to have told off colleague for using disabled toilet

[loopsylala]

I have a disability and often can't get into the toilet at work as its being used by people changing clothes etc.

I mentioned it to hr who put a sign up but that's been removed.

Just caught someone using it. I asked if he was disabled, he said no but that the other toilets are sometimes full. I said that didn't matter, as he shouldn't be using the disabled toilet.

I'm worried now I will get into trouble. I've complained about this so many times and don't want to be seen as a trouble maker or that it's "my" toilet.

I hate confrontation and want to get on with my colleagues.

Could I have handled it better?

you had no right to ask him if he was disabled. he has no obligation to tell you his medical history This.

My disability isn't that immediately visible. I have been asked many times by other users/toilet attendants if I'm disabled or had it very snootily pointed out that disabled toilets are for disabled use only. Some days I flash my disabled bus pass and say something like 'my disability is hidden, unlike your ignorance'. Some days, especially when the comment is arsey, I just feel like crying that I am expected to divulge my personal medical history to a stranger just so I can have a wee.

OP, that was extremely rude of you and as your disability is hidden, too, I would have thought you'd have been less intrusive. I don't mind if there's a queue for an accessible toilet when I need one, and it makes no odds whether the person occupying it is disabled or not. Having wonky legs doesn't mean I get piss priority, it just means I need the extra room an accessible toilet provides. I do think YABU, sorry.

Well this thread has gone a bit weird

The OP shouldn't have asked the man if he was disabled or told him off. That's what she was asking us.

Nobody should be using the accessible toilet just for changing their clothes or doing their hair - OP has told us there's a changing room.

Anybody can use an accessible toilet for its purpose as a toilet, but if there are other (less accessible) toilets available and you are able to use those, then you should do so.

Anybody might have to wait sometimes to use a toilet. Nobody has a monopoly on urgency issues.

Nobody should challenge anybody about their toileting needs. What kind of person would do that? Embarrassing....

It affected me when my DD couldnt get in because of able bodied people using them and she screamed and lay on the floor until they came out though. Sounds like it affects the OP too.

You assumed that those people were able bodied, you have no idea what condition they have.

Adele

It's okay that someone may end up wetting/pooing themselves or covered in blood because they are not allowed to use a certain loo because they appear healthy. Lovely, empathy is a two ways, is it really acceptable to have to clean yourself up in public because you are supposedly healthy. Yes accidents happen when you are not close to a toilet, i have had them, perimenopause has played havoc with my bowels,bladders and periods and had nasty experiences with all 3, but i would have thought most people would be understanding about it.

When i was pregnant they put in new toilets at work, which i think added extra toilets, but they were very narrow and I could get in but couldnt get out, it took me 15 minutes to squeeze the door round my bump. I had to use the accessesable toilet after that, or being 7 months pregnant with a baby bouncing on my bladder was i not allowed to go to the toilet all day?

They were changing a baby

samcro
`"If you need an accessible loo for mobility issues you're able to wait for it as anyone is able. No problem there. "

really? so what if your in a WC and have continence issues?
waiting for another disabled person....fine thats life.
but someone who is TAB and could use a "normal" toilet.
nah"

If you read my post you'll see I was referring to a situation where a disabled person has to wait for a loo on occasion because IE another disabled person is in it. There are times when we all need a loo RIGHT NOW. It doesn't always happen, whether you're disabled or not.

Yes people with hidden disabilities have babies but they weren't even using the actual toilet. Agreed it was toilet design issue but my whole bloody point was that my DD with a hidden disability suffered from not getting in to the toilet, in response to another post, so to quote out of context and twist it to say I deny hidden disabilities is obtuse to the point of ridiculousness.

My above post was to bruffin. My post about DD was I response to someone saying people with hidden disabilities can wait to use toilet. My DD cant. End of. Cease quoting me out of context, please.

Adele how much more often would a person with a disability have to wait to use a toilet if every able bodied person used disabled toilet, as opposed to the very occasional time they might have to wait because someone else with a disability is in there?

It's just about common sense and being decent and thinking of others needs.

Bruffin no idea what you're referring to either

Depends Fanjo how many hypochondriacs have decided their Current illness necessitates use of the disabled loo and how good they are at convincing people like you they need it

To be honest I think there are far less hypochondriacs than there are real people with invisible illnesses who suffer from an unfair lack of understanding.

If you read my post you'll see I was referring to a situation where a disabled person has to wait for a loo on occasion because IE another disabled person is in it. There are times when we all need a loo RIGHT NOW. It doesn't always happen, whether you're disabled or not.

This is absolutely true. But THIS THREAD is about a person with a disability having to wait to use the toilet because someone is using the disabled toilet room not for its intended purpose.

If toilets are at a premium, nobody should be using any of them to straighten hair (FFS, workplace!) or get changed.

Or, as my former employer suggested, expressing breastmilk

Yeah, because this thread has stayed on track

Yanbu op people at your work are taking the Piss they are using a toilet because its easier for them to change or they can't be bothered to wait its quicker to use a disabled toilet more private for them if a person needs to use a disabled toilet for medical condition fair enough but this guy told you outright the other toilet was busy poster s who are flaming you have no clue what it's like not to be able to use a regular toilet and spout rubbish about accessible AND entitlement does my head in

There is no point being silly. We've all had situations with diahorrea, sickness, massive period flooding, pelvic floor issues. These things are unfortunate but you can't use them as reasons to pretend you're temporarily disabled.

Am I misunderstanding Adele-you're saying you would rather someone have an attack of diarrhoea, vomit or bleed all over themselves rather than use an empty disabled loo?

MrsHathaway Actually this thread is about people using an accessible loo and, when the OP questions them on their eligibility, are saying they've been using it to get changed etc. As many people in this thread have pointed out, they would rather lie to the OP than reveal personal medical information. Especially since there's a changing room right next door to this toilet, do you not think it's more likely that in an office with 62 people, more than 1 person has a need for an accessible toilet?

I hypochondriac - has nothing wrong with them so i doubt Adele wasvreffing to someone who has an urgent need.

So mant focussing on all those folk who are just about to puke or have diarrhoea when the issue is just all those like the posters on this thread who see no problem with everyone using the loo as it's there for eveyone.

No purple daisies i'm referring to people indicting that it's perfectly reasonable for a disabled person to expect exclusive use of the loo in case they need it very quickly. Which is a non point, as it could happen to anyone.

It isn't a non-point, Adele, because a higher proportion of disabled people will have problems with bowel or bladder control. Therefore if you use an accessible toilet when you don't need it you stand a higher chance of causing real problems for a disabled person.

So the non disabled person leaves the disabled loo empty and shits themselves just in case a disabled person comes along at the same time then? Give over

I think you should take it up with your employers.It is their toilet and up to them to decide who else can use it, not you.

Im amazed that you are considered unreasonable.

If I came on here and suggested I may have had push my baby into a disabled loo because you can't get a buggy into the ladies I would be flamed for it and told I should leave my baby outside then.

Yet this guy can use this toilet because its only for a handful of staff and he can't wait 5 mins.

I feel like there is a consensus really.

1. People can have disabilities such that they can't use most toilets and need to use the special facilities. These disabilities may not be obvious to an observer, and in any case are nobody else's business.

1. People who need to use the special facilities should be able to do so.

1. People who do not need to use the special facilities should refrain from doing so.

1. Many employers do the bare minimum required by law. This includes facilities provision.

1. Some people are thoughtless arseholes.

1. It's hard to tell if a particular person is being a thoughtless arsehole, or keeping his/her private business to him-/herself.

1. You should complain to management/facilities/HR rather than shouting at a particular person, because 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6.

So the non disabled person leaves the disabled loo empty and shits themselves just in case a disabled person comes along at the same time then? Give over

Do try reading posts properly, Adele, I specifically referred to non-disabled people using accessible toilets when they don't need to. Self-evidently a non-disabled person with the runs who can't get into the other toilets is a person who needs to use the accessible toilet.

Then you're not responding to any of my posts so not sure why you've asked the question of me above