to have told off colleague for using disabled toilet

[loopsylala]

I have a disability and often can't get into the toilet at work as its being used by people changing clothes etc.

I mentioned it to hr who put a sign up but that's been removed.

Just caught someone using it. I asked if he was disabled, he said no but that the other toilets are sometimes full. I said that didn't matter, as he shouldn't be using the disabled toilet.

I'm worried now I will get into trouble. I've complained about this so many times and don't want to be seen as a trouble maker or that it's "my" toilet.

I hate confrontation and want to get on with my colleagues.

Could I have handled it better?

I probably cant count then:

"Each floor except the ground has men's, ladies, one disabled and a changing room.

There are two cubicles in the men's and in the ladies.
"
Mens with 2 cubicles, ladies with 1 cubicle, so 3 toilets plus a disabled toilet that only a handful of the 62 people can use? I am not counting the changing room as OP does not say the changing rooms have toilets.

Disabled toilets are priority for disabled people. Does not mean it is only for disabled people.
Wrong.

lurking dos the op clarify how the sign was put up? I envisaged paper and blu tac. It's still a crappy thing to do but I doubt that classed as criminal damage.

I just think the problem is that there are not enough toilets.

It boils my own piss that there are only two toilets in the ladies changing facilities in my local gym, and they are invariably taken up by teenage girls applying make up. But I cant challenge them and say "hey missy, did you do a number one or a number two, or did you powder your nose?"

YANBU about needing to be disabled in order to use disabled toilets but you were being very U in asking. I have a disability, physical, but you can't see it unless you watch me walk intently. I know others with bowel problems who also need to use the disabled toilet but you can't see that and you shouldn't ask! I get constantly questioned whenever I park in disabled parking spaces however the people asking can't see the difficulties I face in order to need those spaces.

veritat yes I'd rather people didn't use it if they didn't have to. But I'm shy and don't flaunt my diarreah around so work colleagues have no idea.

OP seems to think she's judge and jury when my point is she shouldn't be challenging people or quizzing them because she DOESNT KNOW!

I'd rather say I was using the disabled loo to get changed in then say about my colitis. I don't want to be quizzed about it! I've had to poo in a bag in the car, I've had to go in my pants in the street, I used to have to poo in a bin liner in my room and sneak it out of the shared house at uni when there was only one bathroom for 5 of us and 4 other girls were showering in the morning!

If I am LUCKY enough to be near a disabled loo when an attack happens I want to use it without being reported or made to explain etc

So my point is yes people shouldn't use it if not needed but I'd never ask someone what their criteria is for using it and I hope nobody ever confronts me!

What happens if you have to wait because another disabled person is in there?

Surely it's the same?

i'd be annoyed if he used it just because, but the others were full and the disabled was free.

Really. Don't get it at all. I have a bowel damage by the way (waiting for an op) so often need to rush into the nearest FREE toilet!

I can't for the life of me think what on earth goes on at a work place that significant numbers of people are so destructive or pissed off or self absorbed that they go as far as picking locks.

I'm wondering if the procedure for getting a key is just to humiliating or painful to go through with.

whether they really did just hire a bunch if arse holes

or whether someone's pissed them.off so much that they have no respect anymore or just don't give a shit about what they have been asked or anyone in the building.

do the cleaners actually clean the other loos or are they minging?

are they poorly maintained so half have no loo roll or soap?

are they really badly laid out so one person doing their make up somehow takes up to much room.and no one else can get in?

you expect one or two people to disregard the sign granted hut the fact that they all seem at it just doesn't make sense.

why on earth is going on there

He may not have been disabled but he may have a colostomy that needed enptying. For that he would need space and a washbasin to clean around the area, when emptying /changing the bag.

Most people with colostomies are too embarrassed to tell non family members about having one. They are also useful for women who have heavy periods and like to clean themselves before putting putting in a new tampon or attaching a new pad. So yes I do think you were being unreasonable.

lurking dos the op clarify how the sign was put up? I envisaged paper and blu tac. It's still a crappy thing to do but I doubt that classed as criminal damage.

to be fair, I imagined the screws bit (?).

However, criminal damage is actually rather wide-ranging (as it should be). As I said, previously "damage" required something which cost money to repair. However, when the courts discovered they couldn't charge people who disabled speed cameras with a bag over them (since it cost nothing to repair) the definition was modified to include damage which prevented something working as intended. In this case a sign.

It's the same reason why putting stickers on car windscreens is not a good idea (as the RAC/AA have advised) - it's also criminal damage.

Or that's my reading of the law. If there are any MN lawyers who want to correct me, I am always grateful to learn - no matter how publicly .

The toilet police are back!
If no disabled people need them at the time, and nobody is likely to have to rush in there in a hurry, WHO EVEN CARES?
I am (partially) disabled BTW.

How do you know when someone is likely to have to rush in there in a hurry then boffin?

Depends on how well you know your colleagues and usual length of waits, etc. You apply a bit of common sense.

Could you, or would you, ever use the standard toilets?

How do you know if a disabled person is gonna need it?

I think this is one of those things that is only an issue on MN. My mother had a radar key since the early 1980's, and always used disabled toilets everywhere (was sometimes in a wheelchair, sometimes not), and I've had to use them on and off. I also worked in facilities management and even as a toilet cleaner.....and its never ever come up in real life. I've never been challenged, my ma never was, there has never been a complaint in a building I worked in. I've never known anyone have a row about it.

In real life we all just the sodding toilet, wherever and whichever we need to. No fights, except on MN.

As far as I know it is not an offence to use the disabled toilet.

Ideally it's for wheel chair users who wouldnt fit into a normal cubicle or those with mobility issues who need the side bar to pull themselves up.

And even if you were in a wheelchair where is the issue with just waiting for the person to finish?

If you are desperate for a bowel movement why not go to the normal toilet?

The toilet isn't for the sole use of disabled folk.

I am so relaxed it's horizontal about other people using them.
Sometimes TWO DISABLED PEOPLE WANT TO USE THEM AT ONCE AND ONE HAS TO WAIT.
There's a thing.

Update

I am in my way home as I had a disability related accident and could not get into the toilet again. HR are going to deal with it and have confirmed the names I gave them are not on record as needing to use these toilets. They also said another disabled person complained about the same issue on their floor so I have some back up now.

The sign was a paper and blu tac sign

Only 4 people in the building have keys to the toilets. I am the only person in my floor and always lock the toilet after I leave.

The lick has been picked twice whilst I was inside

Yes I reported this to hr each time

Your workplace could get into trouble for the lists and keys thing. Forcing people to disclose intimate medical needs to access a toilet is discriminatory.

Then I guess they would have to see which one of them could use a standard toilet, and maybe go, only to be berated by the next person waiting saying "you should use the disabled loo, what are you doing in here pretending to not need the disabled loo"

Someone could pen a real farce around that scenario.

HR are going to deal with it and have confirmed the names I gave them are not on record as needing to use these toilets.

HR are giving out information about the disability status of your colleagues?! Surely that's not on.

I did wonder if they weren't supposed to tell me but they did

Now I'm seriously confused.
There's a possible 62 people sharing the toilets, 1 is disabled and wants 1 toilet to themselves whilst everyone else can share?

If I worked there I would be complaining to HR about the lack of toilets for everyone, not just wanting a key to my own personal loo.

What sort of lock is on the door that means many people are able to pick it, but still requires jets to get in?