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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so tired of breastfeeding

46 replies

mia101982 · 03/02/2016 22:09

I have a 5 month old beautiful baby. Since she turned 3.5 months she has been waking every 2 hours from 11pm for feeds. I am exhausted as I have other young kids so can't nap etc. I decided about a month ago to introduce a bottle so dh could help at night but we have had no luck. She will just not take a bottle and have tried everything; EBM, formula, different teats etc etc. The only thing I haven't tried is leaving her get hungry so she may have no choice but to take it. I hate seeing her distressed and she gets so distressed when even out of my arms for a while so I know she would be bad. I have left the house for almost 3 hours while she was with dh but she just slept and waited until I got home to be fed. Has anyone actually gone Cold turkey and stayed away for a good few hours? Did baby take bottle? I fear the poor little mite will be emotionally scarred if I did that but I just have enough. I need a break. I cant keep going with 1 hour of broken sleep cycles every night. Help!

OP posts:

pookamoo · 03/02/2016 22:14

Firstly, YANBU. It can be tiring, sooooooo tiring.

But. Have a look at "Wonderweeks" online and see the developmental leaps they make. It really won't be forever. "This too shall pass"

If you go cold turkey, the risk is more to you and your sore boobs. Baby will probably just wait for you to come back!

AnotherNc · 03/02/2016 22:17

Have you tried feeding from a sippy-cup? My DS is similar age, won't always take a bottle but likes to hold a cup and feed himself sometimes (needs a bit of help to steady cup). He will also take milk or water from a spoon.

3hours isn't that long between feeds for a 5-month-old, is she comfort-sucking rather than hungry?
My DS is unpredictable with spacing feeds- he will often go 5hours between feeds then cluster-feeds, wanting milk every hour! Nights are the same, some nights he wakes every 2-3hours other nights he will go 6-7hours before waking for feed.

pookamoo · 03/02/2016 22:20

Oh yes! As anothernc says, a sippy cup may be more popular?

boatrace30 · 03/02/2016 22:25

Might not help but my DD was similar between 3.5 and 6months in terms of frequency of feeds but she is 8months now and sooo much easier. Weaning has really helped and she now hardly feeds at all - short feed on waking up, mid morning, mid afternoon, before bed and sometimes at about 3am but not always. Luckily though she has always taken a bottle so I've been able to express. So its not been so tough for me.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 03/02/2016 22:30

Cup feed.

And be kind to yourself

Original poster

mia101982 · 03/02/2016 22:40

Yeh i have a sippy cup but she won't even let that in her mouth. With the bottle she at least leaves it sit in her mouth and maybe half an ounce will dribble in. I just feel I will never get a few hours sleep again. I totally expect a baby to feed once r twice a night but this is constant. I do try to pat her back to sleep before offering a feed but she just cries. She does feed each time though. She goes between 2 - 3 hours in the day between feeds but never longer. She is a big buster which I love to see in a baby so I know I have done great. I just need sleep and a bit more of a routine I feel which I know I would probably get if on bottles. Hopefully solids in a few weeks will start to make a difference.

OP posts:

MintyBojingles · 03/02/2016 22:43

YANBU, DD went through a similar phase at that age. Snapped out of it at 6 months and has been a delight to BF since. Hopefully it will pass soon!

coconutpie · 03/02/2016 22:43

Growth spurts and developmental leaps etc mean babies wake more. You just gotta go with the flow, I'm afraid. This hardship will pass soon but in the meantime, ignore everything else and sleep when the baby sleeps. Have you tried co-sleeping? It might help.

stitch10yearson · 03/02/2016 22:48

If she is 5 months, and its upsetting you this much, why havent you started her on solids? I know the advice is six months, but its changed so much over the last years, (since I had my babies) that I no longer trust it. Its better to have a less stressed mummy than only breastmilk.
AT 6.5 months, I limited my dd to feeds every 4 hours with breakfast lunch and dinner offered when I fed my other kids. Within 4 days, both of us were a lot less stressed as she was no longer feeding 20 times a day. try that?

CalleighDoodle · 03/02/2016 22:50

My daughter was like this. Always refused milk in any form other than boob! My (greedy) son would have anything lol! If you need a Break get your husband to distract her for a bit maybe? In the night shennhe wakes, send husband in to shush pat her instead of you going in with your boobs.

During fhe day 3 hours sounds fine. I dont go that long without eating or drinking something.

Just remember your baby loves your milk, breastfeeding burns more calories than running, and your breasts have never looked this glorious!

WLmum · 03/02/2016 22:52

Mine were all about the boob and absolutely would not entertain the idea of bottles, cups etc. When I couldn't take anymore of the endless wake ups I donned a sports bra and refused to feed at the first wake up, lots of rocking and cuddling etc to get settled. Then after a couple of days same with first and second wake ups. Hard but did extend the periods of sleep and then only 1 or 2 night feeds. My babies were good weights and had unlimited boob during the day so my feeling was that it was comfort and habit rather than hunger (dd1 was a rubbish bfer and cried/tried to feed lots with no weight gain - when offered a bottle she wolfed it). Nice as that was for them, it was killing me which would not be so nice for them!
Good luck with whatever/however you choose to do.

CalleighDoodle · 03/02/2016 22:53

I tried my ds with a dummy when he was very little. He sucked it a couple of times, spat it out and screamed in a way that was very clearly him saying where the fuck is the milk?! First and last time he had a dummy.

HodgePodge23 · 03/02/2016 22:54

Have you tried bedsharing? It's got an unfair bad rep and can be done safely. It's been the one thing that's helped with me. It means that I don't ever fully have to wake up when my son is hungry, just roll over, pop your breast in and both go back to sleep. Perfection. I could give you more info on bedsharing safely if you wanted?

stargirl1701 · 03/02/2016 22:56

My DD2 was resistant to sippy cups until I tried a NUK one with a latex teat rather than hard plastic.

Original poster

mia101982 · 03/02/2016 23:00

I prefer to wait until 6 months for weaning due to allergies and eczema in the family, but will probably start in the next week or two. I am living in hope and with great patience for this phase to pass but it just isn't passing. I really hope it does once she goes on solids as I would continue to breastfed then happily. So do you think I should give up in trying to get her to take a bottle? And also not to leave her get so hungry that she has to take a bottle? Sounds cruel even thinking that doesn't it.

OP posts:

stitch10yearson · 03/02/2016 23:03

My babies wouldnt take a bottle till they were 8 months old, so from my experience, I would advise against spending your energy on the bottle.
This too shall pass, and soon, long before you know it, she will be demanding an iphone

stitch10yearson · 03/02/2016 23:03

Original poster

mia101982 · 03/02/2016 23:07

I have tried dummies but won't take it..I do kind of co sleep for half of the night. When she wakes around 5am, I put her in beside me and she usually doses off without a feed. I don't even offer a feed now at that time because I am sure it's just for comfort..I don't sleep well wit her beside me though. She always seems to roll over onto her tummy from her original side position. I can't feed on my side, don't know why but more milk ends up on sheet than in her mouth. Thanks for all the replies and advice

OP posts:

HodgePodge23 · 03/02/2016 23:30

I remember when I started feeding on my side. I looked down and milk was dripping out of his nose ha. With time and practice he's gotten better at it. Mind you he's feeding throughout the night at 14 months so we had to find a way to make things work. I'd be a zombie otherwise.

justonemorethread · 04/02/2016 05:24

If you can try to get a third person who is confident with baby. My mil ended up cracking it with dc2, but she is a very stubborn lady!!
There was not much point trying the bottle in the evenings, as DD was cranky and tired. So we tried with an afternoon feed when she was quite hungry but also a bit rested from a recent nap.
Once she was used to bottle we switched it to night.

I'm making it sound easy but it felt very stressful at the time! I was lucky and being able to mix feed allowed me to carry on bfeedfing for longer.

But had I not had mil staying with me for 4 weeks I would have just gone cold turkey, like I did with dd1!

Whatever you do, be kind to yourself!

IJustLostTheGame · 04/02/2016 07:59

Yanbu.
But it will get better.
Dd would never take a bottle, I'd only have to get the damned thing out of the steriliser and she would go rigid at the sight of it and start screaming.
I won't tell you when she did start to sleep through as you'll hurl yourself down the stairs in despair. But she did.
My friend had an emergency rush to hospital and it took her poor DH 24 hours to get the baby to take a bottle. Everyone went round to help and by the end of it baby was dehydrated, famished and very very upset.
Some babies just like boob.

chumbler · 04/02/2016 09:20

My DD went through a similar phase. Then started sleeping soooo much more. It will pass. In the meantime have you tried co sleeping? Or read Sarah ockwell smith gentle sleep book - helped me. Also can can anyone take baby in the day just for an hour or two got you to rest? Hope you get some rest soon.

Original poster

mia101982 · 04/02/2016 09:33

How long did it take your dd to finally accept it? I an at it well over a month now. Had such a night of it last night. Tried settling without boob but would only get about 15 mins & she would b awake again.

OP posts:

Original poster

mia101982 · 04/02/2016 09:38

Girls I really have tried & I have told my self week after week it will pass but it's not passing. I breastfed my other kids but never had this problem as I introduced EBM from 3 weeks in a bottle at night. I never ever thought it would be this hard & really don't want to start resenting it all . Baby asleep now so dashing to the couch even though I would eat the leg off the table as so hungry from marathon night session

OP posts:

CornishDoll82 · 04/02/2016 09:45

stitch10yearson introducing solids can increase night feeds for a while. Reason being that the amount of food they eat is small and less calorific than breast milk so they don't actually consume as many calories in the daytime. My 7 month old was weaned at 6 months and still eats tiny amounts.

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