Guests using your shower gel?

[MrsB76]

This is really just a minor niggle but I'm curious - is it really silly of me to begrudge visiting family members the use of my shower gel? I just had my MIL and SIL stay for a few days overnight and I bought them travel size toiletries (they came on a plane) and DH thinks I should be more hospitable and just let them use my shower gel (well mine and his) and toothpaste. Really?

if i visit family or friends i often forget my toothbrush and just use one from their bathroom

I've had ulcerative gingivitis due to issues with my immune system. Not only would you be exposing me to more health problems, you would be exposing yourself too.

Absolutely disgusting.

I'd hate it if people used my stuff and find it very rude, unless it was my parents or brother. But even at home we had different shampoos and shower gels (ladies and gents) so not sure how this would occur. I always take a washbag with everything I need.

I have two types of shampoo in my shower, one is only for my use. Because I have blonde hair and its a silver shampoo. But anything else in the shower is fair game (I keep my super expensive shower gel in the cupboard, along with my super expensive toothpaste that no one but me uses) (well expensive for toothpaste at £13 a tube)

But generally, anything in the house is fair game.

My au pair knows to just go in my room and help herself to anything she wants (nail varnish, make up etc.)

In my house the only rule is leave it as you find it.

I have very expensive Chanel bubble bath which layers with my perfume so I'd take that out of the bathroom and substitute Waitrose Essential Kelp and Sea Salt like a pp (gotta love Waitrose's very individual definition of Essential).

I never cease to be amazed at how inhospitable some people are on MN. I don't think I know anyone in real life who would grudge their guests the use of their toiletries.

I looked it up on Debrett's out of curiosity and the answer is...

The problem won't arise as the guests will either have their own bathroom or be sharing one with other guests

"If guests have their own bathroom put towels there. A bath towel, a medium-sized towel for hair, a hand towel and a bathmat will be needed. If they are sharing a bathroom with other guests, leave the clean towels in the bedroom. It is not necessary to provide body lotion, as in a hotel, but there should be some untouched soap and possibly bath essence, shower gel and shampoo in the bathroom."

For those of us who don't have that luxury, I'm sure I read somewhere that if it's on show you can use it, if it isn't you can't. I think common sense prevails though. Personally I wouldn't mind people using my shower gel, soap or shampoo but I'd consider most other things non-essentials for visiting.

All those who are squeamish about things being transferred from mouths to toothpaste etc - how on earth have you coped with snogging throughout your lives?

And don't say that it's OK cos it's your DH/DP whatever - he/she was a stranger once!

Why not?

Anything out of bounds, I'd put separately or explain why it was only for me.

Jessie - I would never want to snog my father-in-law. Bad breath and dentures! I don't want that anywhere near my brush!!!

Our guest room has an ensuite shower room so posh not & there is nice shower gel & soap for guests to use, plus a few little travel-sized ones on the windowsill. I also provide towels, a bathrobe & shower hat.

I don't leave out toothpaste but always have spares if anyone asked, similar with deodorant, shampoo, toothbrushes.

When I'm visiting I take everything I need apart from towels, but often use the shower gel provided if I fancy trying it. Everyone i visit provides towel, & shower gel but nothing else routinely.

It is rather fascinating that toothpaste specifically seems to be considered personal and intimate. When you visit someone you are sitting on the same toilet seat they are; nowt more up close and personal than that.

As a side issue toothpaste is more or less the same. The supermarket value (18p, not that I've bought it ) does the same job as the £5 tube. They contain the same amount of fluoride. You are paying for coloured/striped/flecked stuff that you spit down the plughole. In the UK high fluoride toothpaste is prescription only.

I would find the thoughtfulness of travel sized toiletries more hospitable. But wouldn't have a problem with sharing, either.

yankee, I see what you mean, but it's the idea of someone else's manky toothbrush poking around at my toothpaste that gets me. I can cope with the family's germs, since I'll probably catch them all anyway, but that's my limit!

As a side issue toothpaste is more or less the same. The supermarket value (18p, not that I've bought it grin ) does the same job as the £5 tube. They contain the same amount of fluoride. You are paying for coloured/striped/flecked stuff that you spit down the plughole. In the UK high fluoride toothpaste is prescription only.

The dentist told us that, and we've bought it from Tesco Value ever since. They taste identical, too, because strong mint flavour is strong mint flavour.

I listened to an etiquette guy on the radio recently (i think he had advised on Downton Abbey or summat) and he said it was very low brow to give guests travel toiletries in a basket, etc.

Agree with that. All the MN neuroses about letting people into your house, sharing shower gel, fretting about the postman seeing you in your dressing gown are incredibly lower middle class. If you are posh, you don't give a rat's testicle. (Or lion's testicle, if one's hice comes with a safari park)

Chipped, i would hope that my friends/family would tell me that before suggesting i use one of their toothbrushes or before they used mine. This is very close people by the way, not just random acquaintances i may be visiting. I am staying at Mums tonight and i have just said 'oh cack, i forgot my toothbrush' and she said 'oh just use mine or dads'. That's fairly standard for us.

They are welcome to use mine. Most people - like me! - are picky and enjoy bringing mini ones, but it wouldn't bother me at all.

I provide shower-gel and toothpaste for guests I think that's polite. The toothpaste is the type in a small squeezy bottle not a tube. I keep mine out of sight (in a washbag in bathroom cabinet) as I wouldn't like anyone using mine. I worry in case someone has a coldsore or gum disease! I also put a mini size sealed tube in guest toiletries basket in case anyone forgets theirs and doesn't want to use a communal one.

Again I keep my favourite shower-gel out of sight but I put a couple out for others to use, usually an unscented one and a more moisturising one. Plus a bottle of shampoo and conditioner and tube of facial wash. I also leave out a bottle of body-lotion and fragrance-free antiperspirant spray. In guest basket are mini soaps, shower-caps, toothbrushes, flossing sticks (all sealed) and individually wrapped make-up remover wipes. If anyone forgets something I'd rather they didn't root through cabinet!

IMO you should provide toiletries for guests, just simple basics that can be used by both genders. Many of my friends travel by train so have limited space to cart toiletries around.

I always take my own toiletries when visiting but would expect to be able to use some in bathroom if I forgot.

Mrs Koala I am slovenly laissez faire about cleanliness/hygiene but I wouldn't in my wildest desperation share a toothbrush with someone else (even my children) The mouth is the "dirtiest" part of the body and as another poster pointed out bacterial and viral infections (including HIV) can be passed this way.

If I have a guest of course they can use any of my toiletries, I find it really odd that someone would begrudge that surely these would be people who are your friends or family!

I think its sad that people are so precious about their own 'stuff' they can't being themselves to share.

Im happy for anyone to use my shampoo etc. I normally buy nice shower gel when i have visitors as I use soap and not everyone likes it.
I like my guests to feel like at home so they can help themselves to anything, shampoo, toothpaste, any food and so on.

I usually take my own when I visit others, just in case they don't have the stuff I like plus MIL only has silvery violet shampoo stuff.

That said I would never begrudge a guest using mine! If you're in my house as my guest, I am paying. I wouldn't ask them to bring dishwasher tablets for washing their dishes with

I rarely stay at anyone's house except close familyl, and very rarely have anyone stay over (twice in the last two years, as I recall). I do use my hosts' toiletries when staying over, although DH and I usually bring our own toothpaste, but always shy away from anything that looks expensive. If I were staying with someone I know less well, or were staying for more than a couple of days, I would bring my own toiletries. I always assume that people will want to use my toiletries when staying, and make sure we have enough.

I'm amazed at some of these responses. I wouldn't expect guests to use my shower gel - it's £1 radox stuff. The guest bathroom has molton brown stuff. And the nicer towels. I'm clearly too nice 😀

I happily put out shower gel, bath oils, shampoo, soap etc for guests and also tell them just to ask if there's anything else they need. They're also welcome to make drinks, help themselves to food etc.
I really don't understand the problem with toothpaste, it's not as if they're going to be sucking it from the tube!