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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guests using your shower gel?

263 replies

MrsB76 · 08/02/2016 16:46

This is really just a minor niggle but I'm curious - is it really silly of me to begrudge visiting family members the use of my shower gel? I just had my MIL and SIL stay for a few days overnight and I bought them travel size toiletries (they came on a plane) and DH thinks I should be more hospitable and just let them use my shower gel (well mine and his) and toothpaste. Really?

OP posts:
shinynewusername · 08/02/2016 20:03

I'm coming to yours, beagle, I love Radox.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/02/2016 20:05

I always stock the bathroom with loads of stuff so that guests can help themselves.

Some of you are squeaky tight.

ZiggyFartFace · 08/02/2016 20:25

I always take my own but would always be happy if someone used mine. Why not? No problem with soap, toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo, hairdryer, bed, bed linen, towels, hot water, food, wine. They are my guests after all. I always have spare toothbrushes in case people forget.
I think leaving nicked hotel miniatures out for guests is very odd, unless they are very flash.

Dammyjoder · 08/02/2016 20:29

I agree with the hiv comment, my DP has hiv and keeps her toothbrush locked away but that might not be the case with everyone and most people with hiv are advised not to disclose that they have it... People really should be careful.

Ambroxide · 08/02/2016 20:45

I would not be OK with sharing:

toothbrush
deodorant
razor
make up inc brushes etc

Anything else is totally up for grabs. And I buy Sainsbury's Basics toothbrushes for people who forget one. They are about 20p or something and perfectly fine for a few nights.

yankeecandle4 · 08/02/2016 20:50

That said I would never begrudge a guest using mine! If you're in my house as my guest, I am paying. I wouldn't ask them to bring dishwasher tablets for washing their dishes with hmm

That reminds me of my SIL who did quite a lot of washes in my washing machine because she had extra loads (I offered, didn't think anything of it) The one time I had to ask her she stood by the washing machine policing what I was putting in, then demanded to know where my powder was. I had never asked her to bring her own, nor would it have occurred to me Hmm

MackerelOfFact · 08/02/2016 20:56

I think years of houseshares in my formative years have clouded my judgement on this one a bit. In a houseshare you just don't use other people's stuff, unless you're desperate and then you ask. But clearly this is a different matter, especially once you start involving 'guest bathrooms' and the like!

One thing I have learnt today though is not not leave my 'pits and bits' soap in the shower when I have guests over, as apparently my houseguests may take a shine to it. Blush

CantChoose · 08/02/2016 20:56

I'm happy for guests to use mine but I try and give them a mini set (usually 'borrowed' from a hotel or aeroplane), I think it's nice :)

RonaldMcDonald · 08/02/2016 21:09

you are being completely unreasonable

maggiethemagpie · 08/02/2016 21:22

I've always assumed that toothpaste/shower gel etc are shared with guests and wouldn't bring my own when staying with hosts. If I had something really expensive I did not want to share with guests I'd put it away and put out something cheaper.

ifyoulikepinacolada · 08/02/2016 21:25

Hang on. When i brush my teeth i squeeze the toothpaste onto my toothbrush but at no point do brush bristles come into contact with toothpaste tube. How are pps toothpasting their toothbrushes for there to be cross contamination???

CookieDoughKid · 08/02/2016 21:31

Are you mad? You have every right to keep your stuff to yourself but honestly, I don't think you should host guests if you feel like that! We're talking pence here!!

Gatehouse77 · 08/02/2016 21:44

I take my own due to having sensitive skin. If the kids are going somewhere they have travel sized stuff which, I assume, they use.

It wouldn't bother me one iota if guests used mine. I'd feel more bleurgh if they didn't wash! I haven't even considered providing separate toiletries for guests! But, I do provide (clean) towels and bedding. PIL have previously offered to bring bedding with them to save us the bother but I think it's my job as the host to do it and it's no effort.

yankeecandle4 · 08/02/2016 21:45

if I was wondering the same thing! I have taught my children how to squeeze the toothpaste accordingly so that the nozzle does not come into contact with the bristles.

Do people really have separate soaps for pits and bits? I have one budget shower gel that everyone uses.

nattyknitter · 08/02/2016 21:49

I'm really odd. If I stay with other people I always take my own toiletries. I travel a lot so have a go bag with toiletries and medication in, so just take that along with me. I also take my own towels just in case none are put out. I always think that if none are put out for you then they don't expect you to use theirs. I wouldn't like to have to ask for them.

However, when I have guests I provide everything. Each spare bed space has a set of towels of varying sizes plus a flannel (to match the room so I know where it belongs). I also leave out travel toiletries, mostly nabbed from hotels, plus el cheapo toothbrushes in packets just in case. I really wouldn't mind anyone using the stuff in the bathroom either though, apart from my toothbrush. I also leave bathrobes in each room as I have quite a few. I'd be upset if people didn't feel comfortable enough to use the things put out for them.

Generally I give guests a tour and show them where to find stuff they might need, including where the tea, breakfast basics and snacks are kept. If someone gets up before me I want them to know they are welcome to grab a cuppa and something to eat if they are hungry.

I am a believer in 'mi casa, su casa' though.

Muskateersmummy · 08/02/2016 21:54

I tend to take my own toothpaste and shower gels with me when I stay at someone's house.

Here they use a different bathroom to us, so they have their own full size toiletries in there to use.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 08/02/2016 21:57

I wouldn't want to use someone else's toothpaste. I'm imagining the dried crusty tops of my DCs' toothpaste tubes - bleurgh! They each have their own tube as they don't like the idea of their toothbrush touching something that has also had someone else's toothbrush on it. I am inclined to agree and only share with dp.

Shower gel is not the same as it doesn't really touch the other person's body, but I wouldn't want to share a bar of soap with a guest/host for the same reason, it's been on someone else's bum crack, so I don't want to use it!

Ambroxide · 08/02/2016 22:02

Do people really put the actual soap bar on their bums? I put soap on my hands/flannel which I then use to wash with. Then I rinse off so my hands are clean again (so obv no issues with touching the soap again).

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 08/02/2016 22:12

When I read these threads it's always the same - I provide for guests - But take my own!!

So who doesn't provide for guests AND nicks hosts stuff??

Someone must??

Yes I leave stuff to be used ... I always have dare toothbrushes .... I take the small sample toothpaste from the dentist that's sis in a basket in the first bathroom - but these are usually forgotten items - not an expected item!

coconutpie · 08/02/2016 22:17

MackerelOfFact - you'd let a guest use your razor? WTF? That is actually irresponsible, nevermind disgusting - you are exposing yourself to infections / diseases etc.

OP, I wouldn't share my bathroom products (I use Molton Brown shampoo, conditioner, shower gel) but I do have mini sized MB shower gels which I have in the main bathroom (we have an ensuite) as well as small sized shampoo / conditioner (some other brand from a hotel). I would definitely NOT share toothpaste. Hell no.

coconutpie · 08/02/2016 22:17

Oh and no way would I share a bar of soap!!!

RavioliOnToast · 08/02/2016 22:18

I wouldn't mind at all if somebody used mine, however I'd always take mine when travelling.

TooMuchRain · 08/02/2016 22:20

This is one of the weirdest threads. I don't see any difference between hand soap and shower gel, if people come to visit they are guests in our house not a bloody hostel. The only thing I have a stock of for guests is toothbrushes in case they forget.

Ambroxide · 08/02/2016 22:29

I don't get the difference between hand soap and shower gel either. You touch them (this isn't actually a problem for me but I can see it is for some), you wash, you rinse all parts of your body and probably the soap/gel too if it's in the shower with you. Where is the risk of accidentally encountering someone else's bum germs? And even if you did, it almost certainly wouldn't do you a scrap of harm.

Ambroxide · 08/02/2016 22:30

It's SOAP (or detergent) anyway! It gets rid of germs!

I'm assuming germs are the problem with the soap and toothpaste non-sharers here. Maybe it's something even weirder.