to have told off colleague for using disabled toilet

[loopsylala]

I have a disability and often can't get into the toilet at work as its being used by people changing clothes etc.

I mentioned it to hr who put a sign up but that's been removed.

Just caught someone using it. I asked if he was disabled, he said no but that the other toilets are sometimes full. I said that didn't matter, as he shouldn't be using the disabled toilet.

I'm worried now I will get into trouble. I've complained about this so many times and don't want to be seen as a trouble maker or that it's "my" toilet.

I hate confrontation and want to get on with my colleagues.

Could I have handled it better?

Yes you shouldn't have asked him if he had a disability as he may well have BUT of course people shouldn't use disabled loos for changing etc. It's unfair to tie up the only disabled loo when he could use another loo/place to change but you could only use that loo.

As far as I am concerned able bodied can use a disabled loo, if necessary and the sign is to tell people that this loo is accessible to those with a disability. It isn't ring fenced, destined to remain empty for 99% of the time.

I disagree. The disabled will include people who, when they need the toilet, need it immediately otherwise they will soil themselves. Yes, it may be unavoidable that sometimes they can't access it because another disabled person is using it. But it is completely unacceptable that they should be prevented from accessing it because a non-disabled person wants to use it as a changing facility.

OP, I'd suggest you ask HR to get a sign screwed on to the door emphasising that it is for the use of disabled people only.

Kakifruit well done for fighting so hard for healthy people not to have to stand and wait for a couple of minutes to use a toilet go you.

The disabled will include people who, when they need the toilet, need it immediately otherwise they will soil themselves.

But that can apply to anybody. Disabled or not. Ibs doesn't mean you are disabled. It does mean you may need access to a toilet and can not wait.

YANBU, it's a dick move to use a disabled loo if you're not disabled.

They man may lie though as he may not want people to know he's got a disability.

Katenka a disabled loo is for anyone with a condition that means normal toilets are difficult, IBS falls under that

People with urgency issues, ibs or similar are disabled in the sense of toileting so if that is the only available toilet then yes of course they can use it.

Not wanting to wait or needing to get changed (in normal, non disability related circumstances) aren't disabilities and therefore you don't need to use the disabled toileT.

The amount of time it isn't used for is irrelevant and not an excuse to use it when there is no need.

In my experience, toilets such as the one OP mentions are in reality accessible for anyone who may need extra assistance. I've been in lots that have baby change facilities too when my DC were little. However the fact that the toilets have additional facilities doesn't mean that they shouldn't be used as a normal toilet if the need arises and there aren't any others available. I appreciate your frustration OP that you had need to use the toilet and had to wait for a moment because it was in use but other than that YABU.

Adapted toilets are generally more spacious seeyou which allows private changing. They have sinks, allowing you to clean up in private/change dressings/colostomy bags etc. These are features that are necessary for a whole range of disabilities and conditions. A friend of mine has very bad arthritis. She uses the accessible toilet because it is higher than normal, and because the taps are easier to use. She doesn't need the rails, or a hoist.

I have a hidden disability - as does my son and it wouldn't enter my head to ask someone coming out of a disabled loo if they were disabled or not :/ sorry.

I wouldn't ask it, as have been tutted at and given looks so many times when coming out of one - am a bit shocked that if your disability is hidden also you would think to question someone coming out of it.

I/we only use them when completely necessary as sometimes I am fine to cope.

Whilst I understand your frustration at people using it as a changing room I think YABU to question someone else on their use of it.

Oh, forgot. Accessible toilets are also useful for those whose children's disabilities (can often be neurological or otherwise hidden) require them to be accompanied to the toilet. Same for older adults who need a carer with them.

Katenka a disabled loo is for anyone with a condition that means normal toilets are difficult, IBS falls under that

I know that's my point.

I would use a disabled toilet if it was free and the other loos were busy. I'm not disabled.

And as someone on the first page said This again....

Yabu, you are not the toilet police and you're being very unreasonable to have questioned that man.
It's none of your business.

Katenka, IBS can and normally would mean you meet the criteria for disability - even if it's something that comes and goes; particularly in an organisation like an office where no-one is demanding certificates of disability. So it's difficult to understand what you are arguing about.

love the way people are ignoring the fact that the lock was picked

Yabu. It's not your toilet to guard and police.

I think you're being unreasonable. If all the other loos are in use and that one was free, why shouldn't he use it? It's not like he knew you wanted to use it and went in to spite you.

However the fact that the toilets have additional facilities doesn't mean that they shouldn't be used as a normal toilet if the need arises and there aren't any others available. I appreciate your frustration OP that you had need to use the toilet and had to wait for a moment because it was in use but other than that YABU.

Define "If the need arises". Yes, it's fine if someone urgently needs the toilet and there are absolutely none available. It isn't fine if the able person could perfectly well wait a couple of minutes, or go to a toilet on another floor, or just wants to change their clothes.

love the way people are ignoring the fact that the lock was picked

I asked the op how she knew the lock was being picked up thread but it must have got missed-no answer yet. It seems incredibly unlikely to me that lots of people are capable of picking locks that need keys to open. Isn't it more likely that the toilet isn't being locked after use?

love the way people are ignoring the fact that the lock was picked

A lot of people ignoring criminal damage here .

One additional aspect of disabled toilets, is there are unisex/gender-neutral. Which means a lot, if I had to accompany my wife (it is needed on occasion), I can.

If all the other loos are in use and that one was free, why shouldn't he use it?

Why do people keep saying this? Is it beyond the wit of man to work out that you shouldn't use disabled toilets if you don't need to, because there may well be disabled people who simply cannot wait in the way others normally can?

Exactly. It's hardly a building full of expert lock pickers, is it?

this thread is superb for spreadsheet updating

I hate it when disabled loos are locked. It means that you have to "prove" to some random person that you are entitled in some way to use it. And yes, I too have the ubiquitous ibs and no, I don't want to explain why I might need the disabled toilet.