Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw fiancé out?

30 replies

FizStape · 09/02/2016 18:40

My DP has always been an amazing dad to my little girl (5) and I can't fault him. We live together in a small home and work locally and he also has a DD (3) who lives here. All seemed perfect.

But I am furious with him because he spent a fortune we just didn't have at Christmas. He wanted to spend it to give DD1 who was unwell a Christmas she wouldn't forget and ran up a load of debt. I've had to go back to work to help pay our debts and I could really have done with some extra time with DD1.

Anyway so I sold my engagement ring Sad to pay for our debts and then he decided to treat me and spent money on wine!

AIBU to be furious? He just doesn't get it ...

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 09/02/2016 18:41

It seems a bit ott tbh. Have you sat down and agreed a budget etc so he knows if he can splurge or not? A bottle of wine doesn't seem excessive to me.

Sighing · 09/02/2016 18:44

Yanbu. Who buys luxuries when you're having to sell stuff and compromise on childcare to pay back the shit he's left you all in?

theycallmemellojello · 09/02/2016 18:44

Yes, he should not run up debt without you knowing. If you think there's a danger of this happening in the future, then I think that it is worth rethinking the relationship. I think you need to agree boundaries and budgets, but that depends on your feeling you can trust him to stick to them. Good luck.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 09/02/2016 18:46

Do you have joint finances? Sit him down and go through your out goings and incomings and create a budget. Make it clear to him that having a stable home which doesn't involve parents being stressed about money is much more important to DC then having big over the top presents.
Does he know you sold your ring to pay off the debts he ran up? What has he done to contribute to clearing the debt that he created?

Original poster
FizStape · 09/02/2016 18:48

Oh, I feel so bad now Blush I was being Fiz from Coronation street!

OP posts:
GloriousGoosebumps · 09/02/2016 18:48

Are we talking about Coronation Street?

MadHattersWineParty · 09/02/2016 18:49

What happened to the loan he got from his boss at the garage?

Perhaps you should ask the lodger to give you more rent.

TeacherKS1 · 09/02/2016 18:50

Don't worry, one of you will probably win the lottery/be left a huge sum in a will/die in a massive car/tram/bus/train crash etc. This may happen around Christmas or New Year. You'd be better off reading one of the magazines to see how your life will pan out.

SquinkiesRule · 09/02/2016 18:50

What kind of Numpty buys wine to treat you, when you just sold off your ring to pay debts he ran up. He's an idiot. Is he always so bad with money?

Chinks123 · 09/02/2016 18:50

Do you watch coronation street by any chance....either you are the real life fiz or you've just copied a soap storyline and put it on mums net Grin weird

HereIAm20 · 09/02/2016 18:51

Lol - I think you should stop being a whiner Fiz - you're really dragging me down. Poor Tyrone having to put up with you!

Chinks123 · 09/02/2016 18:51

Ahhh slow typer I called it before you admitted though wooo!

Chinks123 · 09/02/2016 18:52

Didn't even notice your name was FizStape though Blush

Original poster
FizStape · 09/02/2016 18:52

He's suggested I should stop buying cakes at work which I think is totally unreasonable!

Maybe we could cut down on our childcare bill by actually having the kids in our care occasionally?

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 09/02/2016 18:55

Well, it's not really fair if you're chugging down a cream horn at work while you're on a limited budget, IMHO.

What does he get for his sandwiches?

Original poster
FizStape · 09/02/2016 18:58

He eats at the cafe which is also another place we could make savings. I feel sacrificing my cream horn after being put in prison, my husband dying, premature birth of DD1, being painted as a stalker and going to stay with my mum for months without the girls - well a cream horn isn't asking much is it?

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 09/02/2016 19:00

Bit of a drip feed there!

But okay OP, I don't think anyone would deny you a cream horn after going through all that.

Who looks after your girls if you both work?

Original poster
FizStape · 09/02/2016 19:02

good question

There's this childminder ... Who has our girls, a neighbours DS who is 4, another neighbours baby who is 2 and another 2 year old who was actually born by surrogate!

Maybe she's over the limit of kids. But I don't actually know who she is.

OP posts:
SweetieDrops · 09/02/2016 19:04

Sell one of your kids to Jenny the child snatcher, that will pay off your debts Wink

MadHattersWineParty · 09/02/2016 19:05

I think Ofsted might be interested to hear about her tbh. She could be breaking safeguarding regulations. However if you've got a good deal re cost, I'd be tempted to leave it until your finances are in better order. Cheap and local childcare is so hard to find!

But you should probably find out who she is.

Oldraver · 09/02/2016 19:10

Isn't there a special section you can go and play these silly games ?

bessiebumptious2 · 09/02/2016 19:11

You should LTB. He was much, much happier before you came along. Grin

ScoutsMam · 09/02/2016 19:13

Isn't there a special section you can go and play these silly games ?

AIBU isn't the height of intellectual debate though. I always thought AIBU and Chat was the place for fun. If OP had posted in relationships I could see your point.

SquinkiesRule · 10/02/2016 14:49

Jenny's got no money to buy one of the kids, but I'm sure she'll watch them for less than the childminder for you. Just don't worry if she's late back with them. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't run off with them.

maz210 · 10/02/2016 14:58

I'm with oldraver, why can't this go in whatever section you'd usually discuss TV?

I don't watch Corrie and therefore thought the OP was real, it's a bit irritating.