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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher quit and walked out

368 replies

Moonlitarsehole · 03/02/2016 16:23

Nc'd to not out myself.

Ds informs me on the way home that his teacher walked out on his last class this afternoon.

Apparently she'd asked on numerous occasions for quiet, and threatened to not help with their coursework. Then said "fuck you lot, I quit", collected her bag and walked out.

I was like Shock ds was vague and said he didn't want me to call the school, as they'd all had to make witness statements.

Anyway, dh is home today and asked ds if he'd been talking too (after I tell him what had happened) and really told ds off for being so disrespectful.

Ds is upstairs writing a letter of apology, not sure what the school's take is on it. Not even sure if she'll get it.

So aibu to think the teacher just lost their shit, which happens to us all?

OP posts:
AlwaysHopeful1 · 03/02/2016 16:50

Poor teacher, it must have been the final straw. Some kids today are just horrid.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/02/2016 16:53

Mind you my DD1 once had a teacher do similar. According to DD1 she regularly broke down in tears and sobbed that they were vile children. I used to volunteer at the school and they weren't that bad, maybe two or three little boys who needed a firm hand. They were Y2 by the way.

DS1's girlfriend is considering teaching when she graduates. She is a very gentle girl who has only ever attended selective girls schools. I think she will have the shock of her life and have suggested she gets some work experience in a rough mixed comp before she commits to anything.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/02/2016 16:56

The sad fact is that whilst the kids might have been little fuckers, the teacher probably snapped due to lack of support and pressure from management. i had a taste of teaching and i can tell you that it is soooo stressful, apparently i was quite good at it (college) but never, ever again.

fusionconfusion · 03/02/2016 16:57

My penultimate year of primary school in Ireland (5th class) had our teacher regularly breaking down in tears, running out. There was a class bully who would try to set your ponytail on fire, or torture you under the desk with a compass. There were even physical altercations between teachers and staff.]

All girls' convent school, small rural town. I still can't believe what went on in there!

OurBlanche · 03/02/2016 16:57

Well, chances are she has blown her career. There aren't many places that could/would keep you after that.

I know I used to want to say it, often bit my tongue, occasionally said something close to it.

Can I ask yo to thank your DH for his amazing response? Not many parents would do that. Most of them tend to join in with the blaming and cat calls.

I am so very glad I no longer teach! Can you tell? Smile

Original poster
Moonlitarsehole · 03/02/2016 17:00

Right, ds just explained what happened.

Talking amongst the whole class when asked not to, then when the teacher threatened to not help with their coursework, one pupil replied "sweet".

Ds said he thought she'd had a bad day from the start of the lesson as she wasn't herself. Which I told him makes it even worse then.

OP posts:
caitlinohara · 03/02/2016 17:00

Well that's the end of her career. I wonder whether she will be sorry later that she didn't handle it differently?

I don't expect teachers to be superhuman, even though many appear to be at times. I think it's fair to expect them not to tell the class to fuck off though. Hmm

TubbyTabby · 03/02/2016 17:03

i doubt that poor teacher cares that its the end of her career.
there are other jobs that will pay better where she won't get dog's abuse.

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 03/02/2016 17:05

Good on your DH for giving your son a bollocking, if only there were more parents like him
Indeed - your DS is very lucky. Sadly there are many parents who are even worse than the pupils . Sad

blueemerald · 03/02/2016 17:05

I teach in a school for boys with social, emotional and mental health difficulties. They behave outrageously sometimes (I was called a four-eyed cunt by a Y11 before 9:30 who was then my best mate during volleyball at 1:30. I've been punched, kicked, had my glasses broken, had my phone smashed etc). I must admit I have had to go and stand outside my classroom door for a minute a few times and once I may have slammed the door.

Whilst I don't condone hysterics I don't think it does any favours to let students think their words or actions never have an effect on people.

LittleBeautyBelle · 03/02/2016 17:05

My ds's class happens to be a lot larger than the classes in the other grades, double in fact, and so each teacher who has to deal with how many there are has been hard on them (the teacher). I've witnessed this. Their third grade teacher really had a hard time and was upset with the group of boys, my ds included, who were too boisterous and didn't listen or keep quiet enough for her to control the class. She ended up quitting after teaching one more year. I hope it wasn't due to the stress of that large class. The 2nd grade teacher also ended up quitting, she moved away. They were both new to teaching and to be hit with that many students with no additional help I think overwhelmed them. So I feel for this teacher. As parents, we often find it hard to handle our own children, think of the teacher who has to do a whole room full. My ds has a problem with talking when he's not supposed to and not focusing at times. Other than that he is well behaved. But get a group of children like that and it can drive a teacher nuts and for good reason. I think the letter is a great idea.

kaitlinktm · 03/02/2016 17:08

Was it a controlled assessment? Teachers aren't supposed to help with those anyway.

IoraRua · 03/02/2016 17:10

It's probably a cumulative thing for the teacher from pressures of working with that class/school, moonlit. That would be my guess anyway.

Dumbledoresgirl · 03/02/2016 17:10

I only ever taught primary and was pretty hot on discipline but even I had moments when the temptation to do what this teacher did crossed my mind. Especially when I did a short stint as a supply teacher. Anyone judging this woman I would challenge to spend one day in a class with unruly teenagers and not feel the same way.

Good on you for making your child apologise, though it won't have any effect on the outcome, it may, just may, give this poor woman who is clearly at breaking point a small glimmer of light. I would be furious if my children ever showed disrespect to a teacher but unfortunately it is all too easy to do when the whole class is being allowed to run riot unchecked.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 03/02/2016 17:11

You handled it with your ds very well. Some would have been practising sad faces for the Daily Mail.

I'd not be a teacher for any money. I recently read that 4 in 10 have been physically assaulted in the last year alone.

Zazedonia · 03/02/2016 17:13

If you don't live in London or the South East, teaching is well paid. It pays a lot better than most other jobs where we live. And has very long holidays (ok, not technically holidays...)
Having said that, teaching teenagers and dealing with all that admin makes the job a tough one. Maybe she'll change her mind after a few days.

MrsJorahMormont · 03/02/2016 17:14

I don't see why it should be the end of her career necessarily, unless she really wants to leave. It would be much more valuable for the class to be made to sit down, with the teacher and a scary teacher, for the teacher to apologise to them for her inappropriate language but for them to understand that she is only human and their behaviour was equally unacceptable. I imagine she has been stressing out about their coursework and that she cares a great deal more about it than they do because our school system is so fucked up that it's somehow the teacher's fault when 30 kids can't be arsed doing any work.

I don't think there are nearly enough consequences for disruptive students and there is far too much emphasis on the performance of the teacher rather than the students. Yes there were always 'weak' teachers who didn't have the personality for it but I honestly don't think a lot of parents realise how bad the behaviour is in some schools or what an appalling arse their precious child can be when in a pack situation with their friends.

And of course the clever, campaigning middle class parents who could kick up a stink to successive LEA's / governments just quietly take their kids out and send them to private schools, leaving the other kids to fend for themselves. But that's another thread.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 03/02/2016 17:14

Good for her. I hope she goes on to have another career with people who actually know how to behave towards others.

The Y10 children who caused this should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. They need to be treated very harshly by the school.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/02/2016 17:15

This happened a couple of times when I was at school.

No idea whether the teachers in questioned continued teaching elsewhere.

It has to be said the French Welsh language teacher was perhaps best not best suited to teaching the subject she was.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 03/02/2016 17:15

I dont blame her for snapping. I feel like telling someone to fuck off almost on a daily basis when I'm at work.

GreatFuckability · 03/02/2016 17:16

i remember a teacher at my secondary school slapping a boy across his face and walking out never to be seen again. when i was 13 it never occurred to me to think what she must have been feeling like. good for you telling your boy exactly how awful she must have felt.

Hillingdon · 03/02/2016 17:16

Coming from a family of teachers (not me!) when oh when are we going to get discipline back. Zero tolerance if you mess around at school. You spoil it for everyone else. Tbh if some kids were messing around with my children's education I would want them removed NOW! Not given endless 2nd chances. No wonder teachers are leaving in droves (although working in other roles is no less easy!).

arethereanyleftatall · 03/02/2016 17:17

I'm a teacher (well sort of - swimming teacher) and im loving the responses on this thread and the ops attitude.
Well done on the apology letter.

As a swimming teacher, all I want to do is teach swimming, and I know a lot about stroke technique. However, I have to spend so much bloody time disciplining some kids, is drives me insane tgat I don't get to actually teach.

I'm not surprised a teacher reacted like this.

HelpfulChap · 03/02/2016 17:17

I like the cut of your DHs jib. Too many people would be quick to try and ruin the teachers career rather than taking responsibility for their offspring.

I have the utmost respect for teachers, I'm no shrinking violet but I couldn't do that job.

Ain626 · 03/02/2016 17:18

I think that if the teacher doesn't want it to be the end of her career it doesn't have to be. If she gets appropriate support / help from her union they will be able to work out a plan for her? Possibly?

Teaching is hard work. It's stressful. It takes over your life. It can be a horrible horrible job. But other times it can be amazing. It really is a roller coaster ride of a career.

That said, I've had a little experience teaching science in a secondary school (before I did my PGCE). I'm now qualified as a primary teacher. I wouldn't want to teach in secondary.

I think that the OP's DH may have gotten a point across to their own son about the importance of being respectful. I'm hoping so anyway.