to have told off colleague for using disabled toilet

[loopsylala]

I have a disability and often can't get into the toilet at work as its being used by people changing clothes etc.

I mentioned it to hr who put a sign up but that's been removed.

Just caught someone using it. I asked if he was disabled, he said no but that the other toilets are sometimes full. I said that didn't matter, as he shouldn't be using the disabled toilet.

I'm worried now I will get into trouble. I've complained about this so many times and don't want to be seen as a trouble maker or that it's "my" toilet.

I hate confrontation and want to get on with my colleagues.

Could I have handled it better?

I think it depends on how many other toilets there are. It shouldn't be used for changing in. You shouldn't be asking people if they have a disability. Keep pushing HR about people using it to change in.

It would be different if the toilet was taken up all the time by people who are just using it as their personal changing space (how many times are people doing that?!)

But you didn't have to wait for long. So in substance it didn't really inconvenience you

Nobody said people with crohns or ibs couldn't use the toilet
You are all fucking toilet mad! I have never know anything like it! :o

Op of course you are being unreasonable. This is mumsnet after all. Of course people can use the disabled loo as a changing room, how entitled do you think you are? :o

I think I've entered a parallel universe.

I could swear similar threads on MN- although usually AIBU to use the Disabled loo- end up with everyone saying you should never, ever, ever use a disabled toilet if you are physically able and NT.

The toilet has been used to change clothes, apply makeup, straighten hair and when the others are busy.

I have highlighted this to hr several times

A sign was put up which was very shortly after found in the bin

A lock was added and disabled staff given the key, non disabled staff puck the lock to get in.

So yes, I was ready to snap and did.

There was a thread recently started by a woman with IBS who'd been told off for using the disabled toilet, despite being unable to wait to go.

I can understand why you were annoyed. I think going through HR would have been better than asking the guy outright if he was disabled. He might not have given you an honest answer if he was embarrassed about having, for example, IBD (or even just a stomach bug).

Barbarian, you would not only use a disabled toilet - when you are not disabled - but you'd make a formal complaint of anyone challenged you on it?!! Christ, talk about self-entitled

Entitled to not shit yourself, well why shouldn't she be? You obviously don't know anything about it.
It's an accessible toilet. Its for people who need it. And they don't have to explain to colleagues why they might need it, or have their need vetted by committee.

You shouldn't have asked him. He had no obligation to tell you his medical history. I have IBS and sometimes need the toilet quickly, but I'm not disabled either.

If you suspect people without a disability are using it, ask management to issue a reminder. I take it this was a one-off occurance with this guy? Unless you're going to dripfeed that he does it all the time?

o/p, Maybe approach HR about the lack of changing facilities? They're obviously needed, and then other people are likely to support you..

Yabu and really out of order asking him if he's disabled! Who do you think you are?
Also 'telling him off', again who do you think you are??

You know yabu! Nothing else needs to be said!

Go back to HR and get the sign reinstated, email sent with company policy about use of a disabled loo.

As far as I am concerned able bodied can use a disabled loo, if necessary and the sign is to tell people that this loo is accessible to those with a disability. It isn't ring fenced, destined to remain empty for 99% of the time.

But if, as you said, it is the only loo you can access and is has been designated but now being abused, then go back to HR. Don't make yourself the unpopular Loo Monitor.

Horton I have a medical condition which sometimes requires the use of an accessible toilet and sink. Due to the fluctuating nature of autoimmune disease, it isn't classed as a disability (because sometimes I'm OK for months at a time). What do you suggest I do until they remove large sections of my bowel and stick a bag on me (at which point "hurrah" I will be perminently disabled)?

People pick the lock?! What sort of lock is it that requires a key to open but it easily pickable?

Quite shocked at the support for him. Oh to swap places with you all..

I must admit I did roll my eyes at yet another thread on this subject.

I think from the tons of other threads, the consensus is normally YANBU overall, so this has been a bit different.

YANBU about the changing issue.

I'm not disabled but I'm recovering from an operation and I am not very mobile. I would have no qualms about using a disabled loo at the moment. I would not like to be asked about my medical condition so I think it's awkward you confronted him. I'm not sure what else you could have done though.

i am with owlady

I don't understand the problem with having to wait a few minutes for someone to finish on the loo if you need to use the disabled toilet. It's only the same as anyone else. Yes you should have access to disabled loo's and no they shouldn't be used as changing rooms. But the sense of entitlement that you shouldn't have to wait if someone else is using it for its main purpose as a toilet annoys me.

I think you should be able to use it barbarian and I think an illness like that falls under the umbrella of disabled tbh

I'm not ill or disabled (thankfully) I view the disabled toilet a as there for people who are disabled in whatever way. I think most people outside of mn do.

There's a separate changing room and shower? It's completely out of order to be changing in a disabled toilet, especially when there's a separate dedicated changing area. Might be worth asking HR if there could be another changing area added?

Re. someone else using the disabled toilet as an actual toilet - assuming there's an adequate number of other toilets, then of course people who aren't disabled shouldn't use the disabled toilets. But I'm not sure about questioning him whether he's disabled - someone might have a hidden disability or incontinence problems that they're not comfortable sharing with colleagues.

OP if your disabilities are hidden have you experienced someone challenging you coming out of the disabled loo? Like the way you asked your colleague?

Surly you must know that's not ok. I know people misusing these toilets can be rife but you really should go to HR rather than confront people who may have just changed their colostomy bag.

Whether he is entitled to use it depends on the setup of your building.

Even if he was not entitled to use it, "telling someone off" is not a constructive way to approach this. How about talking to HR and suggesting that everyone is notified of the rules regarding this toilet?

I don't think you were being unreasonable. There probably was a better way to handle it, but I don't know what that is. I'm disabled as well, and I get so fucked off with people using it to change in, or do their make up because "the light is better" (yes, genuinely heard it), or bullshit like that. I completely understand some disabilities are hidden - I have some of those! - but there are people that take the piss, and "the other toilets were busy" is doing just that. Unless you have a conditions which causes you to have issues with your bladder or bowels, and are able bodied, there is no reason you can't wait.

Go back to HR, this needs to be stricter.

DH designs buildings, and as 'should disabled toilets be reserved for the sole use of disabled people' is a common thread on here, I've asked him about it
When designing offices, there is a minimum number of toilets they have to put in per X people working there. And a % of those have to be accessible. But what they don't do is allocate the required minimum, plus an extra accessible one. Space is at a huge premium, so it makes no sense to add in more than the minimum, unless they have some strange space to fill.
Showers and changing facilities are now required by a lot of local authorities as part of a green commitment, as the facilities encourage people to cycle or run to work. Again, they put in the minimum required by the local authority, which is based on the number of people working in the building, not the number of people cycling.

By demanding that one toilet us set aside for your exclusive use, the building may well be falling under the required number of toilets for the people in the overall building, which could land them in hot water with HSE etc.

Plus, YABU for telling off a grown adult for using a toilet

Keep on at HR... start by asking them how they are going to cope with you taking out a grievance against the company?

They MUST deal with this properly. You don't need to do it personally.

And your colleagues behaviour is weird. Selfish is usual, but taking down the sign and breaking in sounds as though someone has an axe to grind. If it is changing rooms, and your company has no problems with supplying space for extensive personal grooming facilities and time that too is for HR and the management to deal with.