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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher quit and walked out

368 replies

Moonlitarsehole · 03/02/2016 16:23

Nc'd to not out myself.

Ds informs me on the way home that his teacher walked out on his last class this afternoon.

Apparently she'd asked on numerous occasions for quiet, and threatened to not help with their coursework. Then said "fuck you lot, I quit", collected her bag and walked out.

I was like Shock ds was vague and said he didn't want me to call the school, as they'd all had to make witness statements.

Anyway, dh is home today and asked ds if he'd been talking too (after I tell him what had happened) and really told ds off for being so disrespectful.

Ds is upstairs writing a letter of apology, not sure what the school's take is on it. Not even sure if she'll get it.

So aibu to think the teacher just lost their shit, which happens to us all?

OP posts:
hesterton · 03/02/2016 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Audreyhelp · 03/02/2016 22:04

That's good reading this thread they all seem so negative.

Lauren15 · 03/02/2016 22:05

Tbh I'm in two minds about this discussion. I support SEN pupils and I've seen all kinds of behaviour. I've been sworn at and hit and I've had sleepless nights over some pupils. I know how stressful bad behaviour can be. However I have two teenage boys and I am very concerned about the calibre of some of the teachers they have. Science is a particular problem. Ds is doing gcses. His biology book hasn't been marked all year. The teacher forgets to return class tests. She did nothing to help them prepare for their controlled assessment. The boys don't respect her as a teacher and misbehave. They know they're not learning. The same boys behave perfectly well in Maths, English, Business studies and so on because they know their teachers in these subjects are competent. They are under stress to achieve their targets and they know she is doing nothing for them.
My other ds told me he caught an English teacher on Facebook the other day and I hear time and again about teachers using their mobiles in class, which I think is inexcusable.

seven201 · 03/02/2016 22:06

When I started to read the post I thought it was going to be a teacher bashing one. As a teacher I was so pleased to see that it wasn't! My previous school was a nightmare behaviour wise (no support from leadership). I lost it a couple of times but not to that extreme. I had a bottom set boys class who just would not be quiet so I went outside the door to have a cry (I am not a crying type person) and then after a couple of minutes had to rush back in as a massive fight had broken out and I had to jump in. It was actually quite sweet (not the right word to describe a fight!) as one boy got mad that the class had upset me. Another time I was rushing around clearing up at the end of the lesson and then realised that it was only me clearing up so I threw the pile of stuff in my hands on the floor (to land in a pile) and had a bit of a rant about how it wasn't my mess. I quit soon after these instances as I realised I was a bouncer (and not a particularly effective one) not a teacher. I'd been pushed over in the playground when on duty. Glue put on my chair on my first day. Two girls backed me into a corner and shouted at me calling me a lesbian paedophile (I am neither) and wouldn't let me get past them to leave. I had to teach a yr11 boy who the year before had stabbed another boy who was also in my class. I am not a push over of a teacher and generally my classes at that school did well, but it nearly broke me. I now teach at a school with very few behaviour problems and it so much less stressful.

I can totally understand that poor teacher losing it and I hope it's not the end of her career. Well done to you and your husband for how you're responding to this.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 22:07

I think SMT support is absolutely key in getting behaviour management working properly in schools.

Too many SMT hide in offices and blame teachers for every disruption.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 22:10

Lauren, I agree about competence. I was always fastidious about worksheets, textbooks, marking, organisation and doing exactly what I said I would do. I am sure that helped.

My HoD in the last school I worked in was an alcoholic and the kids used to come up to me and complain she smelled of booze and that they didn't like her. That kind of made me the good guy Shock and to an extent that helped as well.

SMT were useless in that school though. That was the root of a lot of our problems.

cressetmama · 03/02/2016 22:11

I think I taught the same kids as Hesterton, and most were lovely. The majority of them saw education as their escape route from the horror stories. And everyone who has been in a classroom has found themself falling short of their ideal/standard. Most people who stand in front of a class do their damnedest to do their utmost. Yet there are always some pupils who set out to make life impossible for the teacher. Some are clever and use their intellidence, others are physical thugs. When teachers cannot expect the support of management and tough sanctions are not enforced, the lunatics run the asylum.

hesterton · 03/02/2016 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 22:13

You absolutely have to follow through on behaviour issues, to the letter, every single time.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2016 22:15

This Terry Haydn behaviour scale is interesting. Wondering what people think.

newteachers.tes.co.uk/experts/blog/how-good-discipline-schools-today/23406

LalaLyra · 03/02/2016 22:19

The SMT in a school play such a part in how classes behave. I've seen some really excellent teachers driven to despair by shit management who did nothing to back them up.

If she's normally a good teacher I hope she gets support from parents and SMT to destressed and back to teaching. We have too many average and poor teachers to continue losing quality ones imo.

Some of the worst behaviour I've seen from children (and parents) was in so-called 'better' areas. The best two years I worked in schools were in one school in a seriously deprived area. The management team expected a lot from the kids and they turned the school into one that was outstanding (not in ofsted's eyes - too many absences and late comings for them. Totally unable to see the bigger picture sometimes).

I think it does older children good sometimes to know that their behaviour has an impact on people.

Spectre8 · 03/02/2016 22:21

Just another example of parents expecting the school to teach their children good manners etc. Good for your DH in making your child understand the result of his actions because I bet many parents of other children would of just blamed the teacher.

ArmchairTraveller · 03/02/2016 22:22

It is one of the joys of supply, being able to ring up and say politely that you won't be returning and that you will not accept any more work at the school.
I've only done it once.
Yes, I could have managed the foul behaviour and arsing around, and the swaggering threats from Y6 for the half term I'd accepted. But after a week, I'd had enough and I told my agency and they told the school and provided an alternative teacher. Why should I have to deal with a battlefield? I'm a teacher, not riot police.

Leslieknope45 · 03/02/2016 22:22

The problem is if there isn't a consistent approach to behaviour across the school. It has to be led from above. Children need that consistency and a clear understanding of consequences.

Audreyhelp · 03/02/2016 22:30

I do feel sorry for the teacher. But you can't really swear and walk out of any job.

Teachers are supposed to set an example.

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2016 22:32

I do feel sorry for the teacher. But you can't really swear and walk out of any job.
Teachers are supposed to set an example.

Oh for goodness sake. As if anyone on the thread is saying that was a sensible course of action. She was clearly pushed past her breaking point and not thinking logically. Teachers are human (despite what some people seem to think).

fastdaytears · 03/02/2016 22:34

Agreed. Swearing at a class of children was not a considered act which the teacher thought was the best way to deal with the situation. I'm sure we've all been pushed to the edge in some context or another.

treesntrees · 03/02/2016 22:36

My daughter used to teach in an all boys school and said it had a very menacing atmosphere.

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2016 22:38

I've been in a boys schools before-they can be lovely places. I don't think you can generalise based on one person's experience.

Audreyhelp · 03/02/2016 22:40

Ok if you are pushed that's ok then?
If children are pushed is that ok just to walk out as they are human too.

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2016 22:41

Of course it isn't ok. But understandable and forgivable.

Audreyhelp · 03/02/2016 22:43

Yes I have often felt like it in my job and at home but never actually done it. Usually when I had other stuff going on in my life.

fastdaytears · 03/02/2016 22:45

I'm pretty sure kids swear and walk out of classrooms all the time! They did at my very nice and usually calm-ish grammar school anyway.

I'm not a teacher and have never properly lost it at work but honestly I think that's as much luck as anything. I feel really sad for this teacher.

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2016 22:46

I'm pretty sure kids swear and walk out of classrooms all the time!

I wouldn't say "all the time" but it has definitely been known to happen.

ArmchairTraveller · 03/02/2016 22:47

'Ok if you are pushed that's ok then?
If children are pushed is that ok just to walk out as they are human too.'

If you read the hread, the majority are not seeing the teacher's response as a measured, mature and professional one. The are seeing a woman at the end of her teather who has snapped. It's unlikely to end her career, too many of us have been in that position not to regard it as fairlyfamiliar. Most of us don't get to the point of swearing at a class.
Yes, children do walk out. They also run out, throw furniture, swear and threaten and behave in a number of inappropriate ways to staff and each other. That's what the thread is about. The system is collapsing, and these are the symptoms of the decay.

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