are the women who are not beautiful doing? Or the men?

If a rich, old dude wants to pay a woman to go out for dinner with him, more fool him. However, I think what makes me uncomfortable (apart from the prostitution, which I think has been covered elsewhere) is that school / university isn't meant to be about who is the prettiest / most beautiful.

I realise this makes me sound naive but I think there's a difference between the situation I had at university (some girls had more boys after them than others but no one wore flashy clothes etc that I noticed) and this new situation (the girls thought "beautiful" get taken out by rich men and wear fancier clothes, do more exciting things). University is meant to be about developing your mind and personality, not tarting yourself up to attract rich, old men.

I think that if men are so desperate that they have to PAY for sex, maybe they'd rather pay a university-going mistress than a drug-taking streetwalker.