To want to do the things I've always wanted to do now I'm retired and not give DC house deposit money

[Mumcouchtotri]

I've worked for over 35 years. I've recently retired and finally I have a reasonable income (34kk - I still have to pay income tax on that and have a few btl that give no income now but should do in 3-5 years when mortgages are paid off) considering I have no mortgage or debt outstanding. I have two DC (23 and 26) who both live in the south east. Iknow theybwould like s house, but I've said I won't be able to help them st all. I think all help ends at 18, now I want to enjoy my life - go on cruises , have a new CSR etc. Just simple stuff like that that I've never done.

It does seem most of their friends are getting help from parents. But surely not all? Your responsibility with a child ends financially once they are an adult working full time?

Renting now is far more regulated and landlords have obligations to their tenants.

Please tell me you aren't so utterly ignorant as to think these obligations are actually followed through all the time tatt? There's a colossal problem with slum landlords shitting all over their legal responsibilities, and tenants not being able to enforce the legal rights they have on paper because they just get turfed out. Honestly, did you genuinely not know that or are you just engaging in hyperbole?

Not a secure childhood with foreign holidays here btw, since you seem to have decided that's the qualifier for commenting on the colossal generational inequality.

We bought a flat which had been a BTL nest egg fur a retired couple.

We have had to spend £20,000 in repairs to the building due to the neglect.
The downstairs neighbour was flooded nine times by the tenants

A few weeks ago my 11year old was nearly electrocuted by some extremely dodgy wiring at a power point.

That us why people do not like to rent. Amateur landlords wanting to make a quick buck.

We need more social housing. We need council housing for young people.

That won't happen while so many are invested in multiple property ownership.

What's a CSR?
I think if you can it's good to help your kids but if you can't you don't have to. It's up to you.
Buying a house is extremely difficult now. Without help your kids will not be in the same situation you are now when they are your age.

OP it's totally your choice but the way I see it, is my inheritance from my parents will go to help my children. That's the way it was for me, the help my mum gave me was due to her inheritance from her mother. And I hope when I go my children will use my money to help their children. Just passing it down the chain.

But this is what I would do, I believe you're entitled to make your own decisions. Your money your choice.

RhodaBull. If you thought I was flaming you that wasn't the case at all. I was just surprised hence my "if I read it wrong/misunderstood" comment. Reading the post it sounded as though there was some enjoyment in putting your dementia suffering PIL in cheaper care facilities even though it sounded as though they had the funds for better care. The enjoyment seemed to be based on the fact you felt the gifts they gave family members historically were substandard and the didn't pay your DH university maintenance. I was genuinely just surprised and felt very uncomfortable with the reasons why a lower standard care facility was chosen.

that DM article about the 1970s photos is disgusting. The photos are what they are, and quite horrifying - I knew some children in our school who came from places not quite that bad but they had very little money, insufficient to clothe and shoe their children properly, and often no hot water for whatever reason. I'd say about 1/5 of the children in my junior school year came from homes like that.

What is disgusting about that article is the way it's trying to downplay the poverty that some people in the UK are finding themselves in now. "Ooo look at these photos, these people had it REALLY bad, today's so-called "poverty-stricken" families don't have THESE problems, they just can't afford playstations!" Yes of course. That's why food banks in the UK have exploded, I'm sure they supply playstations alongside food essentials, don't they. Oh wait, no they don't. They supply FOOD because people can't afford food AND rent AND electricity/gas AND water. Maybe they don't have 3 out of 4 of those, in fact. Maybe they also live in darkness and cold just to keep paying the rent.
So thanks for that DM - you just tell everyone how their lives can't POSSIBLY be as bad as some had it in the 1970s, because obviously they're making their own poverty up and demarking it by the lack of a playstation.

With respect to you, I don't accept that this is quite as clear cut as you make out in your original post. It's not a choice between helping your children and enjoying your retirement - it is perfectly possible to do both. Although none of us know the ins and outs of your finances if you are the sort that has saved sensibly and worked hard to get your retirement finances in order over the years I cannot imagine that you are the type to obliterate your lifetime savings on a few great holidays this year and then the entirety of your pension income every year for the next 30/40/50 years?!

What I am trying to say is surely you don't need all of your retirement money this year, next year, or even in the next 5 - 10 years? Couldn't you lend your children a deposit, as many others have suggested above, or let them live at a reduced rent in one of the BTLs to give them a chance to catch up with their savings?

My own parents have accumulated a nice nest egg and portfolio for their retirement and were able to lend me our house deposit, and we have agreed a payment plan with them and will pay them back £2000 a month. That is not a stealth boast - I am just trying to point out that even high earners are struggling to save up fast enough for a deposit because of how prices are rising in outer London (and I'm not even talking about nice bits of London, believe me).

It's my parents' money and (personally) I think it's right that we pay them back every penny (particularly because we're in good jobs and can jolly well afford to). But as they don't need instant access to their entire life savings within the next 3 years they very kindly agreed to help us out.

Tbh, I feel a bit sorry for people whose parents won't lend them a deposit if a) the children need help with said deposit and b) parents can afford to lend the money without sacrificing their own lifestyle. But that is obviously a divisive opinion.

I think it depends on the property and also whast the child is doing, same with university. I wuold not fund a degree at an ex poly for a child to learn flower arranging. I would fund a law degree at Bristol or medicine at King's etc. I am not going to bust a gut to ensure a child buys somewhere better than the outer London hovels we had to tolerate etc etc They can work their way up whilst not having holidays as we did.

The 1970s were, for some people, very difficult. So were the 1960s and also the 1950s. The 1940s weren't too good either, I think. So, every generation has its own socio economic difficulties to contend with. The current young generation is no different, except that as well as having huge university fees to repay, rental costs are outstripping income. I don't believe that the baby boomers have spawned a generation of selfish, entitled, spoilt brats. My experience is that the younger generation have a bloody hard row to hoe. I am a baby boomer. I was given nothing by my parents because they had nothing to give. I have worked hard all my working life, but no harder than those before me or those that will follow me. Neither do I agree that my generation is responsible for the pension fuck up that will, inevitably be passed down to other generationsites. As previous poster said, we all just go to work, pay our dues try to do the right thing for our kids. But this constant banging on about how hard it was in the 1970s is ridiculous. I think that those who lived through 1930 - 1950s might beg to differ.

Given OPs level of engagement on the thread I really don't think she is that bothered by the issue at all.....

Given that, of all the incredibly damaging consequences of very high housing costs, the destruction of social mobility is probably the worst, the op would surely be doing a very noble thing by refusing to help her own children and instead spreading her buy-to-let income through the wider economy.

Totally fishy-looking post though in any case.

Spreading money through the wider economy - very noble of her!!
If she doesn't want to support her own children, she will have a vast amount of spare money to give to good causes, won't she?