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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher quit and walked out

368 replies

Moonlitarsehole · 03/02/2016 16:23

Nc'd to not out myself.

Ds informs me on the way home that his teacher walked out on his last class this afternoon.

Apparently she'd asked on numerous occasions for quiet, and threatened to not help with their coursework. Then said "fuck you lot, I quit", collected her bag and walked out.

I was like Shock ds was vague and said he didn't want me to call the school, as they'd all had to make witness statements.

Anyway, dh is home today and asked ds if he'd been talking too (after I tell him what had happened) and really told ds off for being so disrespectful.

Ds is upstairs writing a letter of apology, not sure what the school's take is on it. Not even sure if she'll get it.

So aibu to think the teacher just lost their shit, which happens to us all?

OP posts:
1944dadhelp · 03/02/2016 19:51

Mazzle, I'm NQT plus 1 (thinking of leaving the profession but that's another story). How do you prevent the little acts of defiance you've described? They ruin my day and today I almost did what OP has posted!

PennyPebbles · 03/02/2016 19:51

It is lack of SLT support that leads some children to think they can behave poorly with little consequence. Our SLT are terrified of upsetting parents so fixed term or permanent exclusions just don't happen.

Two examples just from this week: Year 11 boy punches another in the face in the dining hall. Punishment - one break and one lunch detention. Another Year 11 boy has 2 bags of cannabis on him in school. Punishment - one after school detention.

You can be as firm and consistent as you like in the classroom, but if no-one has your back when things escalate beyond what you can deal with in a lesson, the kids soon realise and stop giving a shit about your expectations.

WRT the male/female thing, we are definitely seeing more and more boys who respect male teachers but treat women poorly at my school. Cultural here I'm afraid.

MazzleDazzle · 03/02/2016 19:52

Xpost with MrsDeVere. I second that!

IME teenage boys are never that bad. In fact, even the worst ones respond well to a bit if attention and are usually lovely. The 'thuggish' boys are often the loveliest of all.

Some of the toughest classes I've taught have been made pupils that, individually, are very well behaved (hence the reason their parents think they couldn't possibly be disruptive), but in a group of 30 are a nightmare.

justmyview · 03/02/2016 19:52

My DH is a teacher and loves his job. I have the impression (1) he sets out very clear guidance as to what is (not) acceptable and (2) he is perceived in school as VERY strict, and being supportive, encouraging and fair to pupils who work hard.

Within his school / local authority, he has been identified as having good classroom discipline and has been encouraged to share his techniques with other school

This thread is full of comments about how teachers have a terrible time. I guess I just wanted to say that's not always the case

Whilst I have some sympathy for the teacher being discussed on this thread & fair play to OP's husband for getting their DS to write an apology, I don't condone teachers swearing at their pupils

Themodernuriahheep · 03/02/2016 19:53

Op, well done to you and your OH.

And it will be interesting to get the sequel, please, tomorrow...

Completely with you.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 03/02/2016 19:57

I feel very sorry for the teacher. In fact I thought you might be describing one of my best friends as she is headed for total breakdown due to the stress of teaching. Definitely a combination of no management support and unruly kids. She only qualified two years ago and is already starting to regret her decision to become a teacher Sad shit pay for not much thanks either!

Good for your DH OP.

Dreamonastar · 03/02/2016 20:00

Lazy, I didn't. Read the thread - someone else explicitly stated that their partner or some relative was a man which was why he was a good teacher, or words to that effect, and you enacted as if it was you!

MazzleDazzle · 03/02/2016 20:01

1944, I've found that once you've established yourself in the school and they get to know and respect you, it's a lot easier. Also, confidence and a sense of humour are essential, but they come with time. Sadly, I think there's a baptism of fire that every teacher has to go through before it gets better.

If I were to start at a new school tomorrow, I'd be back to the start again!

LazyDaysAndTuesdays · 03/02/2016 20:03

Lazy, I didn't. Read the thread - someone else explicitly stated that their partner or some relative was a man which was why he was a good teacher, or words to that effect, and you enacted as if it was you!

I apologise if I misunderstood. Your comment was right under mine.

EponasWildDaughter · 03/02/2016 20:03

One of my full time teachers had a bit of a break down when i was in secondary in the late 80s. Suddenly during one lunch hour she appeared raving around the whole school building screaming at each and every pupil she came across to ''fuck off and get out'' at the top of her lungs. Arms flailing, face scarlet. Literally chased us out of the building. We never saw her again.

Even as a stroppy angst ridden 14 year old i felt badly for her :( I often wonder what happened.

Dreamonastar · 03/02/2016 20:04

Fair enough Lazy - just a misunderstanding then :)

bbpp · 03/02/2016 20:05

I've had a teacher walk out in lesson.

It was Set 1 English, so a well behaved class. Polite, do their work, etc. There was one boy who was going through a bit of an emo phase, and was being argumentative with the teacher all lesson. I think she called on him for a question and he stood up, cornered her and started shouting. Pretty sure he threw some insults and swears.

She just walked out crying. She was very heavily pregnant so I think they let her take maternity leave early and she came back a year later, but I'm not certain. The boy ended up moving schools to live with his dad because he lost all his friends and nobody wanted to be associated with him anymore.

Hopefully she doesn't lose her job, although I think swearing was probably uncalled for. I think it's good your son is writing an apology.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 20:07

I was a respected teacher and I had the 'look', but even I used to get horribly ground down by the endless noise and chatter and fuss and swearing and laziness and being taken for granted when I was only trying to do a good job by the kids.

Sometimes I only managed to do 10 minutes real teaching in a whole lesson because the rest of it was spent demanding attention and waiting for quiet via body presence and the 'look'. Undoing the poor concentration and attention habits their homes and TVs had engrained in them.

Honestly, it's exhausting.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 20:08

I would teach in a prison over a school any day, seriously.

witsender · 03/02/2016 20:15

Urgh, I am pretty assertive in the classroom...but I have felt like doing this before. Hence not teaching any more! Likewise DH. Sometimes, it genuinely isn't about the skills of the practitioner and all about the kids, and the day.

When I was at school we lost a teacher to a mental breakdown...he quite literally walked out after a day of behaving very oddly and that was that. We were relatively naice children in a very naice public school as well tbh, but even we could be a nightmare.

Nepotism · 03/02/2016 20:17

Totally agree with the posts supporting the teacher, but whose are these kids? Is it such common behaviour now that a school wouldn't bother contacting parents? Genuine question - my DDs have left school now but always said that their schools only told parents if they thought they gave a damn, meaning certain kids always got away with it.

MrsDeVere · 03/02/2016 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babyroobs · 03/02/2016 20:20

My year 10 ds's maths teacher rang me close to tears saying a group of boys in her class ( including my son )were messing about and she couldn't cope with them. I felt really bad for her as she sounded at the end of her tether. Needless to say my ds got a good talking too and thiings seem to have settled down now.

cressetmama · 03/02/2016 20:21

I am completely enamoured of the OP who made her DC apologise, and in sympathy with lots of what MrsJorah says about discipline and class management. I would add that in my experience it was never the MC kids who were really a nightmare. Usually it was the over-indulged little scrtes from the council estate who had never been taught to behave. Yes MC parents are retreating from sink schools, unless they really can't escape. Teachers are put upon from every which way, and telling the teachers they aren't good enough just makes things worse. Teachers in inner city schools endure conditions that would have Category A prison officers in tears, and can do bgger all about it.

witsender · 03/02/2016 20:24

Wow Cressetmama, just wow.

fastdaytears · 03/02/2016 20:25

Huh? Can that be summarised as "blame the poor kids" or have I missed some irony?

BossWitch · 03/02/2016 20:25

I very nearly did this today. I didn't because I was still - just - aware enough that I need to pay bills and I can't afford to not be in work.

I'm glad your ds feels some guilt / responsibility. Sadly, I would put good money on a fair few of the lads in that class feeling exceptionally proud of themselves for 'breaking' a teacher.

PennyPebbles · 03/02/2016 20:26

"Usually it was the over-indulged little scrtes from the council estate who had never been taught to behave."*

Not in my experience, but then I'm one of the scrotes from the council estate myself.

LooseAtTheSeams · 03/02/2016 20:26

Op just wanted to say I am really I am really impressed with your DH and also with your DS because he wrote the letter and clearly feels bad. I hope the teacher is OK and I hope it's understood that they had been under a lot of pressure. Having said that, swearing isn't right and they should apologise for that but I would love for the school to get every boy in that class to write a letter of apology!
I suspect most of them already feel really bad about it.

Leslieknope45 · 03/02/2016 20:31

I walked into the corridor today to say 'fuck you all you little dicks' to myself before returning to the room.

Thanks for the teaching hints from people on the thread. I have 'the look' too. But until you teach where I do, you really have no idea.